The Wild Goose Chase

The Wild Goose Chase

I used to be quite placid with the patience of a saint,
but now I sit here rocking with a neighbourhood restraint.
It started with a lovely pond and manicured grass lawn,
because of him I’m sitting here despondent and forlorn.

What happened then?

It was early in the morning on a Sunday back in June,
I noticed out my window that my flowers were bestrewn.
the perpetrator came into view, a big old goose was he,
he was chomping happily at my plants was what I came to see.

Then what happened?

Well, I ran out with my kitchen broom to chase him off with haste,
he stood there like matador with a look that was barefaced.
No, this bird was here to stay and no broom would alter that,
with honk and hiss he squared me up, ready for combat.

What did you do?

To save my garden was the plan, so I gave a battle cry,
he flapped his wings for his assault and looked me in the eye.
He sped towards me in a charge; the war was on the way,
now neighbours lined the garden fence to watch the great affray!

And then?

We got embroiled and rolled around the garden like a ball,
with feathers flying everywhere and some shrieking I recall.
Next came law enforcement to keep the peace once more,
they pulled us both apart with haste and pushed me to the floor.

Then what?

The goose was shepherded off the lawn, and then he waddled on his way,
I was handcuffed on a charge of cruelty and affray.
No amount of pleading helped my case; I was clearly banged to rights,
the charge was certainly short and sweet, ‘behaviour that incites’.

The verdict

The judge was totally unimpressed to any plead I gave,
he served me with a hefty fine and told me to behave.
I was warned to leave the goose alone he made his thoughts quite clear,
No matter what the gander did I was not to venture near.

And now!

It’s not the goose that wanders there across my fine green lawn,
he’s invited all his family too from evening dusk to dawn.
So here I sit and watch them all as they churn up my sweet grass,
C’est la vie I tell myself as I watch the gaggle pass.

I think I’ll build a lake!

Teresa Harrison –Best (Revised © 2021 )

Please don’t judge me as this is totally fictional

About the author

Teresa H-B
2755 Up Votes
Happily married with three grown up children. Proud grandmother to six and enjoying every minute. I had my first book published several years ago called Catawall, fluent in feline. Recently I had a children's book published, Mackerel and the Jolly Daisy, scourge of the high seas, published by i2i Publishing, I am a prolific writer about many things and often post on both my own FB page and the FB page for Catawall. I am a great advocate for animals and anyone less fortunate than myself.

More from Teresa H-B

I Hate Housework
Can you relate to this? I hate housework I’m bored of cleaning windows and I’ve had...
Read More
Mr and Mrs Steady
I hope this gives you a laugh as I had a ball writing it! Happy New Year! Mr and Mrs...
Read More
It Started with a Bang!
 It Started With A Bang!   The meal was planned and...
Read More
Christmas with the pets
Hopefully this will make you giggle! xx   Christmas with the pets!...
Read More
If you enjoyed reading this, show your appreciation to the author with a thumbs up! 4

Teresa H-B would love your feedback, please leave your comments below:

Not a member?

You need to be a member to interact with Silversurfers. Joining is free and simple to do. Click the button below to join today!

Click here if you have forgotten your password
13th Jan 2021
Thanks for voting!
A great tale Teresa.

Community Terms & Conditions

Content standards

These content standards apply to any and all material which you contribute to our site (contributions), and to any interactive services associated with it.

You must comply with the spirit of the following standards as well as the letter. The standards apply to each part of any contribution as well as to its whole.

Contributions must:

be accurate (where they state facts); be genuinely held (where they state opinions); and comply with applicable law in the UK and in any country from which they are posted.

Contributions must not:

contain any material which is defamatory of any person; or contain any material which is obscene, offensive, hateful or inflammatory; or promote sexually explicit material; or promote violence; promote discrimination based on race, sex, religion, nationality, disability, sexual orientation or age; or infringe any copyright, database right or trade mark of any other person; or be likely to deceive any person; or be made in breach of any legal duty owed to a third party, such as a contractual duty or a duty of confidence; or promote any illegal activity; or be threatening, abuse or invade another’s privacy, or cause annoyance, inconvenience or needless anxiety; or be likely to harass, upset, embarrass, alarm or annoy any other person; or be used to impersonate any person, or to misrepresent your identity or affiliation with any person; or give the impression that they emanate from us, if this is not the case; or advocate, promote or assist any unlawful act such as (by way of example only) copyright infringement or computer misuse.

Nurturing a safe environment

Our Silversurfers community is designed to foster friendships, based on trust, honesty, integrity and loyalty and is underpinned by these values.

We don't tolerate swearing, and reserve the right to remove any posts which we feel may offend others... let's keep it friendly!

Showcase your literature

Not a member?

You need to be a member to interact with Silversurfers. Joining is free and simple to do. Click the button below to join today!

Click here if you have forgotten your password
Click here to visit the showcase home page