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Aspergers Syndrome

It would be helpful if anyone has or has had a partner or relative with Aspergers, its affect and how you coped. I remarried very late in life not being aware there was a possibility of my husband having Aspergers. I understand there are many symptoms and, unfortunately, the ones affecting my husband broke the marriage after only seven years. Now living alone and still loving him, I sometimes feel guilty that I couldn't cope and many times question if I should have been able to help more. I'm so interested to know the affect this problem has had on others.


Created By on 21/12/2016

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jeanmark
21st Dec 2016 16:21:24 (Last activity: 22nd Dec 2016 15:01:17)
0
Thanks for voting!
I have a great-nephew with the condition and I understand there are different levels. He worked hard to overcome problems, he believes exacerbated by being Gay, and graduated with a degree this year and found good employment immediately. He does appear to be a little confused at times when unable to relate to some people and is certainly very self-centred, although always in the company of attractive young women. I am immensely proud of him and his achievements. Particularly as he was frequently taken away from his mother (my niece) when young as she was a heroin addict. Both have survived and are now thriving and continue to have a very good relationship with each other.

I don't think you should feel guilty at finding yourself in a situation you hadn't anticipated or had experience of and thus felt unable to cope. As you continue to have deep feelings for him, there may be organisations that could give you more insight and support to help with understanding.
Response from Robanpen Original Poster made on 22nd Dec 2016 08:05:53
How lovely for your great nephew to have made such a success particularly having had such a difficult start in life. I'm assuming he was diagnosed with Aspergers. It's such a pity my husband never was, but in his childhood (he's 78 now) Aspergers was probably unheard of.

Life was dire with him but the occasional guilt stems from parting from a man who had no idea what was wrong. I will look for organisations connected as you suggested. Many thanks for replying.
Response from jeanmark made on 22nd Dec 2016 15:01:17
Yes, he was officially diagnosed whilst still young, probably because of his mothers problems and that diagnoses was helpfully with schooling. He took an extra year to get the relevant A levels for entry into University and has had good support at all levels.

I think there are many people like your ex-husband who probably were not diagnosed sufficiently to get the help needed. If I recall correctly Aspergers was first separated as a sub-section of Autism in 1944 but there still appears to be confusion regarding the condition.

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