The Weighing Scales

The Weighing Scales

I feel there is collusion, a conspiracy going on,
my weight is now the target and there’s something clearly wrong.
The scales are set against me in a plot to undermine.
they’re telling me I’m heavier and it’s happening all the time.

And then..

Now adding salt to injury, my clothes are in cahoots.
the only thing that seems to fit are slippers and my boots.
Someone is behind this, all my garments have been shrunk,
they’ve meddled with my outfits, implying I’m a chunk.

Suspicions aroused..

The bathroom scales are sabotaged, they’re up by thirty pounds,
I’m sure each time I step on them I hear a clunking sound.
So consigned now to the dustbin the scales are now condemned,
I’m ordering some new ones, lets see what they will send!

A few days later..

I’ve got myself some brand new scales, the hottest of their kind.
now standing on the bathroom scales buck naked, yet refined.
I’m certain that the weight displayed will be right on the nail,
all the lies and misconceptions will finally curtailed.

And then!!

They’ve joined this grand conspiracy to say I’ve gained more weight,
they’re going back right now, forthwith, they’re clearly second rate!
Maybe I need some digital scales I think I’ll order those,
the ‘bees knees’ of all the scales, everybody knows.

Delivery Day

The digital scales have been unpacked and it’s the point of no return
I’ve gingerly placed one foot on top to see what I can learn.
Suddenly they flashed and banged and made a wailing squeal,
I’ve had enough of bathroom scales, the anguish and ordeal.

Finally

I’m wearing kaftans and sarongs, I’m done with weighing scales,
the last ones sitting in the pond residing there with snails.
The notion that I’ve gained more weight is ridiculous and absurd,
It’s conspiratorial nonsense and I’ll have the final word!

Teresa Harrison-Best

28thApril 2020

About the author

Teresa H-B
2402 Up Votes
Happily married with three grown up children. Proud grandmother to six and enjoying every minute. I had my first book published several years ago called Catawall, fluent in feline. Recently I had a children's book published, Mackerel and the Jolly Daisy, scourge of the high seas, published by i2i Publishing, I am a prolific writer about many things and often post on both my own FB page and the FB page for Catawall. I am a great advocate for animals and anyone less fortunate than myself.

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Wilf
14th Jun 2020
1
Thanks for voting!
Fantastic poem and made me laugh
Dafne
14th Jun 2020
1
Thanks for voting!
Brilliant poem. I loved reading it and smiled all the way through. I always found that mirrors in changing rooms made me look bigger than I really am, but I guess we won't have that problem now we are not to be allowed to try on clothes in shops !
TracyBenham
14th Jun 2020
1
Thanks for voting!
Great poem, my scales were thrown away ages ago certainly won’t be getting mew ones anytime soon
Silversurfer9
2nd Jun 2020
2
Thanks for voting!
1
Thanks for voting!
I made the mistake of jumping on the scales this morning - lockdown has not been kind! 🙂

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