Dealing with divorce

Divorce later in life can be hard to navigate alone, as years of being with your spouse invariably leaves your finances, possessions and emotions linked.

According to figures released today, the number of people divorcing in later life has been increasing at a time when divorce rates overall have been falling. Research suggests a big driver of the increase in “silver splitters” is increasing life expectancy.

We’ve gathered together the best tips and resources online to help you cope with the emotional aspects of divorce.

Understanding divorce

Divorce isn’t just an emotionally hard time, it’s filled with new terminology and will probably make you think about things you hadn’t even considered. There are lots of websites dedicated to helping people understand what to look out for when divorcing, which can help you stay as calm as possible.

Citizens Advice is a good starting point for people who want to know what they have to sort out when a marriage ends. Their online guide looks at who you need to inform when you divorce, ways you can separate informally or with a separation agreement, how you can get help with the legal costs of a divorce, and how to take care of children, property, possessions, and finances.

Advice Now have several excellent and comprehensive guides that will help take people through the processes of divorce or ending a civil partnership. A good place to being is with their robust general guide on how divorce and dissolution of civil partnerships work, what you need to think about and plan for the future, and what help you can expect.


Counselling can play a vital role in getting through a divorce, whether it’s just for you or for yourself, your ex, and your family. Whether you have no children, young children or adult offspring, they too will find your divorce an emotional minefield, and counselling can help.

Relate are leading experts in providing counselling, support and information for relationships, and provide dedicated support for people going through divorce. They can help you make decisions on the divorce and agree the path ahead with your ex in their mediation sessions, give family counselling to help if you have children, and have a list of frequently asked questions that people worry about when divorcing.

The NHS website has some excellent suggestions for staying emotionally healthy when going through divorce. Their site has tips on reducing stress, anxiety, panic attacks and depression when divorcing, with advice on how to cope with the demands of divorce.

It’s also important that you make time to meet friends and family to talk to them about the divorce and how you are feeling, as well as making time to enjoy yourself with other people and put the divorce to the back of your mind. Try meeting up with friends who have been through a divorce themselves and seeing what helped – or hindered – them.

Getting Legal and financial advice

It’s vital that you have proper legal support when you’re going through a divorce, as decades of being together can leave your finances complicated and woven together. Trying to untangle your finances on your own can leave you feeling extremely stressed, but there’s lots of help available.

Advice Now have advice on sorting out your finances when you are getting a divorce and their guide on how to get a divorce or end a civil partnership without the help of a lawyer is especially important for people who can’t afford the potentially high fees of a divorce lawyer.

The Money Advice Service has lots of advice on the process of divorce and separation, with detailed guides on how to sort out your finances and whether you need a lawyer when you divorce or dissolve your marriage.

If you are divorced, what helped you get through the emotional time?

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Rachel - Silversurfers Assistant Editor

Hello there! I’m Rachel and I’m the Assistant Editor for Silversurfers. I work behind the scenes to bring interesting, informative and entertaining subject matter to the Silversurfers community. I hope you enjoy the features we have shared with you. Please feel free to comment below and share your thoughts with us, we love to hear from you!

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10th Nov 2015
Thanks for voting!
My partner has been married to his wife for 32 years & been with her for forty. Lives with his wife because she won't agree to selling the house. Obviously no mortgage on it now. How long does he have to wait before he can sell the property if at all. She can't afford to buy him out.
nan macfee
10th Nov 2015
Thanks for voting!
Thirty seven and a half years after marrying the man I loved, he declared it was a sham on his part !!!!!! We had two children. He cruelly declared that they were merely created out of lust not love which cut deep. I found a good lawyer, who not only did her job well but also cared about my well being throughout the ordeal of all that has to be done at a time like this. She kept a professional approach during discussions but showed a very caring,compassionate side once all legal matters were dealt with at each meeting.She fought my case and a good outcome was achieved from what could have been a very bitter, twisted situation as the other party lived abroad at this point and long distance communications are not the best for achieving quick responses. Yes, my bill was high but it was a price worth paying, not just for the outcome ,but for the support I was given that alleviated as much stress as possible for me in such a traumatic situation; one I never expected to find myself in at the age of 60 that's for sure. It's been onwards and upwards since the final decree was issued, but I am finding it difficult to get involved in a serious relationship -----due to issues of trust, can't think why !!!!!!!!!
Thanks for voting!
Thank you for sharing this nan macfee .. glad you are now moving in the right direction 🙂

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