My reaction to the Brexit referendum

DEMOCRACY AND THE ROLLING ENGLISH DRUNKARD
with apologies to G.K.Chesterton

Before the Brussels bureaucrat said bananas must be straight,
The rolling English drunkard cared little what he ate.
We overcooked our cabbage and ate mutton that was tough,
But then came men from Europe who said, ‘enough’s enough.’
We’ll give you lots of goodies though you’ll all be in the red,
So we gave up eating Cheddar and had Camembert instead.

We saw no harm in bratwurst and plenty in pork pies,
The humble English banger we learnt we should despise.
But soon we wondered what we’d done and really felt betrayed
When told by law how things were named and how they should be weighed.
No longer ounces, pounds and pints but metric we must go,
To market traders everywhere this was a serious blow.

We all began to tire of sipping coffee in the sun.
Why should Merkel preach to us when after all we’d won?
We want to be like Norway for reasons all can guess.
We want to have our money back to give the NHS.
Mumblings of discontent were heard throughout the land.
Said Dave, ‘A referendum! We’ll see then how things stand.’

My friends we’ll go no more to Spain by way of Dungeness.
We’ve gone and voted Brexit now we’re really in a mess.
We say we didn’t mean it and we want to change our minds,
Please let us have another go, we’ll get it right next time.
‘Too late’, say Tusk and Junkers as they point towards the door.
‘There’s nothing we can do. You should have thought of that before.’

So now the British people all are up in arms.
Blaming Nigel and the boomers for doing so much harm.
Our leaders, they have given up. What help is there at hand?
As anger, gloom and discontent are spread throughout the land.
But we shouldn’t get despondent and let it get us down.
We all can go to Scotland by way of Dublin town.