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caring for an aged parent

Hi to all. I have just joined and am a full time carer for my mother who is 87 and is high care. My social life is just about non existent I retried 1 1/2 years ago and imagined my retirement to be different. I live in Australia. I’m still trying to work out how this all works. Would love a reply to see it I’ve done this correctly.


Created By on 14/08/2014

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Ed36
20th Aug 2017 23:50:50 (Last activity: 21st Aug 2017 10:29:47)
1
Thanks for voting!
I'm not caring for an ageing parent, I myself am that ageing person. I'm 88 and am active as companion and caregiver for my 93-year-old female partner. I'm very active, because I have to be. I walk to shopping, though it's maybe three times the distance that most people would regard as "walkable shopping" . To assist me, I use a small shopping wheeled cart, plus a pack on my back to carry the overload.

I look back with amusement many decades, when my father got into a big argument with his brother. My father thought that he and his brother should assume care for my grandfather, though that older person was younger than I am now. The brother disagreed.

My big failing with postings is that I can get too wordy, so it's time to stop.
Response from CaroleAH made on 21st Aug 2017 10:29:47
Wow, Ed, you are inspirational. I hope that your GP practice has got you flagged up as a Carer because Carers also need care. In Leeds there is a scheme where GP practices can refer all carers, no matter what age they are, to a voluntary organisation who will send someone to see you to have a chat and make sure that you are okay and claiming all the benefits due to you etc. I'm sure that there will be similar organisations country-wide.
It's great that you still manage to do your shopping by walking to the shops - most people, myself included, simply jump in the car! As you are obviously computer literate have you thought about getting one of the big supermarkets to deliver your weekly shop especially in the winter when the pavements may be icy and hazardous? Also, many pharmacies not only deliver your medication but will also order it from your GP so that might save you some time - I'm thinking of times when you might not want to venture out but would rather sit with your feet up. 🙂
mw65 Original Poster
15th Aug 2014 05:34:54 (Last activity: 19th Aug 2016 20:55:52)
1
Thanks for voting!
Hello back. Thank you for your reply. It took me ages to find my post, but it will get easier I hope. Yes it is somewhat challenging. the hardest part is being not being able to go out at the drop of the hat. A carer needs to be organized the day before to sit with mum. She is very frail and needs help with everything. I have a very good friend, who comes over regularly and looks after mum when I need to get out. I have recently taken up Yoga, which helps me tremendously and have joined a Carer Support group. The first time I went it was quite overwhelming. Had a phone call from them last Tuesday offering me a one hour voucher for a massage. Was so thrilled. So this afternoon I'm off to be pampered. I also have someone come in and help with dressing and showering 4 times per week. I would love to find a chat room, where I can have a one on one conversation with someone in a similar situation to share experiences. As my social life is very limited, this might be the way to go. So far I haven't had much luck. 🙂 Thanks again for your reply.
Response from Tin made on 18th Oct 2015 09:35:35
Hi there in Australia , I look after my Mum who is 87 and very frail and i still work part-time , so do sympathise with you and how your social life is probably like mine non very limited , I fidn you can never plan far ahead as Mum always comes first dont get me wrong i love her and dont mind taking care of her it is just at times i know i need a break, and try to arrange a day away for my own good. So if you fancy a chat or an ear would be good to connect all the best to you.

Tin
Response from dazydinah made on 19th Aug 2016 20:55:52
I think the magazine "Yours" has a page especially for carers and a chat room. You seem to be doing all you possibly can.
I am myself now 87 and pray to God that i can keep going on my own.
snoopysmum
15th Dec 2015 12:43:38
0
Thanks for voting!
I feel just like you! My Mum came to live with us 18 months ago. She's 91 and has dementia but is physically very healthy and mobile. Whilst totally forgetful she still gets very cross if she thinks she hasn't been included in any decision ie where she is going for Christmas! My brother asked her but it's gone!
Whilst I have my husband to help and carers for bathing, I find the whole of my way of life revolves around organising things for Mum! Appointments, pick ups, drop offs, clock watching! I totally understand how you are looking forward to an hour of pampering!
At the moment I feel especially frustrated as we've recently had 2 new grandchildren in 3 weeks, but Mum is put out that, for once, she isn't the centre of attention and gets very sulky if I go to visit them without her. This is a parent who found 40 miles a long way to travel to see her grandchildren! I had always resolved that I wouldn't be like my parents.
Last Saturday my husband and I went out together for the first time in ages but the organisation to get a Granny sitter nearly defeated me! Our retirement is on hold, we can't plan anything and my brother and sister in law can't do as mucg respite next year
Silversurfers Editor
14th Aug 2014 07:11:24
0
Thanks for voting!
Hello and yes you have done this correctly! well done … I have just moved it under our Topic heading called My Ageing Parent, so it is easier for other to find 🙂

what a challenging job you have taken on in your retirement and I hope it is rewarding. Do you get much support from any agencies with your mothers care? Do you have Social Services or similar in Australia? Have a lovely day 🙂

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