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Financial arrangement within marriage - what's your preference?

Do you think it's a better marriage where couples have their own individual bank accounts but share the running costs of the home, buy their own clothes etc. share the bill when they go on holiday, as opposed to all the money being in the one pot?


Created By on 15/03/2017

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Yogafan
10th Feb 2019 17:41:14
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I've never had a joint account with either my first husband,or second and never would.We both work full time.We also rent so,I pay the rent,my husband pays for everything else.Re holidays we split the cost 50/50.If we decide to go somewhere like the theatre and need a hotel as well,we'll also split the costs,husband may pay the hotel,I pay for the gig tickets and meals.
Response from Yogafan made on 11th Feb 2019 16:15:14
I think its fantastic when you both agree what works and stick by it.Money should'nt cause arguements,but if one party does'nt stick to the deal,or overspends or whatever,then of course,it can cause alot of unnecessary tension.
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britishtea
10th Nov 2017 18:03:43
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I think that is a good idea
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Pam1960
22nd Mar 2017 18:25:51 (Last activity: 23rd Mar 2017 14:26:58)
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My husband & I have our own bank accounts but also have a joint savings account and a bills account. We both leave the same amount in our own current accounts and the remainder goes into the other accounts. I think everyone should have their own money to spend how they like. If I have been to work to earn the money I don't expect that I would need to seek approval before spending it. We have joint accounts to pay for holidays, bills etc. One advantage of having joint accounts is if one partner is ill or passes away the other person still has immediate access to funds. I remember this was an issue when my mother died and everything was in her name, my father couldn't get his hands on the cash straight away so I had to fund the day to day living expenses until it had gone through probate
Response from Sandy 58 Original Poster made on 22nd Mar 2017 20:43:44
Pam, That seems to be working very well for you and your husband. But I do envy people who have a relationship of complete trust, that allows both parties to have a joint account, spend what they need without having to ask the other's permission and they don't steal from or deceive each other.
That way of working may be a thing of the past, too big a risk for people to take nowadays.
Response from jeanmark made on 23rd Mar 2017 14:26:58
Sandy 58, I am lucky in having a relationship of complete trust. We share everything and it's worked well for nearly 40 years. We do have contingency plans should something go wrong in the next 40 years.
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jeanmark
15th Mar 2017 19:45:34 (Last activity: 17th Mar 2017 12:34:51)
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I think it depends on the individual couples and what they feel is right for them. If its for 'richer or poorer' why not pool resources, unless of course one partner wants to control all.
Response from Sandy 58 Original Poster made on 15th Mar 2017 20:38:53
My father was the main earner while my mother worked part time and looked after the children. But family dynamics are different now. Both parents generally work full time and the children are cared for by grandparents. But it's likely one partner will earn less than the other. maybe people now are more about self interest. If resources are pooled I think it's a measure of your commitment to one another and one is no more financially secure than the other.
Response from jeanmark made on 16th Mar 2017 14:03:11
My father would come home and hand his unopened pay packet to my mother. She in turn gave him so much back for his own use. He always maintained it was his responsibility to earn and hers to spend and she always spent wisely. We were brought up to believe in the concept of equality and sharing resources as marriage was seen as an equal partnership. The man may have been the main earner but the woman was central to a happy and well run home, thus they were equal in their contribution.
Response from Sandy 58 Original Poster made on 16th Mar 2017 14:56:52
I worked alongside 3 women who earned substantially more than their husbands and all had their own bank accounts I always felt that they were the boss in the home. It can cause an imbalance in power. These days I think it's harder for people to trust someone with all their wealth. But it you can find someone who is worthy of your trust and all the money is in the pot then you have an equal partnership that makes for a happier life.
Response from jeanmark made on 16th Mar 2017 15:42:44
Totally agree and trust as a whole is so important in any relationship. We have been together too long to have to prove who the boss is, he's the boss and I make all the decisions!!
Response from Sandy 58 Original Poster made on 17th Mar 2017 00:14:25
I trusted my ex with all my money. It turned out what was mine was his and what was his was his own. I was unlucky to have trusted the wrong person.
Response from jeanmark made on 17th Mar 2017 12:34:51
So sorry to hear that. I have never experienced any problems. We do tell each other when we are going to buy something but more as a matter of good manners rather than asking permission. Larger purchases etc are joint decisions. I consider myself very lucky.
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