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Paul53's bio
I am in my 60's and retired. My main career was in social work and adult education. I live in East Lancashire on my own but still enjoy travel around the UK. Like most people I suppose I miss the companionship I used to have but do not feel particularly lonely as I take on something to do every day. -
Paul53's latest comments
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19th Oct 2021Paul53 commented on:
New member looking for guidanceHi. I'm not sure you need likes but if you do I hope this helps. I'm afraid these forums are a bit slow in terms of responses but stick with it. I got a comment on a post I made a few months ago which is why I came back to silver surfers and am looking through to see if there is anything useful I can contribute. Good luck with finding a few people to chat with.ViewDate:
19th Oct 2021Paul53 commented on:
Kinda lost - is it too late to start again at 65?Hi. Thank you for butting in. It's useful to get to know and explore the type of relationships some of us more mature individuals really want. I think there are quite a number of both men and women that would really like to have the kind of relationship that can be caring and based on mutual interests rather than, as you put it, 'only after one thing'. I believe it is those experiences that probably put many women off from trying to find such a companion. Social media can be a pool filled with sharks and there are many stories of disappointment and bad experiences. As it happens I have made a friend through this site and we have met up on a few occasions over the past few months. I know you only have my word for it but we have just shared our interest in family history with no suggestion of any additional relationship. Although I very much like her as a friend I must be honest and say that I am still looking for someone that lives closer to me (she is 90 miles away) to be more like a companion than friend, Like with Whitebeam 1 I am only interested in sharing ideas on this subject with you (and others) and nothing further as you live around 300 miles from me. I am not trying to convince anyone of my honest intentions. So I do think that anything is possible but for me probably unlikely which makes me quite angry with the other members of my gender that lie and exaggerate on social media and hamper genuine people from fulfilling their desire for simple companionship. I don't know if there is any way around this dilemma and would welcome any thoughts anyone might have. Good luck to you and I hope you find someone to share your life with that respects your wishes.ViewDate:
16th Oct 2021Paul53 commented on:
Hello!Hi Lynn I haven't been on this site for a few months and decided to jump back in when someone responded to an old post. It's not that easy to get responses it seems so I thought I would write to you and suggest that you make some more comments to other people's posts. I noticed your post because my cat (aged 16) passed away a few months ago and I realise how difficult losing a pet that has been part of your life for so long can be. I am sorry to hear that you have health issues and life can seem very isolated. You may be disappointed that your post did not attract more responses but don't be put off. I have met a new friend through this site. It's also worth writing more as this might help with you ambition to write a short story or even a book. Everyone has to start somewhere. Good luck and best wishes.ViewDate:
16th Oct 2021Paul53 commented on:
Kinda lost - is it too late to start again at 65?I don't know if you still use this site. I seem to see many people that, like you, start off by adding comments to posts and seem to get nothing back. I am the same so only noticed your post when, out of the blue, someone responded to something I wrote several months ago when I joined. I agree with much you write. However, (and I don't think I am alone) the things I am looking for in a relationship apply much more to someone the same age as me (68) than to someone younger. I was married to someone much younger than me and it was fantastic. I believe she was (mostly) happy from some of the things I have read since she passed away. I always thought I would pay more attention when I retired but we only had three months. Although I believe that I showed affection, I feel that I could and should have done much more. My warning therefore to other men is not to put anything off and live for today as you never know how much time you have. Now all I would like is that companionship and closeness without all the add-on complicated stuff. I realise just how important these elements are and certainly regret that I missed opportunities to express my feelings. I believe that such a relationship is more likely with someone around the same age as me who does not have those more physical expectations we all had when we were younger. By this I don't mean physical expressions of affection. As I mentioned at the start I don't think I am the only man that yearns for a meaningful relationship with someone of the same views and age-group.ViewDate:
16th Oct 2021Paul53 commented on:
Kinda lost - is it too late to start again at 65?Thank you for your thoughtful comments. Like most things in life though, one type of person gets branded with the behaviour of others. It sounds like you have had some experience of the, perhaps more typical, male behaviour. It is difficult to develop trust against a background of scams, half-truths and false promises. It's easy, I suppose, to flatter and be deceitful and how can someone tell the true character of a person who might just be good a writing the 'right' words. I write this in the safety of knowing that I am not trying to convince you personally as our geographical distance makes my interest only in communicating with a person that shares some of the same feelings as me. Take heart though. There are men out there like me that truly want the best parts of a relationship without all the complicated stuff we perhaps yearned for when younger. I will keep looking and I hope you do too as no-one should be alone when there are all types of possibilities out there.ViewDate:
13th Oct 2021Paul53 commented on:
Kinda lost - is it too late to start again at 65?Unfortunately, although I know what I would like, it is probably very difficult to find. I definitely don't want dating with all the different expectations around that. I would like friendship and companionship which are the main things I miss since my wife passed. I think most male/female relationships (or other preferences) are based on a very narrow perspective. There are several parts of a 'normal' relationship that I really don't want any more in life but I have always got on better with women than men. Anyway, I'll keep looking (although I don't expect to be successful) as hope is a good emotion to hold on to.ViewDate:
14th Jul 2021Paul53 commented on:
Would you like to see a debate happen about the monarchy?Oh! 600? That's around o.0o1% of the population. People always seem to want change with no real idea what would be better than what we already have. What would a 'president' do? what powers would they have? Why go to the expense of an election if all we want anyway is a figurehead. At least we know what we are getting with the monarchy. I might agree if there was proposed a complete change in the system of government with 2 elected houses and proportional representation. That's never going to happen as the current system suits the 2 main parties in England so why would they change what, for them, is a perfect way of protecting their little clubs.ViewDate:
4th Jul 2021Paul53 commented on:
I am new to all this - looking for like minded membersHi again Karen. When I joined this site I did not know what to expect. I was surprised to get any response let alone one as positive as yours. The last few years have knocked my confidence a bit so it was very pleasant to communicate warmly with another person. Like you many of my friends have got on with their own lives and, particularly through the various lockdowns, have had other things to think about. I have given your suggestion of meeting up for coffee a lot of thought over the past 24 hours. Barrow is not too far away and well worth a trip for the possibility of making a new friend. I would though not want to disappoint you as real life is often different than the on-line version. I will give this some more thought and perhaps we can continue to communicate on-line and find out a little more about each other? If you are up for this we could perhaps transfer or communications to the 'chat' section of the site. Please don't mistake my caution for lack of interest as it is more to do with my own feelings. One part of me would get in the car a meet with you tomorrow. Anyway, sorry for the long explanation but honesty is one of the most important things to me. Paul.ViewDate:
3rd Jul 2021Paul53 commented on:
Giving lifts to someone!There are always problems with such one-sided relationships. Most of us fall into the trap because we are, at heart, good people who want to offer help when asked. In this situation be firm and honest. Either help out only when it suits you and does not take you out of the way or if this is not possible then make it a clear no! This may make things strained for a short time but if this person is the type she seems to be, she will soon turn her focus on someone else. Good luck.ViewDate:
3rd Jul 2021Paul53 commented on:
Kinda lost - is it too late to start again at 65?It probably depends on what you are looking for out of a new relationship. Obviously as we get older our wants and needs change. No-one has to stay where they are not happy but beware that the grass may only look greener. If you are clear about what you want from a relationship then go for it if the opportunity arises. Be careful though as loneliness can be a hard burden to bear.ViewDate:
2nd Jul 2021Paul53 commented on:
I am new to all this - looking for like minded membersHi KAZ04. I live in east Lancashire but know Cumbria well as it's one of my most favourite places to travel around. In fact I have planned a trip to Maryport in the near future. Although a 3 hour journey it is well worth it to see the scenery and enjoy my memories. I am lucky in one way that I can get around those places that remind me of good days. I do miss companionship. Just having someone there to feel comfortable with both when being active or to relax with and laugh about the crazy world we live in. It certainly is not what I expected when I was younger when I thought getting to my age would be the end of all things. I believe I still have another chapter in life to live. Anyway, I would like to chat with you if you want to share your thoughts. -
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