Quiz Shows

Hi there. I love watching Quiz programmes. Some answers on yesterday’s Tipping Point took the biscuit and thought you might like to read this poem which I’ve written with my point of view!

Quiz Shows

Now, I am not a Mastermind
I’ll make that very clear.
And I don’t always remember
What I see or hear.

But when I watch the Quizzes
Which screen on the T.V.
Compared to some contestants
I’m a genius with a capital ‘G’.

Take the much-loved Tipping Point.
In just one episode
The howlers they come out with
Make my flabbergast explode.

Where do I begin my point?
Let’s start with someone vile.
‘What was Hitler’s first name?’
Came the answer ‘Heil’.

‘Traditionally, when is Christmas day celebrated
all over the U.K?’
The contestant’s brain slowly churned
Then blurted out ‘Wednesday’.

‘Name the highest order of primate’
Ben asked, hopefully.
The contestant, sure she knew it, said
‘The Archbishop of Canterbury’.

‘In 1841, package holidays were introduced by…..?’
(Hoping for Thomas Cook)
‘British Airways’ was the answer. Really?
I must take another look.

And they will say, as if in defence,
‘That was before my time’.
So were all the Henrys, but I know
They never got to nine.

I know the square root of 25,
The Capital of Spain.
I know who Gilbert and Sullivan were
And they weren’t a Health Food chain.

They’ll say ‘I haven’t got a scoobie’
Or ‘I haven’t got a clue’.
Look here now, you’re 48.
You should know how to spell ‘kangaroo’.

My favourite answer of all time?
That’s easy, it came on The Chase.
I could tell it was likely to go very wrong
By the look on Bradley’s face.

‘Which letter of the alphabet’, was the question,
‘Describes the violin hole.
Is it F, or A or S?’. The contestant,
(not a musical soul)

Took some time to ponder
While the seconds ticked away.
She discounted F, she shunned the S
And pressed the button for A.

They don’t know Cain was Abel’s brother,
Not sure who built Noah’s Ark.
They always go for an ‘educated guess’,
But it’s just a stab in the dark.

They know sod all about Geography,
History, Grammar or Art.
Science, Maths or Literature….
A blur right from the start.

But ask them a question about T.V. progs
And their little eyes will glow.
‘At last, a question right up my alley.
Something I’ll definitely know’.

‘The latest judge on ‘Strictly’?
The Soaps – who’s bonking who?
Master Chef, Love Island?
NOW I’ll have a clue’.

But they don’t know oceans or deserts
They don’t know who Lord Nelson was.
They don’t know much about anything.
The reason must be because….

….Schools no longer  teach the basics
To  build on and raise the bar,
To make kids curious and find out why
Things are the way they are.

I think it an indictment
On every Government
That education is not the priority
On which our taxes are spent.

If Tipping Point is an example,
It exposes a gaping hole
In an education system once the envy of the world.
Now THAT’S what I call an Own Goal.