The Exam

The Exam

I can still feel the pain when I think of that day
the apprehension of failing, feeling thick,
overwhelmed me as I stared out that stormy grey
morn, just the thought of breakfast made me feel sick
I scoured the bedroom for my other long sock
or should I change them, it had been over a week
I stared for a moment at the Micky Mouse clock
took my brothers socks, they hadn’t yet reached their peak

The bowl on the table was spewing out steam
the porridge within it, not very appealing
I stirred strawberry jam into the thick cream
till it went very cold and started congealing,
A tap on my head brought me back down to earth
courtesy of my dad, for wasting good food
Along with the wise words ‘been useless since birth’
dad started every day in a stinking mood.

Mum packed me off to school, with a kiss on the cheek
gave me a threepenny bit to buy some tuck,
Got hold of my school tie and gave it a tweak
gave me a little hug and wished me good luck.
First stop was the sweet shop for Victory V’s
you weren’t normally allowed any sweets in school
But if you had a pretend cough – or a slight wheeze
cough sweets were ok, accepted as a rule.

At school the atmosphere was hushed, very calm
the corridors awash with mumbling pupils
You’d think they’d let us in, what would be the harm
but teachers were hard faced, they had no scruples,
The school bell ringing brought me back down to earth
we entered the classroom like lambs to the slaughter
The teacher just stood there, his brow nicely furled
‘Excuse me sir, could I have some water?’

“Couldn’t have got some before you came in here?”
his moustache twitched with his every word.
Grown in his old days as an army Brigadier
Won a medal for gallantry or so I had heard.
I sat down at my desk, stared at the blank page
how hard could it be, I wasn’t really thick
I knew a few things, But I wasn’t a great sage
I had just two hours and it made me feel sick

‘Turn over your papers.’ The growling voice said
‘print your name on the front in capitals please,
there are rules on the front, make sure they are read’
No attempt whatsoever to put us at ease,
I turned the page over, it just became blurred
concentration was gone, had deserted me
I stared at the sheet, couldn’t make out a word
Hand movements and brain just couldn’t agree.

Then into my head, a song strangely came
‘One Monday morning, found I’d made the grade,
It started me thinking, had she done the same’
Over and over in my head it played.
‘Jennifer Eccles’ wouldn’t leave me alone
Like hiccups it repeated time and again
I felt like Allan Clarke – or at least a clone
And that damn song was becoming a pain!

Suddenly all became crystal clear
Answers entered my head thick and fast
It took ninety minutes then no more fear
As I put down my pen and relaxed at last
And then I realised, the fool that I am
Next week I would have to do it all again
The following Tuesday, an English exam
Would put me once more through the same old pain.

The results arrived, my body was trembling
Mum opened the letter, a frown on her face
By now all my siblings were assembling
Mum smiled, “You’ve got a Grammar school place”
I felt so elated, no longer a dimwit
Mum folded the letter but looked unhappy
Then softly she said “We just can’t afford it”
So, it was off to the secondary modern for me.