Feeling alone
Watch this postHello everyone, Yes I am feeling alone, I have been a Parent a Single Parent and a Step-Parent, wow you say, well yes.
I married, and we had a child, then after the second child my wife died leaving me with two children one aged 5 months the other 14 months old, we survived until my girls were about 4 and 5 and I met and got married to another single parent whose girls were aged 12 and 14.
We were together for about 25 years and we are now separated on friendly terms, but both living very different lives.
I live in a one bedroomed flat and feel very lonely at the moment, I know that this Covid-19 does not help my situation but it's like this all the time, virus or no virus, I still talk to my daughters and we Facetime each other often as we still have that special bond, and they are not happy that I am on my own.
I am finding it very difficult to go out to meet someone as I don't feel good enough or good looking enough to make someone else happy. I have registered on Silversurfing dating but I really don't feel that it is as good as it says it is, and feel that there are a number of Sharks just waiting for me to fall into those waters and be eaten alive, so any advice would help.
Thank you in advance.
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I do hope we all survive this and come out the other end as better and more tolerant people, into a new and forgiving world, I would really love to chat to people as my Daughters only chat at the weekend every Sunday, they do say, Dad, you can ring us anytime, and when I do they seem in such a hurry to get me off the phone and get on with their busy lives.
Sometimes I wish I had a cat, so that I can let it out each morning, and when it comes back in I can interrogate it as to where its been and what it's been doing, I may get some useful info out of it. I know, wishful thinking, and now I've given you all ideas about interrogating your pets, well at least I may have put a smile on your face for a moment or two.
I would love to be able to take a walk and hold hands with someone and chat about what is going on around us as we walk, stopping off at a local for a coffee, but alas its not to be for a very long time. Well must think about what to do next and get myself busy doing it. Take care.
I share your feelings of loneliness and need for cuddles in that recently my partner was diagnosed as being on the high-performing autistic spectrum as he is unable to empathise, sympathise or understand others' needs.
Like you I sincerely hope better times are ahead!
My friends think i am so lucky that my husband and i are good health and still together but
have no idea of what is like to live with the "untouchable" person
I know our days are numbered and i want to spend quality time with him. He encourages me to go out with my friends . When I go out with my friends I feel either a tinge of guilt or rather stay with my friends and have a feeling of anxiety when I come home.
I am blessed with our dog Vinny. If I could wave my magic wand life would be perfect.
Vinny is quite a character ,so many stories to tell..
And to countryrowe our chidadults have a lot of demands on them. I don't think they realize what they are giving up to achieve success. But someday they will. I really believe there is some one out there for you. It is in His time not ours.
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This COVID has not helped at all.
Thanks for replying it must be awful for you.
Wish I could get my own place.
Hope you are ok I feel like I am wasting my life.
Take care
Lynda
I really do not know what to do I have no funds to leave.
He had an affair 22 years ago it’s so stupid but I cannot get over it he says he will love her forever more I don’t know how he could have shown her love and affection and I get nothing at all but put downs.
Do hope you are ok.
Take care
I seem to have noticed it more when my sons left home and went to university (empty nest syndrome??)
The worst time for me was when my parents died - I couldn't talk about it with my wife and I still feel as though I haven't grieved properly yet even though the years have gone by
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It's very, very understandable that your confidence is at a low point after being with the same lady for 25 years. Everyone loses the (intimidating) "dating" habit, if it ever was one, and feels one doesn't measure up to the next person. What you are feeling is exactly what others feel and would feel in the same situation, unless they are extremely confident and outgoing. You see your younger children striking out with their futures ahead of them, and feel that it is too late for you, etc. which isn't the case.
Maybe there are other, less pressured, ways of meeting people, although those are compromised at the moment, such as (online) evening classes, or (online) activity groups, or church if you attend this, rather than a dating site per se. Alternatively if you have the money there are very selective dating groups which are very careful about who they allow as members.
I tend to think the more you try to find a special person, the more elusive s/he is. By simply mixing in whatever social way possible, with neighbours (even online) or wider friends, you will probably gradually regain much of your confidence, when faced with the acceptance and welcome of others. Being on your own in a small flat having just broken up with a long-time partner is very difficult in normal times, and especially in a pandemic, and maybe you need to take things more slowly to start with.
You may think all of this isn't very helpful but best wishes anyway!
I am very introverted and am lucky that I don't get lonely very often. I have a wonderful dog (Chinese-crested X unknown Terrier) who is a great companion. An animal really does help. We are allowed outside for exercise so Sophie gets two walks a day. Are you not allowed to exercise outside? I have met lots of people, and their dogs, while walking. Not deep conversations, but a little chit-chat helps.
I feel for you countryrowe feeling that Sharks have you in sight. There is a gentleman in the park that I converse with when our paths cross. He was widowed less than a year ago. My chair of choice in my living room looks out on our dog walking trail and a few months ago I noticed a woman (divorced) waiting for him at select spots on the trail so she could walk with him. It has become too common to be coincidental. He is a sitting duck. I know it's voyeuristic of me, but I find it actually amusing and it's something to while away a few moments. I hope he doesn't become shark bait as he quite a nice man.
This COVID thing has disrupted so many things in life. Little things like such wandering around a shop or dinner with girlfriends are no longer possible. I can't imagine how difficult this must be for extroverts.
I am definitely up for chatting if anyone is interested.
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