View comments by: Most Recent - first / last | Most Popular - first / last | Replies - hide / show

All new to this

Hi I have just joined this group. I am hoping to reach out to like minded people to help with my loneliness.


A bit about myself. I was widowed two years ago and I am still devastated and can’t see a way forward.


I have just turned 63 and still working.


Created By on 10/05/2020

Not a member?

You need to be a member to interact with Silversurfers. Joining is free and simple to do. Click the button below to join today!

Reebe
28th Sep 2020 09:43:54 (Last activity: 21st Oct 2020 20:17:56)
0
Thanks for voting!
Good morning, I am experiencing loneliness due to this confounded Pandemic. I live alone, split from my partner last year, I am mid 60s, still working part time.

I try to stay positive but it is difficult sometimes, hence, I too am now reaching out to broaden my horizons and take up chatting over the airwaves.

I love to get out for walks, also, messing about in the garden - I say that as I try but am not the best at it! Meeting up with friends/relatives lifts the spirits and helps me to keep abreast of what's happening locally and personally, it also allows me/us, the opportunity of trying to put the world to rights within our bubble!!. It is hard when your family are physically distant (as are mine), and so, it's even tougher now as these outings are curtailed, we are not allowed to meet up in each others homes/gardens presently due to newly imposed restrictions due to rise in infections in this area.

Here's to a vaccine, a longed for saviour for so many people's mental health and wellbeing as well as their physical health.
Response from Kid made on 21st Oct 2020 20:17:56
Hello Reebe, I too am mid sixtys 66 to be exact but like to think young at heart.I have to remind my body at times though.I hope you are keeping safe and well the days sometimes are really long. I haven't been anywhere since March so at times you feel as though your going mad.I have two sons and am married fourty years just had my Ruby anniversary.but for a long time have thought about being single again but never had the nerve to do anything about it.I do gardening though it's turning a bit cold now I,be planted some winter flowering pansies in hanging baskets and bulbs so hope fingers crossed I also enjoy reading and crafting anything to keep busy.Im at the moment knitting I've done knitting since I was really young sometimes I wish I could crochet it's a lot quicker Well that's about about me we're abouts are you? Look forward to hearing from you Linda
SallyM14
30th Aug 2020 12:34:40
1
Thanks for voting!
You will be okay. I was widowed years ago. I still have an empty crate stuffed with cotton located between my head and heart. You learn to live with it. Once in a while, I remove the cotton and examine the emptiness. It never completely heals but it is manageable. Stay in the "here and now" and it will heal as much a possible.
CatherineM1
21st Aug 2020 11:54:34 (Last activity: 21st Aug 2020 22:47:35)
1
Thanks for voting!
Hi, I am 67, luckily working full time as I was widowed 3 months ago and have lost all sense of purpose in my life. I have children to visit but I have still have to go home at night. I used to be so active we used to be out all the time. I am sorry to hear that after 2 years still no better x
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 21st Aug 2020 13:02:39
Hi CatherineM1,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

Response from Dinabob4 made on 21st Aug 2020 22:38:55 > @Sally - Silversurfer's Editor
Just filling in this box to get a reply box to Catherine M1
Response from Dinabob4 made on 21st Aug 2020 22:47:35
Hi Catherine M1
i am sorry to hear you have been widowed just 3 months ago? How are you getting on.

3 months is such early days. You might be a bit stronger in 6 -12 months but of course everyone grieves differently and it is gradual and there is no right or wrong. I am sure you could try to build a life in time just to give you some hope, it takes time to find some purpose again but you can.

Do you find that working full time helps give you something to focus on? or is it a struggle. I am glad you have your children. Coming home to the house will get easier in time.
kaw
7th Jun 2020 12:56:13 (Last activity: 7th Jun 2020 13:03:39)
0
Thanks for voting!
hello , just joined the group, anyone like a good chat.
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 7th Jun 2020 13:03:02
Hi kaw,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

Response from Wilf made on 7th Jun 2020 13:03:39
Hi Kaw, Welcome to Silversurfers. Lots of friendly folks on here. Where are you from?
Beatrice27
3rd Jun 2020 08:31:18
0
Thanks for voting!
Hi Zena so sorry to hear of the passing of your husband.
As others has said, you are reaching out by joining this website,
i will keep a look out for your posts.
I am enjoying the fresh breeze which comes through my window, after the heat of yesterday.
Personally, i am now a retired person, and had a lovely walk in the local park with a former work colleague, (the park is environmental now and so peaceful)

All the best
countryrowe
22nd May 2020 17:07:04 (Last activity: 23rd May 2020 23:13:05)
0
Thanks for voting!
My Dear Zena,
Sorry to hear of your loss, try not to dwell too much as things do get better as life goes on I promise you, I am also a newcomer to these forums and am glad that you have reached out here, we are all of a retired or semi-retired age some of us have worked all our lives and still ended up with no one to care for in later life, but we have a lot more to give, and to receive in these days. Not like the old days when once your partner left you were left alone for the rest of your life with no one daring to approach you to give comfort or a kind word.

If you feel like it, then give me a shout (Please don't think that the photo is really me, it was something I was playing with on my phone.
David.
Response from zenagriffithshotmailcom Original Poster made on 23rd May 2020 23:13:05
Thank you for your kinds words. It does feel that now I’m on the rubbish heap and every day just plodding on and for what.
I loved my husband very much and we had so much planned. Life is not fair
Zena
eileen54
10th May 2020 22:23:00 (Last activity: 20th May 2020 12:41:50)
2
Thanks for voting!
hi I just joined too - I am sorry you have been widowed so early on in life but good for you e reaching out - I will keep eye open for your chats
take care
Response from zenagriffithshotmailcom Original Poster made on 20th May 2020 12:41:50
Thankyou. I hoping to find some friends on here who will not judge!
Furl
11th May 2020 11:11:22 (Last activity: 20th May 2020 12:40:02)
1
Thanks for voting!
Hello, I've just joined too, saw your message and just wanted to say there is hope although times we know are more difficult at the moment. I've been a widow for 5 years, after 2+ years I turned 70 and decided to try for a new life.
Since then life has been happy and sad again, but now looking forward to a new life with an old friend. Any new life will include ups and downs, but there are many people looking for friendship or love.
That's enough from me, good luck and keep strong.
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 11th May 2020 12:15:50
Hi Furl,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

Response from Dachmum made on 11th May 2020 12:22:58
Thanks, I feel that I have to move on which is what I am doing this week, I know the road will have its up and downs, but hopefully more ups gradually as I get on with my new life. It is just lovely to feel that there is someone out there that I can let off my feeling to. It is harder when you have been married for so long, it is 55 years this year, and last year he walked out on us when we should have been celebrating. As you said, 'things can only get better'
Response from zenagriffithshotmailcom Original Poster made on 20th May 2020 12:40:02
Thankyou Furl. I am not a strong person but just gets through each day the best I can but can’t see a future for myself especially on my own. I’m pleased that you are finding life better now
Mitch706
16th May 2020 19:36:38 (Last activity: 20th May 2020 12:36:44)
0
Thanks for voting!
Keep working! I'll give you a reason to keep going. Plus you can meet more people and people have a way of finding each other.
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 16th May 2020 22:43:56
Hi Mitch706,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

Response from zenagriffithshotmailcom Original Poster made on 20th May 2020 12:36:44
Thankyou for your message. I am currently on furlough and when time is right and if the business I work for is still going I will go back to work. I left the place I was working when I lost my husband because they were being unfair. Where I work now is with friends of my late husband so I have some support there. I think that I cant see a life on my own
naiad
15th May 2020 19:40:11 (Last activity: 15th May 2020 19:51:25)
1
Thanks for voting!
Someone recommended this outlet, I am self isolating being int the vulnerable over 70 s.. I would like a male friend to email. I love classical music and play the piano by ear...... I am a widow, Naiad
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 15th May 2020 19:51:25
Hi naiad,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

Dachmum
11th May 2020 10:14:17 (Last activity: 12th May 2020 09:28:28)
0
Thanks for voting!
My husband has not died, but had a breakdown last year, just after I lost my Dachshund. I fought to bring my husband home from hospital, but things have not worked out so I am now going away to recover myself from the grief I am feeling at the moment. I feel there is no one in the world for me at the moment, yes I am full of self pity, but over the months I have had broken promises, not just from my husband but also our daughter, and have ruined my relationship with both her and our only grandchild.
Maybe I am selfish running away, but it is my health and sanity I am thinking of at the moment, and the well-being of my two Dachsies.
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 11th May 2020 12:15:58
Hi Dachmum,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

Response from Furl made on 11th May 2020 17:49:11
Hi, that is all hard to get through. Just wish you the best for each day, I also lost my Border terrier not that long ago, it's hard to adjust to the absence of such a loyal friend. Take care and best of wishes.
Response from Dachmum made on 12th May 2020 09:28:28 > @Furl
Thanks for taking the trouble to reply, yes I am feeling very sorry for myself, but you cheered me up considerably. Sorry to hear you also lost a very loved little dog recently. I miss my little man every day, likewise his lifelong partner also misses him. Thanks and take care.
fernwalker12
11th May 2020 01:41:24
1
Thanks for voting!
I lost someone involved in an accident. The pain of suddenly losing him was terrible. I wanted that pain to end and found healthy ways to move forward. When I joined a grieving site on the Internet, that was very helpful. One woman was especially helpful when I read her post that said her husband had been gone 7 years and she still hadn’t moved forward and that she was still suffering. Honestly, my first thought when I read that was quite fierce - “ There is no way in Hell that I am going to allow myself to keep on suffering like that!” My second thought was that I was going to seek ways to heal so that terrible pain would end. I found ways to heal, and as time passed that horrible pain finally went away. You can heal too, if that’s a choice you make.

Community Terms & Conditions

Content standards

These content standards apply to any and all material which you contribute to our site (contributions), and to any interactive services associated with it.

You must comply with the spirit of the following standards as well as the letter. The standards apply to each part of any contribution as well as to its whole.

Contributions must:

be accurate (where they state facts); be genuinely held (where they state opinions); and comply with applicable law in the UK and in any country from which they are posted.

Contributions must not:

contain any material which is defamatory of any person; or contain any material which is obscene, offensive, hateful or inflammatory; or promote sexually explicit material; or promote violence; promote discrimination based on race, sex, religion, nationality, disability, sexual orientation or age; or infringe any copyright, database right or trade mark of any other person; or be likely to deceive any person; or be made in breach of any legal duty owed to a third party, such as a contractual duty or a duty of confidence; or promote any illegal activity; or be threatening, abuse or invade another’s privacy, or cause annoyance, inconvenience or needless anxiety; or be likely to harass, upset, embarrass, alarm or annoy any other person; or be used to impersonate any person, or to misrepresent your identity or affiliation with any person; or give the impression that they emanate from us, if this is not the case; or advocate, promote or assist any unlawful act such as (by way of example only) copyright infringement or computer misuse.

Nurturing a safe environment

Our Silversurfers community is designed to foster friendships, based on trust, honesty, integrity and loyalty and is underpinned by these values.

We don't tolerate swearing, and reserve the right to remove any posts which we feel may offend others... let's keep it friendly!