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Treehugger1
3rd Jul 2017 18:03:44
0
Thanks for voting!
I had a friendship with a lad of 18 (does that count as a man?) when I was in my 30s which started when he was a friend of my daughter and we found we had similar interests.
We studied and laughed a lot and it was definitely platonic, so yes it can happen.
Response from Mistysea made on 3rd Jul 2017 23:11:56
Thanks Treehugger1. I think that counts. It sure doesn't seem possible for me. It makes sense to me, because we each can benefit from the other's perspective, and we each can have skills that can complement. But I joined a Meetup group here in the Midwest U.S. called friendship network, and after four and a half years I still have no male friends. I want some buddies that I can hang out with occasionally, and get advice from, and give advice to. It would have been really nice if one of them would have gone with me when I bought my car. That was very stressful for me. But none offered. The same thing happened to another female friend in the group who actually asked some of the men for help. One sent her some websites, but I was the only one that drove an hour in a snow storm to go with her. They only seem concerned with getting dates, but then none of them can maintain a relationship. Maybe it's not me after all, now that I think about it. Maybe they just don't know how to connect in a meaningful way. One guy I thought was going to be a good friend. He offered to be my wing man, but I would have to find someone I was attracted to for that to be useful, and actually have the desire to be married again. I would prefer a few solid friendships over a second marriage I think
Response from BensNona made on 12th Nov 2018 05:39:07
Im new to the site..1st post... and this interested me because I, too, look for this and can never get it. And yet I know many women who claim they do. I read an article years ago that said friendships in these circumstances usually mean one of them wants to sleep together or they are sleeping together. And i kind of believe that because i think especially men need to have a physical attraction to even just be a good friend. If course ive sadly been in relationships where he really didnt act like a good friend. Wondering if the op ever found this...im in the states also.
ArchieUK
3rd Jul 2017 08:46:55
0
Thanks for voting!
Your question puzzles me,
I am not single, but what is a single man?

I have known a few men over the years who have been widowed, divorced, and they have been friends with whoever they liked including women. Their fear has in general been beware of the gold diggers.
Response from Yodama made on 3rd Jul 2017 10:01:20
Not a hard question to answer Archie, single means without a partner or attachment.
Hmmm! gold diggers, the few men that you know who are so fearful of meeting a gold digger seem very insecure to me, sad even.
Not many men have enough gold worth digging for and not many women are gold diggers. Male gold diggers that women are fearful of are called Gigolos not so?

On friendship between male and female:
“Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.”
―Oscar Wilde
Response from Mistysea made on 3rd Jul 2017 17:22:06
ArchieUK, I would like to think you are right about the possibility of friendship between men and women. But, it hasn't been my experience so far. I fear Yodama's post might be closer to reality. It's interesting to see that you feel men are afraid of gold-diggers. I'm sure it happens, but I have had many men target me as a widow for scamming purposes, because apparently they believe widow equates to desperate and stupid. I was hoping for legitimate friendship.
Response from owdmon made on 23rd Jan 2018 19:31:11
In my limited experience, its the female of the species who does not do friendships well.. Not matter their age they want marriage or long term relationships. I'm guessing its in their genes. I have lost two new lady friends because I would not move to "the next stage" I explained very early on I would never share a house with anyone ever again, but they think you are joking...
Response from TinaS4 made on 18th Jul 2018 18:38:54
owdmon..... we are not all like that, I for one have never been married and have never wanted to... I also like to have my own house and not have to tidy up or fetch and carry for a man... I had a 12 year relationship (now ended) where he came to stay with me for a couple of weeks at a time, then went home 200 miles away for around 3 - 4 weeks at a time.
I may not be the norm, but just pointing out, we're not all insecure or lonely without a man to settle down with.
Personally I think just being friends is perfect.
ela1661
1st Jan 2018 01:54:55
3
Thanks for voting!
I'm inclined to agree with Yodama's quote from Oscar Wilde. My experience since being widowed has pretty much proven to me that 'mature' men (and I use that term loosely) still have one primary thing in mind and as their ultimate goal (along with wanting a cook/housekeeper) and thus, true friendship is not possible.

I personally believe most older people would be far happier if the two genders could indeed be friends without any other tension and expectations. Just the security of knowing that a special someone has your back and is there for you for the journey would alleviate a great deal of fear, worry, and anxiety that so many older people have.

My two cents worth . . .
Yodama
3rd Jul 2017 10:12:21
1
Thanks for voting!
Not a hard question to answer Archie. single man means no partner or attachment.

The few men you know who are so afraid of gold diggers seem to be a sad egotistical bunch.
Women in general are looking for friendship and love, not much friendship when he has his eye on his wallet rather than her attributes.
Female singles should also beware of male gold diggers, they are historically called gigolos.

On the question Are single men interested in platonic friendships with women?

“Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.”
―Oscar Wilde
Response from Mistysea made on 3rd Jul 2017 17:13:32
That's sad to hear. I'm widowed, not sure that I want to start over with another marriage. I value a male perspective and companionship at times. I'm not looking for a relationship, but a friendship. I'm slow to learn I guess, but I'm getting the impression that you might be right. So, it's be devoid of any male interaction if I don't meet someone I want to marry?
Response from britishtea made on 9th Nov 2017 20:25:09
I understand you want to take it slow
britishtea
9th Nov 2017 20:07:26
0
Thanks for voting!
I do not think so. I think it would be easy for a man to do this.
Chiane
14th Jul 2017 00:04:16
0
Thanks for voting!
Mistysea, Yes single mature men and women can be friends. The reason why people become enemies when unfortunately their relationship did not work out is because they never were friends. I read in the replies that senior men are afraid of gold diggers, I say never expose yourself to people, don't come off as desprite and look as well as listen to the individual. No one can keep up a pretense for long especially a senior. Besides, if a platonic friendship is truly all you desire make that totally clear and if the individual does not respect your desire, that person is demonstrating selfish qualities. Friends must first show themselves to be friendly. Also, single may mean on documents someone who has never been married. However, If you are divorced, widowed or never married you are single. When dating, let it be known that you are dating. If engaged make that perfectly clear as well because although you are single, dating leads to engagement which leads to marriage.
TrevorL9
8th Jul 2017 08:49:58
1
Thanks for voting!
Mistysea: I wrote a silly article on my blog: http://www.trevorlockwood.com/chances-older-men/ prompted by the fact that 1 in 3 men can't manage sex anyway, so let's still have fun. I have plenty of women friends, and I'm now impotent! That stops a permanent relationship probably but I can still enjoy my life.

Bit stuck, as a poor man with the Dating site - I can't afford to reply (or I don't want to pay £28) to reply to all the gorgeous ladies that want to talk to me - great pity. Change the rules.
MicheleB7
3rd Jul 2017 16:06:17
0
Thanks for voting!
Hi
I'm new to silver surfers. Looking for friends to share days out and perhaps holidays. Lost my partner over six years ago. I'm in my late 50's and still working. Live in the North east UK.

I like the countryside and coast, enjoy walking and visiting new places. Non smoker. I have no pets but like animals, apart from wasps and sharks.
Response from Mistysea made on 3rd Jul 2017 17:26:30
I also am new. I hope this site meets your need. I'm sorry for your loss. Good luck.

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