Grandad’s funeral

Grandad’s funeral

It’s the day of Granddad’s funeral
and everyone looks sad,
all in black and sombre
even dear old Aunty Glad.

We follow by the coffin,
our heads bowed in respect.
Listening to the vicar,
so sad in retrospect.

We listened to the music,
we sang “Abide with me”.
Uncle John had to leave early,
he was desperate for a wee.

Then old Edna read a poem
about life after death,
but Granddad was an atheist
until his dying breath.

Aunty Ena started crying,
and she said that was a sin,
but she settled down quite quickly
when she had a sip of gin.

And then his next door neighbour
said old Granddad was a saint,
whilst his lover Mrs Taylor
complained of feeling faint.

We sang the Lord’s my Shepherd,
but dear Granddad was no sheep.
The stories that he’d told me
could make a grown man weep.

And then the lovely vicar
told us he was now at peace.
he missed out the awkward story
about Granddad and the police.

It was a sad occasion
but he had the last laugh,
when we read what he’d suggested
should be his epitaph.

“Here lies dear old Granddad
whose bones had got cremated,
he wants us all to know that
dying is overrated”.

And the church filled up with laughter
as they carried out his old shell,
because he’d chosen the last music
played loud: “Bat out of hell”.

Jan Millward©

About the author

8028 Up Votes
I live in a tied cottage on a farm in rural Dorset. I work as an activity coordinator in a local care home, organising everything from visiting donkeys to trips out to the seaside! I have always been involved in agriculture. I love travelling, gardening , reading and I also have taken to writing poetry. I have just published my 3rd book which is something I have always wanted to do! My books are available on Amazon.

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28th Aug 2017
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Loved this poem Jan ,could not help laughing and i do not do that now as i have a chronic illness ! must read more of your poems !
27th Aug 2017
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Hope it is not the wrong thing to say but I loved that poem ir made me feel there is humour in that day .... thank you Jan ... smile
27th Aug 2017
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Very good. Nice easy read. It has left me wanting to read more.. maybe about the antics at the wake
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I love your poems , I have been writing a few poems and hope to do a book one day
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Love your poem I have alway wrote poem even as a youngster ,more so now I have lost my husband I too would love to do a book
19th Aug 2017
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Chortle, chortle. Brilliant!
18th Aug 2017
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Enjoying reading your poems very much, will have a look on Amazon to see your books
7th Aug 2017
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You made a sad and sombre occasion very amusing with this poem Jean. Love it.

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