The Mask

This is dedicated to everyone who wears glasses. No jars of jam were harmed !

The Mask

It started with a facemask and ended in A and E,
I was on a simple mission to get some things for tea.
Complying with directives, the edicts of the law,
to wear a cover for my face, from schnozzle to my jaw.

A law-abiding citizen you see!

I decided to go upmarket and opt for one in red,
complete with an abstract pattern and elastic round my head.
It looked on trend and funky, a little va -va –voom,
the perfect little number to add to my costume.

To the shop

I drove to my local grocers, a superstore in fact,
with a list for my provisions, sixteen to be exact.
So I put on my new facemask and headed through the door,
It wasn’t long before the smog and I couldn’t see the floor.

Oh No!

My glasses misted in a haze, I was stumbling like clown
crashing round in utter fug, staggering round and round!
The mask had caused a fog to form and now I couldn’t see,
It wasn’t long before the smash and mayhem caused by me.

The crash!

I was sitting in this sea of jam; many jars around my feet,
pickled onions sailed on by and pots of sweet mincemeat.
the aisle were covered in sticky gunk, the store in disarray,
because I wore my fine new mask and visited them on that day.

Headache?

I staggered to my wobbly feet, now woozy from the crash,
an ambulance was on the scene quicker than a flash.
Now looking like a large preserve, all sticky red and sweet
the paramedics wheeled me out covered in a sheet.

What next?

So bundled off to hospital to check my poor old head,
they stifled any sickly jokes as I stuck to their clean bed.
Still wearing my red facemask we made the grand ingress,
we found a quiet partition where I could then undress.

Very Funny!

I’m now at home without my mask, relaxing in the chair,
the ordeal of this awful day, a fading bad nightmare.
With chilled white wine within hand and my scrumptious take away,
this will help alleviate a singularly dreadful day!

Ah!

Teresa Harrison-Best

© July 2020

About the author

Teresa H-B
2602 Up Votes
Happily married with three grown up children. Proud grandmother to six and enjoying every minute. I had my first book published several years ago called Catawall, fluent in feline. Recently I had a children's book published, Mackerel and the Jolly Daisy, scourge of the high seas, published by i2i Publishing, I am a prolific writer about many things and often post on both my own FB page and the FB page for Catawall. I am a great advocate for animals and anyone less fortunate than myself.

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Teresa H-B would love your feedback, please leave your comments below:

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Tina1960
8th Aug 2020
0
Thanks for voting!
Wonderful poem. Really made my week. Thank you. Reminded me of the inimitable Pam Ayres. Well done.
Kes
6th Aug 2020
0
Thanks for voting!
Terrific poem Teresa. Thankfully, I’ve found a way to keep the mist from forming on my lenses, so I think the shop shelves are safe, for now.
0
Thanks for voting!
Very amusing as always Teresa - I am sure this will resonate with our community who share the challenge of steamed up glasses as well! 🙂

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