The Green eyed monster ...
Watch this postJealousy can destroy a relationship so knowing how to deal with it is vital. When you are in a relationship and know each other fairly well it is impossible to hide when you feel an attraction to someone else. If you are in a healthy relationship I think you should be open and honest about it, even make a joke out of it. If you ignore or deny it then it can destroy you both. Why do we get jealous? At the root of it we are all hard-wired to be protective of our relationships and anything that threatens to lure our partner away brings out the primal instinct to destroy it. This is partly protective and not a bad thing but there is another side to jealousy that stems from our own feelings of insecurity or inadequacy. That's the dangerous one. If someone else finds my partner attractive then I take it as a compliment and if it makes my partner feel flattered then that's alright too ... the only answer is to handle the situation as a couple with total honesty. Any little hurt feelings are nothing compared to what can happen if the Green Eyed Monster is left in charge. What are your views?
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Met a lovely gentleman 4 years ago who does not possess a jealous bone in his body. He knows the extent of my ex's jealousy. My lovely gentleman is open, secure and mature with his feelings. I always refer to him as "my lovely gentleman" because that is what he is.
You have been much more fortunate than I have been Pola in so far as that you found your Prince Charming...I never did. I am so pleased for you x
I still get angry with myself, also, for putting up with it for so long given all the signs/signals of abuse: name calling, dictating what I wore, who I spoke to, how I behaved in front of HIS friends (the usual flirting with them, behaving like a whore, being called a whore for having a mind of my own, dressing to entice them... that old chestnut!") however due to my so called "family" "not losing face" I had to stay!
The same people now wonder why MY children and I have no more to do with them.
The best revenge on everyone who in their narrow minded opinion "thought" that I should have stayed is "Good-bye forever."
These people have no part in my life, my children's lives, my lovely grandson's life and especially in my life with my "lovely gentleman."
We both found the strength to make new lives, and provide for our children single handed...not easy.
The past has affected me but I try not to dwell on it ( my 2nd marriage was even worse but in a different way...long story), and I am still the kind thoughtful person I always was...although a lot more cautious.
Which part of the country do you live. Private message me if you prefer.
He used to accuse me even of having affairs with his friends, and didn't like me in the car with my driving instructor (came to spy and pick me up after a lesson). Called me a whore and other disgusting names. The only place I went was the school to collect the children. He went out by himself 3 times a week, and came home in the early hours of the morning..one night he never came home. I eventually refused to go out with him as he would carry on and create...accuse me of looking at other men when I was watching the band.
I left him vey early 1 morning with my 2 children and a couple of suit cases after he jumped out of bed and accused me of dreaming of other men.