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Dating After Bereavement

I would be interested to see what other people think about dating after a bereavement. Should I even consider dating again, or would that be disloyal to my late partner? I know someone who started dating less than six months after her husband died, and I know other people who never dated again.


Created By on 10/03/2019

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Happychops
11th Mar 2019 19:09:57 (Last activity: 17th Oct 2019 18:05:47)
2
Thanks for voting!
It all depends on how you feel. My daughter in laws gran met someone and the family love seeing her happy again. She has never forgotten her husband but needed to have company and someone to share life with.
I have friends who have also lost their husbands and will never date again,but I feel that it is upto the individual and their happiness is what comes first.
You do only get one chance at life and it needs to be how you would like it to be,
not be governed by what people think.
Response from DD1959 Original Poster made on 12th Mar 2019 08:09:05
Thanks, Happychops. You’re right, you do only get one chance at life. It would be a shame to spend it all alone.
Response from enriquette made on 17th Oct 2019 18:05:47
I have been a widow for three years, and I often observe myself being amazed at how indifferent I am to the idea of a new love. However, I lack projects and complicity. Perhaps it is still early, and it is difficult to reckon with thinking that it is still early but at the same time we are inexorably aging, it consoles me to think, however, that we do not have the expiry date as a yogurt 🙂

[sorry for my bad English: I'm Italian]
Stauch
5th Jul 2019 19:40:37
1
Thanks for voting!
It took about 3 years before I felt a need for companionship. Although I felt some guilt with it.
[deleted]
11th Mar 2019 23:43:27 (Last activity: 22nd Jun 2019 14:18:54)
1
Thanks for voting!
[deleted]
Response from DD1959 Original Poster made on 12th Mar 2019 08:06:03
Thanks, Yodama, that’s very good advice.
Response from CaroleAH made on 12th Mar 2019 09:47:08
Wise words, Yodama. A priest once told me that if you are not "over" a bereavement after a year then you never will be, which I found very hard and judgemental as there's always going to be something, whether it's a piece of music or a place etc which will trigger memories often unexpectedly. (Nina Ricci's L'air du Temps perfume reminds me of my Mum) We are all different and cope in different ways and as you wisely say, as long as the new prospective partner is not seen or treated as a substitute then things will be fine. Family and friends would hopefully only want to see the person concerned to be happy again but I can appreciate that there will be mixed feelings where children are concerned.
Response from PatriciaB96 made on 22nd Jun 2019 12:35:22
Thats is what I told my mother yodama., take a chance finding love again .
Response from PatriciaB96 made on 22nd Jun 2019 14:18:54
Well yodama my mum is in her 80s and I always encouraged for her to make new friends , even the male kind , and she does .
Patricia
PatriciaB96
22nd Jun 2019 12:32:46
1
Thanks for voting!
Good afternoon , I have never been in that position , but my mother has , she missed having some one around especially at night , she missed being comforted , and myself personally I told her it takes time to adjust , but life does go on , I said to her never feel guilty about learning to love again , so what ever the time comes , dont be afraid of taking a chance finding love again .
hyperbod
22nd Jun 2019 11:07:27
0
Thanks for voting!
Very apposite comments. I have just lost the love of my life. We were together for nearly 12 years, having both come out of unhappy marriages, so we found out what happiness really was.
But even now, feeling lost and empty, I cannot imagine spending the rest of my days alone. Maybe I will, time will tell.
One day it will all be over, but there has to hope. Certainly there will be feelings of guilt and disloyalty, but there are all those other feelings too.

Dum spiro spero........ as someone muttered .
Roy1945
17th May 2019 20:41:02
2
Thanks for voting!
I lost my late wife to cancer after 42 years of marriage. We meet when I was 14 and were together over 47 years. And god do i miss her loads? life can be hard and I am lucky enough to have met and married a lady I meet down the gym, friends at first then then we decided to marry and to have a second chance makes me so lucky. I felt so guilty at first but I know my late wife would have wished me well. We have now been married 9 years, we have one life and have to make the best of it. Whatever you decide I wish you well. I am nearly 74 and live my life to the full.

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