When you care

I’d like to tell you of my life having to look after someone with Dementia that someone being my old dad of 83 years.

It can be difficult at times, as every day I see him there is always something new; like today I went to get something out of his freezer and found it full of washing and then you have to look to see where he put all the food only to discover it in cupboards, drawers, and even the shower.

It is one of the hardest things in life to watch your parent wandering about confused most of the time, I’m trying to keep my dad in his own home for as long as I can, as the last thing I want is him having to go into full time care. Reality tells me the time is coming soon as my own health is now starting to suffer with all the stress. Anyone reading this who has been in my situation will understand how I feel.  I have lots of emotions like I’m letting him down, I hate leaving him all by himself but I know I have my own life as well and my family and husband to think about, but it is so hard at times.

I just hope that some of you reading this will not have to have this in their lives with their parents, but if you do, all you have to do is be understanding with them, and have patience and most of all lots of Love.

Written By: Sandra Wood

The following two tabs change content below.

Sandra Wood

I'm just a nanny to my 2 lovely grandsons and a wife to my lovely husband of 42 yrs

Latest posts by Sandra Wood (see all)

Leave a Comment!

Not a member?

You need to be a member to interact with Silversurfers. Joining is free and simple to do. Click the button below to join today!

Click here if you have forgotten your password
Sandra Wood
21st Jul 2013
Thanks for voting!
Hy June thank you for your comment unfortunately I had to make the biggest decision of my life and place my dad in a care home he seems to be settled at present but has only been there a week I visited around 10 homes before I made my choice it wasn't easy but I had to do it as he was wandering outside during the night I have looked after him for near on 10 yrs but my own health was suffering also I had no quality time with my husband or family so there comes a time you just have to think about yourself and he is in a very nice care home with lovely staff and I sleep better knowing he is safe I hope this helps you god bless

21st Jul 2013
Thanks for voting!
My mum is the same age and she to has memory problems. It is an emotional journey we would rather not take when a parent becomes dependent like this. As you say the only thing we can do is help keep them at home as long as possible.
12th Feb 2013
Thanks for voting!
Oh thanks Mary it does get difficult at times but I will look at places with meetings with other carrers so at least ill be able to speak to as they will understand and also get advice from I haveooked at respite and I'm getting a weekend for him so hope to get away thank you for understanding

Sandra x
Mary Rothera
12th Feb 2013
Thanks for voting!
Dear Sandra .My husband had Alzheimer's Disease. so I know your pain. You have to remember to look after yourself to be able to care for your dad . Try respite care it really can help. Meeting other carers who you can chat to and ask how they cope with things .I also think its good to remember the saving grace of humour and laugh at things with dad. Laughing always helps to relieve the hurt. Bless you Sandra X
lynne Noble
3rd Feb 2013
Thanks for voting!
Dear Sandra,
It is never easy watching someone you love loose themselves with dementia. I hope that you have outside support because caring for someone with dementia - as you have identified - takes its toll on the health of the carer as well.
There are many lovely care homes which you may need to explore. Finding a good care home for your Dad is not a failure on your part in any way; your immediate family also needs you and you cannot continue to be pulled in two as you are now.
I used to run residential homes and many produce a service more found in a 5 star hotel. A lot of the decisions that your Dad can't cope with and which will only increase his stress levels and affect his short term memory will be taken away from him.
However, I would also state that other conditions and medication can severely impact memory - statins are one of them and perhaps his medication and other conditions, if any, need to be reviewed.
I don't know if our website will help - there is some of the latest research on dementia - our charity seeks to help people and their families living with neuro degenerative disorders. There is a useful section on medium chain triglycerides which have been found to improve memory in people with dementia - you can find us on
If I can be of any further help then please don't hesitate to contact me.

Kind regards
Lynne Noble ( Chair of Directors, Kingdom Living)

Community Terms & Conditions

Content standards

These content standards apply to any and all material which you contribute to our site (contributions), and to any interactive services associated with it.

You must comply with the spirit of the following standards as well as the letter. The standards apply to each part of any contribution as well as to its whole.

Contributions must:

be accurate (where they state facts); be genuinely held (where they state opinions); and comply with applicable law in the UK and in any country from which they are posted.

Contributions must not:

contain any material which is defamatory of any person; or contain any material which is obscene, offensive, hateful or inflammatory; or promote sexually explicit material; or promote violence; promote discrimination based on race, sex, religion, nationality, disability, sexual orientation or age; or infringe any copyright, database right or trade mark of any other person; or be likely to deceive any person; or be made in breach of any legal duty owed to a third party, such as a contractual duty or a duty of confidence; or promote any illegal activity; or be threatening, abuse or invade another’s privacy, or cause annoyance, inconvenience or needless anxiety; or be likely to harass, upset, embarrass, alarm or annoy any other person; or be used to impersonate any person, or to misrepresent your identity or affiliation with any person; or give the impression that they emanate from us, if this is not the case; or advocate, promote or assist any unlawful act such as (by way of example only) copyright infringement or computer misuse.

Nurturing a safe environment

Our Silversurfers community is designed to foster friendships, based on trust, honesty, integrity and loyalty and is underpinned by these values.

We don't tolerate swearing, and reserve the right to remove any posts which we feel may offend others... let's keep it friendly!