Mels's bioHello, when not doing the day job I spend my time volunteering as a mentor which, among other things, means I teach office skills to those wanting to get into employment as well as creativity workshops for anyone wanting to develop a creative attitude.
I also love a good wander and ponder, with my stomping grounds being the Thames Path and our wonderful canal network.
And, when I'm not doing any of that, I run a couple of blogs - one that promotes a creative attitude and the other because, as my mother has been reminding me for over fifty years, I have far more to say that can possibly be good for me ...
Mels's latest commentsMels commented on:
Looking to re-home a small dogOh you poor love - it is so awful when they go - especially when it is sudden and can be such a dreadful shock.Mels commented on:
Are you living where you always wanted to live?Funnily enough I don't mind the airports but in all these years I will never, ever get of jet lag - it kills me and the older I get the worse it gets. My mother returned to her native Canada a few years ago and is not exactly in the best of health so I have had one or two dashes across the ocean - an eleven hour flight - awful.Mels commented on:
Are you living where you always wanted to live?Ah jeany, contentment and general happiness with your lot is a good but rare thing. I have often wondered if my marriage hadn't gone for a burton whether I would still be living the same area or whether economic circumstances may have made us move on - but the past is a place called yesterday and I shall simply never know!Mels commented on:
Are you living where you always wanted to live?I agree Dollie, it is a constant complaint I hear from my family that younger members are having to move away because not only is there nothing to buy (if indeed they could afford to!) but rentals are not only prohibitive but few and far between - I think sometimes many forget that the housing problems aren't just in the cities.Mels commented on:
Are you living where you always wanted to live?Hi jeanmark, I always thought that I would hate the city and when I first moved up here I actually only gave it six months - talk about a duck taking to water - here I am 26 years later!Mels commented on:
Are you living where you always wanted to live?I know how you feel LittleMinx, I still love the countryside and it is a wonderful release at time to spend a weekend down there to blow away the cobwebs but I am now too entrenched in city life and can imagine no other.Funnily enough I didn't do much travelling whilst I was married but that had more to do with being married to a farmer who refused to leave the farm for too long and hated foreign travel. It was totally different when I moved to London - I guess you could say my 'career' took of then and I had the freedom to do the jobs I wanted which meant working overseas at times. I've worked in the Cayman Islands, helped open an office in Poland, went on secondment to the UAE, worked in New York and the Cayman Islands - not to mention leisure travel so, yes, my world opened up and I feel really fortunate.I am grateful for my country roots but am certainly much happier being a city dweller!Mels commented on:
Are you living where you always wanted to live?I know what you mean Jenninora about the culture shock - I didn't visit my former home for a good few years and even though it is only just over 100 miles away - it seemed so strange as I had gotten so used to the hustle and bustle of London and everything seemed so slow and quiet.Mels commented on:
Our travels through life!Cousin Jane, unfortunately, married a wrong 'un - haven't seen her for years, mainly because I headed north to London after my marriage ended and am now, as far as I'm concerned, a naturalised Londoner - absolutely love the big city and would never return to my country roots.You are indeed correct, it is now Salisbury District Hospital - I actually didn't know that - bless you Google ...I also remember the general hospital which, I seem to recall, was in Fisherton Street but long, long ago became luxury apartments.As you say, we should perhaps have a memories post - sometimes it's nice to dwell on a gentler and more innocent (well, not cousin Jane, obvs.) age.Mels commented on:
Are you surprised that Donald Trump won?Personally, not thrilled at having a racist, mysogynist buffoon in the White House and, strangely, even more upset about this than I was the Brexit vote - not completely sure why but may be that I have a lot of American friends and they are embarrassed and devastated in equal measure today.Mels commented on:
Our travels through life!Me? Oh I'm a nit picking, picky Virgo! And if there is a person on this earth who is true to their star sign - why, tis I! I am the woman who even has colour coordinated paper clips in her study - need I say more ....??!!!Mels commented on:
Our travels through life!Hey LittleMinx, goodness, I go away for a few hours and the forum has burst into life! I lived in a little village called Martin and managed to pass my Eleven Plus and go to the girls grammar in Salisbury so got to know this lovely City and the surrounding areas very well.It's funny you mention the river pole vault, one summer we set up a swinging rope which most of us managed to swing from one side of the riverbank to the other quite successfully except, of course, for the aforementioned cousin Jane who fell in.And I was born at Odstock hospital!Mels commented on:
Our travels through life!LittleMinx, you have just given a very large dose of nostalgia - I know the area really well, Wallops and all! Went to school in Salisbury and we would often go on field trips to Silbury Hill with our (rather tasty, or so I thought at the time) geography teacher.The summer months also meant that my cousins and I could be found swimming in the River Avon and we even made a raft one year and would sail around until danger prone cousin Jane managed to sink the darned thing!Mels commented on:
Jill GascoineYou're right there jeany, we should cherish every day.A couple of my friends have mums who are in the early stages of Alzheimer's and I cannot decide which is worse - losing a loved one when they die suddenly or watching them die slowly whilst they are still alive - which is what Alzheimer's is really.Mels commented on:
English GrammarI run creativity workshops and, honestly, I don't believe good grammar is at odds with creative flow but a fair number of people find that it gets in the way in the early stages - especially with creative writing. Often a brilliant idea can get bogged down as we spend too much time on the minutiae and let the idea drift off.Creative juices need to flow and you can sweat the small stuff later, so to speak - that sounds really simple in theory but, as I have said, many do tend to fret over it.ViewDate:
7th Nov 2016Mels commented on:
LonlinessHi Georgie GirlI saw your post yesterday but wanted a little time to consider what you have said before making a response. Please understand that I am going to make some assumptions about you, because I do not know you, so I hope you take what I am about to say in the spirit with which it is truly intended and are not offended by my words – let’s call them food for thought as opposed to solutions or judgements.You strike me as quite a sensitive soul and also as someone who is quite anxious – now there is nothing wrong with either and, often, neither state is the fault of the person who is suffering but they can cause problems generally in life.It is quite apparent that the trauma and sense of abandonment you experienced whilst in hospital all those years ago has had a deep and long lasting effect on you and, believe me, it is quite understandable that when you are at a low ebb – like now, it rears up to overwhelm you all over again.I am wondering what your level of self-esteem is like? I deal with a lot of people with lower than average self-esteem, on a regular basis, and one of the key elements of such a low level is that the sufferer often tries to underpin their feelings of worthlessness – for example, you felt abandoned when you were little and now, when you don’t understand why people are not reaching out to you with the hand of friendship, you automatically take yourself back to that time when you felt that no one cared about you – you felt unwanted then and you feel unwanted now – you felt your family didn’t care about you and the reason must be because you’re not worth caring about. That may sound brutal and I probably haven’t articulated it that well but once we are feeling low it is oh so easy to search for the reasons and often the reasons we arrive at are that we are at fault.The truth of the matter, however, is quite different but making yourself understand and accept that is a difficult thing to fulfil, so don’t beat yourself up over the fact that you are truly struggling. You clearly are a kind and considerate person, as borne out by your attempts to be neighbourly and, yes, it can be upsetting and frustrating that your thoughtfulness is not reciprocated but let me tell you something - we all lead busy lives and sometimes the sheer effort of getting through each day can take up most of our time and consideration and if, like your new neighbours, I had received a card from you, I would very likely feel that it was incredibly kind but, in the general mish mash of life, it is also quite likely that I would quickly forget your kindness and not thank you – it would not be intentional rudeness but it would mean that I was probably more than a little inconsiderate in the grand scheme of things. So please don’t take this inconsiderate behaviour as a deliberate slight – I’m prepared to bet with everything going on, coupled with moving to a new area – they were too tied up in themselves to consider you! That can feel incredibly hurtful but I doubt if it was deliberate and it certainly wouldn’t be because they thought for one single moment that you couldn’t possibly be a nice person to know.You say that you want to welcome the world in – of course you do and I bet you have an immense amount to give but, as others have said, the world will not come to you – you need to get yourself out there in the world.There are many, many ways of doing this but, as I have rambled on enough, that is for another post – so maybe you could give us an idea of any interests you have or, indeed, anything you thought you might like to do and I’m sure the good folks on here can come up with some sterling thoughts and suggestions.I for my part, do a lot of voluntary work – incredibly rewarding and I have made some lifelong friendships but not, I appreciate, everyone’s cup of tea.Getting yourself out there is, as I’ve said, the hard bit but, as clichéd as this may sound – a journey of a thousand miles really does begin with the first step.Mels commented on:
I'm a newbieHi jeanymay and thank you for the welcome. It's strange, I resisted Facebook for years although I have been on Twitter a while. Thought I would give FB a go a few weeks ago and now love it - think it's a great way to find sites like this so I really do look forward to joining in.Mels commented on:
I'm a newbieHi Lionel, that's good to know. I've had a bit of a look around and there are certainly some interesting articles and informed chats going on - I must try and set some regular time in my day to pop in.Mels commented on:
BloggingHi Jonzo, fellow blogger! I've had a look at your blog and it's good, really good. I like your straightforward style and how you talk about retirement as it is. I'm pretty certain that it will appeal to a lot of others out there, those who are retired and those who are getting ready to face that day. I'm a little way off of that yet but when I do I think I shall look on it by using one of your suggestions - 'The phase of golden opportunities' - love it!Mels commented on:
I'm a newbieThanks for the welcome Wilf and for the Speakers Corner tip - I shall hunt these down!Mels commented on:
I'm a newbieHello everyone, I've just joined Silversurfers today - quite by accident I must admit - faffing around on Facebook and this site popped up as being one of interest and here I am! I look forward to getting to know you all and joining in the chat.
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