New Years Resolution Cat Style

On New Years Day morning

I’ve made my resolutions and I think you’ll be impressed.
This cat will be so virtuous you’ll think I’m truly blessed.
No napping on counterpane with filthy muddy feet.
I’ll saunter to my cat bed just quietly and discrete.

The carpet will be perfect, as I’ll choose to barf outside.
Your home will be unblemished from the prey I put aside.
No swanning over worktops in search of tasty food.
I’ll wait for dinner silently then show my gratitude.

I’ll be more altruistic when you’re watching your t.v.
No sitting right in front of it, you have my guarantee.
I vow to bring no offerings in the middle of the night
There’ll be no squeaking furry things to scare you by moonlight.

I promise not to climb your legs as you sit upon the throne.
or attack the lead connected to your favourite mobile phone.
I’ll refrain from climbing furniture and sharpening my claws.
or batting everything in sight as you try to do your chores.

You can trust me with the hamster as he runs inside his wheel.
I will not eye him up and down as though he were a meal.
I’ll let you sleep ‘til you wake up no yowling for my food,
no scratching at your bedroom door to put you in a mood.

I’ll use my cat flap without fail, no yowling by the door
and coming in at 3 am won’t happen anymore.
No more fighting with the neighbour’s cat or bullying their mutt
just unassuming modesty without the need to strut.

The Next Day

Well I think I lasted really well and I’m feeling rather pleased.
I think I do the same next year, as New Year was a breeze!

Teresa Harrison-Best