View comments by: Most Recent - first / last | Most Popular - first / last | Replies - hide / show

Broken relationship

I have joined this group to see if there are people in the same or similar situation to me who are happy to discuss it. About 22 years ago there was a change in our relationship.


For the past 12 years, we have slept in separate rooms and all physical contact ceased. There is a lot more complexity to this, and I have no way of talking to anyone about it. Can anybody?


Created By on 21/11/2021

Not a member?

You need to be a member to interact with Silversurfers. Joining is free and simple to do. Click the button below to join today!

HelenJ65
7th Nov 2023 17:33:54 (Last activity: 17th Dec 2023 21:18:51)
0
Thanks for voting!
I am in the same position.my husband has recently retired and I can be at home with him all day and he doesn't even speak to me.i have come to the conclusion I am just his housekeeper if I had somewhere to go I think I would leave.the only company I have are my 3 border terriers but the conversation is only one way i am very unhappy
Response from Paul65 made on 17th Dec 2023 21:05:11
Hi @HelenJ65, I am sorry to hear that you are so unhappy. I separated from wife of 30 plus years 2 years ago because I had strong suspicions that she was being unfaithful. I'm sorry to say that my suspicions were recently confirmed, and I am in a dark place at the moment. I wish my wife had spoken to me, but she never did, even though I repeatedly asked her to. For this reason I would suggest telling your husband how you are feeling. He may not change, but you will at least have given him the opportunity to.
Response from HelenJ65 made on 17th Dec 2023 21:18:51
Thanks Paul65 for your comment it is much appreciated. I will think about what you said
ReportAdd a Comment Reply to HelenJ65
LivinLife
30th Oct 2022 15:42:13 (Last activity: 7th Nov 2023 17:35:21)
0
Thanks for voting!
Hi Ziggiehr
I can fully appreciate your concern. I’ve been married for 57 years and 40+ have been loveless with no passion or intimacy. Recently, a long term medical condition was corrected by an incredible doctor. I’m now looking towards the future and wondering how do I change from continuing the past. I’m now seeing a therapist to clearly identify the path forward. Is it going in my own direction, is it leaving or is it finding a friend with benefits? I don’t know yet.
Response from Lovelaughing made on 30th Apr 2023 08:15:20
Hi .. I'm in the same position. Wish it was an easy decision to make.
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 30th Apr 2023 08:36:15 > @Lovelaughing
Hi Lovelaughing,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

Response from HelenJ65 made on 7th Nov 2023 17:35:21 > @Lovelaughing
Me to I am very unhappy
ReportAdd a Comment Reply to LivinLife
Lanaloo1
16th Dec 2022 00:02:07 (Last activity: 23rd May 2023 19:14:47)
0
Thanks for voting!
My husband and I sleep in separate room, Watch separate TVs and eat together occasionally. No affection at all. Unless I agree with him most conversations end in an argument…, it is miserable but financially in no position to leave.
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 16th Dec 2022 08:42:36
Hi Lanaloo1,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

Response from LivinLife made on 30th Apr 2023 17:34:19
Your story mirrors mine. Separate activities, separate TVs, arguments, finances, etc. If you know a solution please let me know!
Response from Joanne13618 made on 23rd May 2023 19:14:47
I left a similar situation. Started over again after 34 yrs. It's been tough. Staying would have been tougher. Loneliness, financial worries. Still on my own. He became difficult to live with and long story short, basically denied me access to the outside world. I had no choice. So here i am. It has taken me six years to find a decent job. Still trying to figure out the dating thing. There are no answers. Hang in there. That is all there is. You never know when things can turn around on you.
ReportAdd a Comment Reply to Lanaloo1
Brooke0110
16th Mar 2023 05:22:40
0
Thanks for voting!
It's understandable that you might feel isolated and alone in dealing with this situation. However, there are various avenues for you to seek help and support. Have you considered reaching out to a professional counselor or therapist who can provide you with a safe and confidential space to discuss your feelings and work through any challenges you are facing? A trained therapist can offer valuable insight and perspective that can help you navigate your current situation. Try to warm up romantic interest, order an unexpected flower delivery for a woman, or cook a romantic dinner for a man. I believe that you can revive interest in each other if you try very hard.
ReportAdd a Comment Reply to Brooke0110
Pinktips
30th Sep 2022 21:11:21 (Last activity: 1st Oct 2022 10:16:20)
0
Thanks for voting!
No. You’re fine get going! Hey
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 1st Oct 2022 10:16:20
Hi Pinktips,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

ReportAdd a Comment Reply to Pinktips

Community Terms & Conditions

Content standards

These content standards apply to any and all material which you contribute to our site (contributions), and to any interactive services associated with it.

You must comply with the spirit of the following standards as well as the letter. The standards apply to each part of any contribution as well as to its whole.

Contributions must:

be accurate (where they state facts); be genuinely held (where they state opinions); and comply with applicable law in the UK and in any country from which they are posted.

Contributions must not:

contain any material which is defamatory of any person; or contain any material which is obscene, offensive, hateful or inflammatory; or promote sexually explicit material; or promote violence; promote discrimination based on race, sex, religion, nationality, disability, sexual orientation or age; or infringe any copyright, database right or trade mark of any other person; or be likely to deceive any person; or be made in breach of any legal duty owed to a third party, such as a contractual duty or a duty of confidence; or promote any illegal activity; or be threatening, abuse or invade another’s privacy, or cause annoyance, inconvenience or needless anxiety; or be likely to harass, upset, embarrass, alarm or annoy any other person; or be used to impersonate any person, or to misrepresent your identity or affiliation with any person; or give the impression that they emanate from us, if this is not the case; or advocate, promote or assist any unlawful act such as (by way of example only) copyright infringement or computer misuse.

Nurturing a safe environment

Our Silversurfers community is designed to foster friendships, based on trust, honesty, integrity and loyalty and is underpinned by these values.

We don't tolerate swearing, and reserve the right to remove any posts which we feel may offend others... let's keep it friendly!