As it’s spider season (and I’ve already come across one or two rather large eight legged creatures in my home) I wrote this light hearted poem about our scurrying, and not always welcome, home invaders.
I know that you keep flies away
that’s quite an important job,
but every time I see you
a scream emanates from my gob.
While you’re up there in the corner
all calm, curled up and still,
I don’t mind your company,
I can cope with that, until…
You crawl down the wall onto the floor,
which gives me such a scare
and you do a little victory dance
when I jump up onto the chair.
I get someone to throw you out
“Take him far away!” I say,
but no sooner is the door closed,
to get back in you’ve found a way.
You don’t seem to come back alone though,
you bring your family, and a few mates.
You tell your wife to get me too,
so for the dark she waits.
When I’m in my bedroom sleeping,
she abseils down on my face,
and stomps on it while I’m dreaming,
then goes back to her hiding place.
Then she sends the kids out,
to run amok around the house
some as small as penny coins,
others as big as a mouse!
One to wait on the middle stair
so I can’t get up to bed,
one waits till I draw the curtains
to jump down, “Tally-ho !!” on my head.
One to sit in the washing basket,
then run halfway up my arm,
one to creep up on the baby
and snigger at my attempts to keep calm.
I don’t want to resort to the newspaper,
or pneumatic drill or blow torch,
but I might just let the cat eat you,
if you come in any nearer than the porch.
You just stay up there in that corner
and we’ll happily get along fine,
where I’ll leave you to do your job,
and you leave me to do mine.
Cate Hayes 2016
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