The Weighing Scales

The Weighing Scales

I feel there is collusion, a conspiracy going on,
my weight is now the target and there’s something clearly wrong.
The scales are set against me in a plot to undermine.
they’re telling me I’m heavier and it’s happening all the time.

And then..

Now adding salt to injury, my clothes are in cahoots.
the only thing that seems to fit are slippers and my boots.
Someone is behind this, all my garments have been shrunk,
they’ve meddled with my outfits, implying I’m a chunk.

Suspicions aroused..

The bathroom scales are sabotaged, they’re up by thirty pounds,
I’m sure each time I step on them I hear a clunking sound.
So consigned now to the dustbin the scales are now condemned,
I’m ordering some new ones, lets see what they will send!

A few days later..

I’ve got myself some brand new scales, the hottest of their kind.
now standing on the bathroom scales buck naked, yet refined.
I’m certain that the weight displayed will be right on the nail,
all the lies and misconceptions will finally curtailed.

And then!!

They’ve joined this grand conspiracy to say I’ve gained more weight,
they’re going back right now, forthwith, they’re clearly second rate!
Maybe I need some digital scales I think I’ll order those,
the ‘bees knees’ of all the scales, everybody knows.

Delivery Day

The digital scales have been unpacked and it’s the point of no return
I’ve gingerly placed one foot on top to see what I can learn.
Suddenly they flashed and banged and made a wailing squeal,
I’ve had enough of bathroom scales, the anguish and ordeal.

Finally

I’m wearing kaftans and sarongs, I’m done with weighing scales,
the last ones sitting in the pond residing there with snails.
The notion that I’ve gained more weight is ridiculous and absurd,
It’s conspiratorial nonsense and I’ll have the final word!

Teresa Harrison-Best

28^thApril 2020