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How can I make 'real' friends

Hello there. My question is, how can I make 'real' friends. I've done all the normally suggested things - I do voluntary work, go to the gym, I'm a member of several MeetUp groups, I walk my dogs etc etc and I have lots of people I talk to or say hello to- but I can't seem to get past superficial contact.


I miss having best friends that I could laugh with and go shopping or just a good gossip.


I'm only 53, yet I am basically on my own. I was widowed many years ago and lost my best friend this year. I feel so alone and isolated - nobody would notice if I just disappeared.


It scares me to think that I'm going to be on my own for the rest of my life.


Created By on 28/10/2018

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nsurf1
13th Apr 2019 20:58:33
1
Thanks for voting!
Hi there

I understand what you are feeling, I get those feelings sometimes. You clearly haven't given up and you shouldn't because you never know what is around the corner.

I came across this site and it looks great, with losts of topics to discuss and hopefully people will start chatting with someone they get along with and I'm sure friendships sometimes develop. Feel free to contact me to chat, or indeed anyone else who has responded to the post, as we all have some feelings in common which is a start. x
Maryodell
25th Dec 2018 22:42:00
1
Thanks for voting!
Hi there, believe me you are not alone in thinking the way you do, I have been there along with numerous other people. But first I want you to start and think about the freedom you have by being on your own (watch what you want on TV, go out where and when you want to, where what you want to and eat when and whatever you want) You may say what has that got to do with making friends well usually people who suddenly seek this find themselves in changed circumstances and a good starting point is to look for the benefits in this (whatever the reason) Because it creates confidence and once you realise just how strong you really are you impress other people and they will be more likely to want to be part of your circle. I know how difficult it is - you already do voluntary work so you meet all kinds of people, do you come across as the strong dependable person you really are, do you invite people for coffee/tea, do you offer to help with upcoming events? Do you ask and show interest about family? Most important and sometimes most difficult do you smile? Radiate that cheery personality, be someone that others can rely on and they will. Have a really good Christmas.
Pinky57
24th Dec 2018 13:00:22
0
Thanks for voting!
I too am in the same position, I do voluntary work and attend a quilting class and go to ladies group meetings, this are people i meet once a month or once a week but I long to have someone I can go shopping with or just have a coffee, I feel very lonely. I live in Surrey -would like to meet up if you are interested.
ElisaY
20th Nov 2018 20:11:27 (Last activity: 19th Dec 2018 12:24:50)
2
Thanks for voting!
Hi Doodledee l am in the same boat. I could disappear and l honestly don’t think that anyone outside my immediate family would notice. I am so incredibly lonely. I have done all the usual to make friends and nothing. Including meet-up groups. Anyone that meets me tells me l am lovely yet l have no one. I go everywhere alone.
It’s really depressing me.
Response from Ella M made on 19th Dec 2018 12:24:50
Hi Elisa,

I live in Londonand I'm looking for friends to go out with + on holiday. where do you live?

Regards

Ella M
Ella M
19th Dec 2018 12:21:21
0
Thanks for voting!
Hi, Porshae,

I live in London and I'm looking for friends to go out with + on holiday but I've had no luck so far.
Where do you live?

Regards

Ella M
Porshae
18th Dec 2018 03:25:16
0
Thanks for voting!
Hello
I am new on this site and have recently lost my husband leaving me on my own and very vonerable.
I have bought a Cockapoo to help me get out and about. Life seems very only.
Ella M
12th Dec 2018 11:41:49
0
Thanks for voting!
Hi Doodledee,

I live in London and I'm looking for friends to go out with.
Get in touch if you are interested.

Regards

Ella M
Suffragette
4th Nov 2018 20:54:46
1
Thanks for voting!
I have just joined this site and ploughing my way through. I find it difficult to make friends although I volunteer and belong to several groups. Is there anyone you see regularly who you can just ask if they fancy going for a coffee? I did this with one of my co volunteers and we made friends. She has a partner but we go out Saturdays as he likes his sport all day.
SilverBlue
1st Nov 2018 10:54:13
1
Thanks for voting!
Hi Doodledee

I can understand where you are coming from, its very difficult to make new friends who are good friends. I have found it very hard now I am on my own to make friends not just passing acquaintances. Have you looked on the internet there are social clubs for single people they are usually people in the same position who want to make friends.
Ella M
1st Nov 2018 10:42:19
0
Thanks for voting!
Hi Doodledee,

Where do you live?

Regards

Ella M

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