The Mask

This is dedicated to everyone who wears glasses. No jars of jam were harmed !

The Mask

It started with a facemask and ended in A and E,
I was on a simple mission to get some things for tea.
Complying with directives, the edicts of the law,
to wear a cover for my face, from schnozzle to my jaw.

A law-abiding citizen you see!

I decided to go upmarket and opt for one in red,
complete with an abstract pattern and elastic round my head.
It looked on trend and funky, a little va -va –voom,
the perfect little number to add to my costume.

To the shop

I drove to my local grocers, a superstore in fact,
with a list for my provisions, sixteen to be exact.
So I put on my new facemask and headed through the door,
It wasn’t long before the smog and I couldn’t see the floor.

Oh No!

My glasses misted in a haze, I was stumbling like clown
crashing round in utter fug, staggering round and round!
The mask had caused a fog to form and now I couldn’t see,
It wasn’t long before the smash and mayhem caused by me.

The crash!

I was sitting in this sea of jam; many jars around my feet,
pickled onions sailed on by and pots of sweet mincemeat.
the aisle were covered in sticky gunk, the store in disarray,
because I wore my fine new mask and visited them on that day.


I staggered to my wobbly feet, now woozy from the crash,
an ambulance was on the scene quicker than a flash.
Now looking like a large preserve, all sticky red and sweet
the paramedics wheeled me out covered in a sheet.

What next?

So bundled off to hospital to check my poor old head,
they stifled any sickly jokes as I stuck to their clean bed.
Still wearing my red facemask we made the grand ingress,
we found a quiet partition where I could then undress.

Very Funny!

I’m now at home without my mask, relaxing in the chair,
the ordeal of this awful day, a fading bad nightmare.
With chilled white wine within hand and my scrumptious take away,
this will help alleviate a singularly dreadful day!


Teresa Harrison-Best

© July 2020

About the author

Teresa H-B
2602 Up Votes
Happily married with three grown up children. Proud grandmother to six and enjoying every minute. I had my first book published several years ago called Catawall, fluent in feline. Recently I had a children's book published, Mackerel and the Jolly Daisy, scourge of the high seas, published by i2i Publishing, I am a prolific writer about many things and often post on both my own FB page and the FB page for Catawall. I am a great advocate for animals and anyone less fortunate than myself.

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Teresa H-B would love your feedback, please leave your comments below:

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8th Aug 2020
Thanks for voting!
Wonderful poem. Really made my week. Thank you. Reminded me of the inimitable Pam Ayres. Well done.
6th Aug 2020
Thanks for voting!
Terrific poem Teresa. Thankfully, I’ve found a way to keep the mist from forming on my lenses, so I think the shop shelves are safe, for now.
Thanks for voting!
Very amusing as always Teresa - I am sure this will resonate with our community who share the challenge of steamed up glasses as well! 🙂

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