The Itchy and Scratchy Show

The Itchy and Scratchy Show

In the dark dead of night as I lay in my bed
The strangest sensation is starting to spread.
It starts out as a creepy, crawly, teeny, tiny tickle
Then erupts into an irritating, skin consuming prickle.

OH MY GOSH!

A hundred thousand pin pricks are now bursting in my blood.
A tsunami of great magnitude, a twitchy itchy flood.
A trillion tiny spiderlings are now crawling through my veins
A million marching millipedes., It’s driving me insane!

A curse from the worlds’ worst witchiest witch
Results in the worlds’ worst itchiest itch!
My arms are on fire! I scratch and scratch…
And therein lies natures’ cruel, cold-hearted catch.

‘Cos the more you scratch, the more you itch.
What can I say ? ‘cept “ Ain’t life a bitch!”
My skins drying out, and so all too soon
I’ll look like a wrinkly, crinkly old prune.

What a terrible sight!  “Avert your eyes !”
This wizened old prune needs to moisturise.
So I’ll fettle this tickly, prickly old hag
With a twice daily rub down with an old oily rag!