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Bloopers from church notice boards.

Those wonderful Church Bulletins!

These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

  • The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

  • The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water. The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus.

  • Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

  • Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.

  • Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

  • Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

  • For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

  • Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

  • Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

  • A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

  • At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.

  • Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

  • Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

  • Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

  • The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

  • This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

  • Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.

  • The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

  • Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

  • The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

  • Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

  • The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday:"I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."

Created By on 03/11/2016

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17th Jan 2021 08:52:52
Thanks for voting!
A church placard in Leeds read "If you are tired of a life of sin and degradation, step inside".
Underneath someone had written "If you are not phone Leeds 7583........."
17th Jan 2021 09:05:53
Thanks for voting!
Sudden prayers make God jump.
25th Jul 2020 01:03:51
Thanks for voting!
Hi Reggie12345, I'm an open mined man but didn't understand why my friends wife burst out laughing when I told him about my wife, I said,

I'm beginning to think my wife has given me the new nick name of Shaw, Well I think so, it's because every time she speaks to me these days she says, " It's Shaw fault",

14th Apr 2020 15:38:55 (Last activity: 14th Apr 2020 18:58:30)
Thanks for voting!
THANK YOU - I laughed so hard! Being told to stay indoors, although I'm 83 and in good health, this was the crowning blow after being sole caretaker for my husband for the past 4 1/2 years. Tom did die and I was looking forward to getting out. So once again thanks for this - laughter is great medicine!
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 14th Apr 2020 18:58:30
Hi reggie12345,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

3rd Nov 2016 19:23:45
Thanks for voting!
Made me smile, thank you.
3rd Nov 2016 09:33:22
Thanks for voting!
Lol, yes some good ones in there,!
3rd Nov 2016 09:06:18
Thanks for voting!
very funny Grayson. Thank you

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