Dealing with divorce
Divorce later in life can be hard to navigate alone, as years of being with your spouse invariably leaves your finances, possessions and emotions linked.
According to figures released today, the number of people divorcing in later life has been increasing at a time when divorce rates overall have been falling. Research suggests a big driver of the increase in “silver splitters” is increasing life expectancy.
We’ve gathered together the best tips and resources online to help you cope with the emotional aspects of divorce.
Understanding divorce
Divorce isn’t just an emotionally hard time, it’s filled with new terminology and will probably make you think about things you hadn’t even considered. There are lots of websites dedicated to helping people understand what to look out for when divorcing, which can help you stay as calm as possible.
Citizens Advice is a good starting point for people who want to know what they have to sort out when a marriage ends. Their online guide looks at who you need to inform when you divorce, ways you can separate informally or with a separation agreement, how you can get help with the legal costs of a divorce, and how to take care of children, property, possessions, and finances.
Advice Now have several excellent and comprehensive guides that will help take people through the processes of divorce or ending a civil partnership. A good place to being is with their robust general guide on how divorce and dissolution of civil partnerships work, what you need to think about and plan for the future, and what help you can expect.
Counselling
Counselling can play a vital role in getting through a divorce, whether it’s just for you or for yourself, your ex, and your family. Whether you have no children, young children or adult offspring, they too will find your divorce an emotional minefield, and counselling can help.
Relate are leading experts in providing counselling, support and information for relationships, and provide dedicated support for people going through divorce. They can help you make decisions on the divorce and agree the path ahead with your ex in their mediation sessions, give family counselling to help if you have children, and have a list of frequently asked questions that people worry about when divorcing.
The NHS website has some excellent suggestions for staying emotionally healthy when going through divorce. Their site has tips on reducing stress, anxiety, panic attacks and depression when divorcing, with advice on how to cope with the demands of divorce.
It’s also important that you make time to meet friends and family to talk to them about the divorce and how you are feeling, as well as making time to enjoy yourself with other people and put the divorce to the back of your mind. Try meeting up with friends who have been through a divorce themselves and seeing what helped – or hindered – them.
Getting Legal and financial advice
It’s vital that you have proper legal support when you’re going through a divorce, as decades of being together can leave your finances complicated and woven together. Trying to untangle your finances on your own can leave you feeling extremely stressed, but there’s lots of help available.
Advice Now have advice on sorting out your finances when you are getting a divorce and their guide on how to get a divorce or end a civil partnership without the help of a lawyer is especially important for people who can’t afford the potentially high fees of a divorce lawyer.
The Money Advice Service has lots of advice on the process of divorce and separation, with detailed guides on how to sort out your finances and whether you need a lawyer when you divorce or dissolve your marriage.
If you are divorced, what helped you get through the emotional time?
Rachel - Silversurfers Assistant Editor
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