View comments by: Most Recent - first / last | Most Popular - first / last | Replies - hide / show

Caring for adult son

We have cared for our son for 20 years during a diagnosed severe mental illness. There has never been a day in that 20 years that we it has not infringed on our daily life and how we wished things could be different.


One of the main problems is his lack of insight and reasoning into his condition.


He has his own secure tenancy and when the Covid lockdown started we were left completely on our own to care for him. Even although my husband is over 70 and I have other health problems.


Because of his vulnerability and his disbelief in the pandemic he was a target for unsavoury people with no protection to visit his flat putting us in danger. It was inevitable he would need to be hospitalised which was horrific and he has been in a psychiatric unit for 5 months. It has now been suggested that they will let him home if we care for him but my husband and I have said we will only do it if we get the vaccine. We have been told we will not get it and it was even suggested by one doctor that we are being selfish to not do it and let him home.


What do others think?


Created By on 05/12/2020

Not a member?

You need to be a member to interact with Silversurfers. Joining is free and simple to do. Click the button below to join today!

Dan1956
19th Dec 2020 04:02:01 (Last activity: 19th Dec 2020 12:00:47)
0
Thanks for voting!
Hi,Dune My situation is somewhat similar. My son has been suffering from severe anxiety off and on about 10 years. Now has a daughter who lives with us . He is with us most of the time. I could go on for an hour. I am 64 my wife 62 . I would suggest is find a counselor which we did at the beginning and need to get back to.. One thing I would you say is don’t ever feel guilty. You have done more than any body could ask for and you need to take care of yourself.
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 19th Dec 2020 12:00:47
Hi Dan1956,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

Dune15 Original Poster
13th Dec 2020 15:05:04 (Last activity: 13th Dec 2020 23:47:13)
0
Thanks for voting!
Have now attended what was called a discharge meeting armed with a 2 page document outlining what we would need to be put in place to help him only to find that he is not getting discharged but transferred 30 miles away to an ancient closed ward in a psychiatric hospital and we were totally unprepared for this so reluctantly agreed and now we are not sure what we have done? If we had known we would have got some legal representation present for him. Its a first in all the 20 years that they even asked for our opinion.
We are heart broken. You cannot ever stop being a parent no matter how old they get. He is a highly gifted person academically and artistically and it is so sad that in this day and age that there are no better resources ti help him and us. They have recently done away with any out of hours support which is scandalous.too.
Response from ecarg made on 13th Dec 2020 23:47:13
Hi Dune
I am so sorry to hear what has happened regarding your son. I am not experienced enough to offer much advice only to say they will be an advocacy service in your area who would appointment an advocate to work on his behalf.
ecarg
10th Dec 2020 07:48:02
1
Thanks for voting!
I would speak to his housing association and social services to find out any sort of care package is available .You are right to consider your own health.
Apologies if you have done this already but like many issues its a post code lottery as to the support on offer.
I understand your difficulties and wish you all the best.

Community Terms & Conditions

Content standards

These content standards apply to any and all material which you contribute to our site (contributions), and to any interactive services associated with it.

You must comply with the spirit of the following standards as well as the letter. The standards apply to each part of any contribution as well as to its whole.

Contributions must:

be accurate (where they state facts); be genuinely held (where they state opinions); and comply with applicable law in the UK and in any country from which they are posted.

Contributions must not:

contain any material which is defamatory of any person; or contain any material which is obscene, offensive, hateful or inflammatory; or promote sexually explicit material; or promote violence; promote discrimination based on race, sex, religion, nationality, disability, sexual orientation or age; or infringe any copyright, database right or trade mark of any other person; or be likely to deceive any person; or be made in breach of any legal duty owed to a third party, such as a contractual duty or a duty of confidence; or promote any illegal activity; or be threatening, abuse or invade another’s privacy, or cause annoyance, inconvenience or needless anxiety; or be likely to harass, upset, embarrass, alarm or annoy any other person; or be used to impersonate any person, or to misrepresent your identity or affiliation with any person; or give the impression that they emanate from us, if this is not the case; or advocate, promote or assist any unlawful act such as (by way of example only) copyright infringement or computer misuse.

Nurturing a safe environment

Our Silversurfers community is designed to foster friendships, based on trust, honesty, integrity and loyalty and is underpinned by these values.

We don't tolerate swearing, and reserve the right to remove any posts which we feel may offend others... let's keep it friendly!