This is dedicated to everyone who wears glasses. No jars of jam were harmed !
It started with a facemask and ended in A and E,
I was on a simple mission to get some things for tea.
Complying with directives, the edicts of the law,
to wear a cover for my face, from schnozzle to my jaw.
A law-abiding citizen you see!
I decided to go upmarket and opt for one in red,
complete with an abstract pattern and elastic round my head.
It looked on trend and funky, a little va -va –voom,
the perfect little number to add to my costume.
To the shop
I drove to my local grocers, a superstore in fact,
with a list for my provisions, sixteen to be exact.
So I put on my new facemask and headed through the door,
It wasn’t long before the smog and I couldn’t see the floor.
My glasses misted in a haze, I was stumbling like clown
crashing round in utter fug, staggering round and round!
The mask had caused a fog to form and now I couldn’t see,
It wasn’t long before the smash and mayhem caused by me.
I was sitting in this sea of jam; many jars around my feet,
pickled onions sailed on by and pots of sweet mincemeat.
the aisle were covered in sticky gunk, the store in disarray,
because I wore my fine new mask and visited them on that day.
I staggered to my wobbly feet, now woozy from the crash,
an ambulance was on the scene quicker than a flash.
Now looking like a large preserve, all sticky red and sweet
the paramedics wheeled me out covered in a sheet.
So bundled off to hospital to check my poor old head,
they stifled any sickly jokes as I stuck to their clean bed.
Still wearing my red facemask we made the grand ingress,
we found a quiet partition where I could then undress.
I’m now at home without my mask, relaxing in the chair,
the ordeal of this awful day, a fading bad nightmare.
With chilled white wine within hand and my scrumptious take away,
this will help alleviate a singularly dreadful day!
© July 2020
Teresa H-B would love your feedback, please leave your comments below:
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