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Funerals

In these days of recycling has it ever been considered that coffins should be hired instead burnt with the bodies which is a terrible waste of wood?


Created By on 03/01/2017

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Sandy 58
8th Jan 2017 16:09:40
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Surely, there is a market for smart looking body bags for burial and cremation. But no doubt the undertakers would capitalise on these if they were available. Your only other option is donate your body to medical science.
It's nice to pay your respects at funerals where you know the deceased and they have touched your life but there are those people who turn up at funerals with the expectation of a nice buffet and a free drink. With todays prices we need to kick that into touch. It should be the immediate family only going for a nice meal after the funeral. That's what I would wish for and to go quietly in a body bag.
Response from Georgie Girl made on 8th Jan 2017 17:29:06
We looked at donating body to medical science but that is not as straightforward as first appears,

I think (unless you are religious) and you want all the pomp and circumstance of a church etc., then that is a choice but for me we need to move with the times and get away from the norm of funerals they are just awful. This would also help stop funeral directors ripping everyone off, telling the bereaved 'don't worry, leave everything to us'. Then nonchalantly present a bill for over £5,000

We can make a celebration of someones life after they have gone but I certainly don't want anyone going to a crematorium to watch a coffin (or cheap bag, and that's not me I am referring to!!) go into a furnace, horrible, just horrible. Best for ashes to be returned, scattered or whatever in fave place and those who really cared for me to maybe have a meal together.

We are in the dark ages with funerals, lets move forward.
Response from jeanmark made on 8th Jan 2017 18:43:20
I think you will find a number of people have moved forward. If you don't want a religious ceremony then go for a Humanist funeral. They don't have to cost a bomb and neither do they have to be awful. Celebrating a life can be very rewarding and comforting to those close to the deceased.
Response from Georgie Girl made on 8th Jan 2017 19:27:18
Yes, that is what it should be as mentioned a celebration of a life.
Response from Georgie Girl made on 8th Jan 2017 19:30:14
p.s. don't feel the need for paying a humanist either, someone who does not even know the person. Its just about those closest to you, do we really need a third party..
Response from Wilf made on 8th Jan 2017 19:31:41
I totally agree with just body bags so much more eco friendly especially nowadays with billions of us about!
Response from jeanmark made on 9th Jan 2017 15:58:39
The Good Funeral Guide is one way of identifying what is permissible under the Burial Laws Amendment Act 1880 www.goodfuneralguide.co.uk.

Body bags may appear to appeal, but they are not the best 'thing' to transport your loved one in. Maybe I have seen too many body bags in use that I have been put off having one.
Response from Georgie Girl made on 9th Jan 2017 16:43:31
Why the giant zips, escape in case of misdiagnosis!!!
globetraveller
14th Mar 2018 16:01:22
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One of my relatives had insisted on a cardboard coffin and I wondered what it would look like. It was beautiful, full of colour and very personalised to her. To be honest, I would never have known it was cardboard. Its now what I want for me.
BlueRayne
18th Sep 2017 15:52:21
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My personal choice will be Cremation. I refuse to pay the price of a Brand New Car to bury it into the ground to merely pollute the Planet. It is indeed a waste. My 'dust' will become fertilizer for the trees. My Wishes/Desire, is to become 'The Earth'
CaroleAH
29th Mar 2017 10:49:22 (Last activity: 2nd Apr 2017 20:50:57)
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After organising the funerals for my parents I decided to write down what I wanted to happen at my funeral so that my daughters wouldn't have more "heart-ache" to deal with. I occasionally change my mind about the music so I send them an email with the new instructions and just tell them to file it away for future use 🙂
I also have to say that I agree with Duckkers about the compassion and care shown by the funeral directors - they were excellent and the celebrant ( a Salvation Army lady previously unknown to us) was wonderful - in fact, after my Mum's funeral, my Dad said that it was the best funeral he had ever attended as it was a real celebration of my Mum's life and after 70 years together I'm sure that he knew what he was talking about.
I, personally, disagree with the huge amounts of money spent on funeral flowers - I would far rather give flowers to people when they are alive and can enjoy them. A small arrangement from the family and then donations to specified charities is my wish.
Response from duckkers made on 2nd Apr 2017 20:50:57
Well done CaroleAH for writing down what you want to happen at your funeral, it's something I suggest to people constantly .......... "write down what you want, music, type of coffin, whether you want it to be religious/non-religious or just a 'light touch' with, say, just the Lord's Prayer and a space for reflection to allow for those attending who may want that space for their prayers" --- and please don't say, "it doesn't matter to me, I won't be there" - until you have sat with a grieving family who say, "we don't know what he/she would have wanted" - it's a celebration of your life, so tell people.
And I agree about the flowers - but laying a single flower on the coffin looks lovely......I've done funerals where they've had a teapot and a cup and saucer on the coffin, one lady insisted that everyone place chocolates on her husbands coffin because he was a chocoholic - it was lovely, and funny.
The trouble is, we avoid death, and we shouldn't because along with taxes, it's the one thing you can be sure of - we all have to die, so make the saying goodbye the way you would want it to be.
duckkers
28th Mar 2017 22:48:32 (Last activity: 29th Mar 2017 18:25:46)
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As a response to the "re-usable coffin" - there's the cleaning cost of the coffin to be taken into consideration - I'll just say - bodily fluids!!!!!
Response from Wilf made on 28th Mar 2017 23:02:28
Yes but at least they are environmentally friendly!
Response from jeanmark made on 29th Mar 2017 18:25:46
Wilf, I'm not sure you totally understand the term bodily fluids which I can assure you may not make the coffin environmentally friendly!
duckkers
28th Mar 2017 22:50:02
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There's some lovely felted wool "coffins" made by a company in Cornwall - they can be embroidered and are quite beautiful, and all natural products.
duckkers
28th Mar 2017 22:46:11
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There are a few things that need clarifying - folk attending a funeral do NOT see the coffin "going into the furnace" - oh please where did that come from.
The funeral is actually a very important part of the passage for the folk left, and it is my experience that the wishes of the departed, if wishes have been expressed which is very rare, have been adhered to as much as possible, that the wishes of the family/friends have been adhered to as much as possible.
The funeral director will NOT nonchalantly hand a bill for £5000 or more at the end, the costs are gone through beforehand so that the family understands, and they have choices as to what they wish to pay for, the type of coffin, music, celebrant and so on. It is an individual thing which, in my experience, is attended to with great care and compassion.
Every effort is made to ensure that the deceased is given a respectful and compassionate service, and that the grieving family is cared for with the same respect and compassion.
Of course there can be many stories of mistakes and downright bad work/business - but they all try to make it as painless as possible.
We also have to consider the nature of death, sudden/unexpected/suicide/child/young person - it's so easy to criticise.
My plea to folk I meet is to write down what you want to happen at your funeral, don't say "it doesn't matter - I won't be there" - those who love you will, and they want to honour you in the best way they can - so choose what music you would like played, do you want it to be a religious ceremony or non-religious/humanist.
The biggest problem we British have is our culture which doesn't "do" death, we don't confront it, we don't want to think about it......the trouble with death is - it's inevitable, a bit like taxes, as someone once said!
Oh - and remember this - death brings out the best and worst in people, and old wounds and hurts come back and revenge is sought - family feuds rekindled and so on......
ecarg
1st Mar 2017 15:22:58
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I expected to be attending a funeral this week ,but it is to be private only the ladies husband and 2 sons attending .My friend wanted to donate her body to medical science but because she had
cancer this wasn't possible.Her husband ,sons,brothers and sisters may or may not want or require the support of other relatives and friends and of course this can be done in different ways but somehow not attending her funeral leaves me feeling a bit in limbo with mixed feelings as to who I contact and who may not want that contact
It really is an individual choice , my family know my wishes but I have not made them formal and prehaps better solutions will be in place before
I die but there again it could be sooner than I think.Best take action now and make changes if my ideal solution becomes lawful.
Georgie Girl
4th Jan 2017 18:32:05 (Last activity: 5th Jan 2017 21:05:48)
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OMG natural or nature reserve grounds, still soil, still worms!!!
Response from jeanmark made on 4th Jan 2017 18:50:58
But giving back to the environment, your loved ones can have a tree to worship.
Response from Georgie Girl made on 4th Jan 2017 21:28:21
Nuthin is worming its way in to me!!!
Response from Margaret Hart Original Poster made on 5th Jan 2017 21:05:48
Most people are only ashes and that's what I meant that people be put straight into the incinerator without the box so it could be cleaned and reused.
jeanmark
4th Jan 2017 15:09:16 (Last activity: 4th Jan 2017 18:46:28)
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Why not consider a natural burial? This is the interment of the body of a dead person in the soil in a manner that does not inhibit decomposition but allows the body to recycle naturally. It is an alternative to other contemporary Western burial methods. There are natural burial grounds all around the UK, with new sites opening every year.

There are basically two types of natural burial grounds; truly natural, nature reserve grounds, where non-embalming is a requirement and coffins have to be biodegradable. There are also those where a tree is planted but no other environmentally friendly rules apply.

www.naturaldeath.org.uk/index.php?page=choosing-a-natural-burial-grounds, this may give more information and there are other websites.
Response from jeanmark made on 4th Jan 2017 18:27:33
There is a Natural Burial Site on the way to my step-daughters, just hope she hasn't noticed it yet, she's a great re-cycler
Response from jeanmark made on 4th Jan 2017 18:46:28
Good idea.
footslogger
4th Jan 2017 16:52:37
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These days coffins are available made from recycled cardboard, very few wooden coffins are used, its up to the person to make their wishes known in their will.
Georgie Girl
3rd Jan 2017 22:40:52
1
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There are many various materials available for the 'final journey' does not have to be wood.

One thing this government should be looking at is the downright disgrace re the cost of funerals. We wanted to put our house in order for the hopefully distant future and do not want any kind of the normal funeral pomp, just our body taken away in the cheapest coffin available and ashes returned. Normal funeral directors just don't want to know about this, not enough money in it for them. We did however find one which is in fact called 'final journey' but they still charge something like £2,000 just for that. Does anyone know a better plan?

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