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Christmas/Birthday Gifts

Four years ago my husband ended our marriage and we separated. Soon after he asked me for a list of family birthdays etc. I should say that during our 35 year marriage I bought and arranged family gifts etc and paid with our joint credit card. I even arranged gifts for his female work staff. We are still married but live separately.

I have continued to buy modest gifts for family and send cards for birthdays, new baby etc. When I was ending a condolence card to a friend he asked if I would include his name and I did, on that occasion, although I felt it inappropriate. Each Christmas we have words over my wish to send gifts separately as I cannot bring myself to write “from X and X” which I feel is understandable. Last year we split them and I bought for female family members and he for the males (which probably meant money in a card).

As Christmas is approaching I want to sort this once and for all… his view is that we are still Auntie and Uncle whereas I feel that they know we are no longer together and will understand presents from both separately. I think he really can’t be bothered to buy for them all as he never used to but I want to present as an individual and single person (which I am).

My daughters think if it annoys him then I am being unreasonable… what do you think?

Created By on 28/10/2020

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28th Oct 2020 13:35:53 (Last activity: 16th Nov 2020 15:10:23)
Thanks for voting!
It seems to me that he wants the easy option and leaving you to do the hard work of choosing and buying.. All he has to do then is add his name (or even have you add it!).
It would seem strange to me to receive a gift or card from 2 people who are known to be no longer together. Personally, I wouldn’t go along with it and would send cards and gifts as an individual and leave him to sort himself out.
Response from lola2600 Original Poster made on 16th Nov 2020 15:10:23
Thank you for your response. I agree and it helps to know that someone else feels as I do!

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