The Accursed Menopause

By Teresa H-B Apr 25, 2021

This is for the ladies of a certain age…. Always good to laugh.

The Accursed Menopause

I’m flashing like a beacon and sweating like a horse,

my words get in a muddle as I lose them in midcourse.

My moods are like a yo-yo, no telling what comes next,

annoyed with everybody and feeling rather vexed!

Bloated like pumpkin and feeling like a whale.

Oh, to be more flexible and faster than a snail

The night sweats are atrocious as I thrash around the bed,

flailing like a windmill as I clump my hubbies head.

I spend the night just wide-awake, I’m done with counting sheep

all I want is forty winks of good old fashioned sleep.

Next morning I’m exhausted as though I’ve gone ten rounds,

and in need of nice strong coffee to get me off the ground.

My bones are always aching and my nails have gone to pot,

I cry at every movie that has any kind of plot.

The chains that hold my mood swings are snapping one by one,

our dinners are al-dente or completely overdone.

My memory’s like a goldfish, ‘what was it, I just said’?

I think it’s all the cotton wool that’s stuffing my poor head.

My libido’s on vacation, perhaps it’s on a cruise,

or wafting in the ether disordered and confused.

Well, at least I have my sisters, who share this misery,

and we’re on this trip together to the final destiny.

So, we’ll share a drop of Chenin or a little Chardonnay.

Toasting cellulite and wrinkles as we stagger on our way!

It’s good to laugh!

Teresa Harrison-Best

About the author

Teresa H-B

3241 Up Votes

Happily married with three grown up children. Proud grandmother to six and enjoying every minute. I had my first book published several years ago called Catawall, fluent in feline. Recently I had a children's book published, Mackerel and the Jolly Daisy, scourge of the high seas, published by i2i Publishing, I am a prolific writer about many things and often post on both my own FB page and the FB page for Catawall. I am a great advocate for animals and anyone less fortunate than myself.