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My husband watches porn

My husband watches porn, he thinks in secret but I often find out.


I know it’s normal but what hurts is that he doesn’t come near me, not even for a cuddle or a hug. When he does hug me he tends to pat me on the back.


A couple of years ago I found he’d been trawling dating sites but offering sex not relationships. I don’t think he actually ‘signed up’ but he was looking at lots of them, including one showing only woman over 50. I’m 56!


I feel so worthless and unimportant.


Created By on 13/06/2019

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Yogafan
22nd Jun 2019 16:07:04
0
Thanks for voting!
Did you confront your husband on the porn and dating sites?I would of.Not in an aggressive type way,more a curious....you need to explore why type way.Do you still feel like being sexually active with him,or has your libido slumped?I would bring this up for discussion either way and find out whats actually going on.Maybe he's hit a mid life crisis,and thats ok,as long as he talks it over.
Broncrider
22nd Oct 2020 05:44:16
0
Thanks for voting!
your husband sounds like me in the past. my wife lost interest in sex almost over night. I turned to porn and even thought about these married but looking sites. I finally stopped looking at porn, because I realized it was all fake. the excitement was not there, and I was afraid that I might go to more perverted forms of porn.
as a man I would tell you to encourage your husband, make sure he knows that he is loved. are you into oral sex? try slipping into the shower and stroking him.
ArchieUK
18th Jun 2019 10:10:07 (Last activity: 18th Jun 2019 13:14:38)
1
Thanks for voting!
It would be very nice and useful to know how you delt with problem,your answer could possibly be usefull to many other people.
Response from CaroleAH made on 18th Jun 2019 10:36:34
I agree, Archie. I often wonder what happens to the people who ask for advice on this forum, especially on such a sensitive issue.
Response from PatriciaB96 made on 18th Jun 2019 12:47:33
I agree with you Archie , and you carole , but i am a bit of a rebel , myself I would make him know what hes missing and then walk way , leaving him behind in the thought , that what he had with me , hecwill never find in some one else
Response from CaroleAH made on 18th Jun 2019 13:08:14
I agree up to a point, Patricia, but if you have been married for a long time then surely it must be worth exploring options for staying together and making the marriage work for both sides. Pornography can introduce unrealistic expectations for both sexes and, in my opinion, could never be part of a loving relationship.
Response from PatriciaB96 made on 18th Jun 2019 13:14:38
Yes you may be right , but for a manwho pushes his wife awayike that with out a thought for her feelings , its heart breaking , yes she should try and talk to , as to the old saying you can lead a horse to water but cant make him drink , theres always a point when talking is not enough , , sadly to say I've been there and done that , many years,ago ,
lodaox
17th Jun 2019 07:17:10
0
Thanks for voting!
I dealt with that (with ex husband). Cheating was also discovered. My daughter dealt with that issue too.....cheating was discovered as well. You may very well discover more things, if you dig deep enough. You deserve better than that. This is just my personal opinion but where there is smoke, there’s usually fire. You aren’t worthless and unimportant! When you start to feel better about yourself, you’ll have the answers you need
CaroleAH
14th Jun 2019 11:38:25
0
Thanks for voting!
Does your husband know how much this distresses you? Have you tried to discuss this with him, in a non-judgemental way, although I appreciate how difficult this will be when you are upset. If you can't talk about it, write it down and make sure he reads your letter. ArchieUK mentions partners watching "soaps" on the TV and neglecting the needs/feelings of their other half. I think we can all be guilty of that, whether it's an obsession with a hobby or a sport etc.
At 56, Wobbles, you are still young and have 30 or more years left to live an enjoyable life. Is it time to sit down with your husband and have an honest discussion as to what you both want for the future and then work out a way in which you can both make this happen?
PatriciaB96
13th Jun 2019 22:19:32 (Last activity: 14th Jun 2019 09:35:05)
1
Thanks for voting!
Its so sad when people suffer because there partners prefer to watch porn films than showing true affections to there other halfs , its demeaning , as to one of the post I have read , they should be a shamed of them selfs
Response from ArchieUK made on 14th Jun 2019 09:35:05
Is it also sad when people suffer because there parteners prefer to watch soaps on television rather than show any affection to their other half? These soaps are on from five to seven and a half hours a week, but of corse they expect their partner to tolerate this.
Pornograph is like the soaps ,a escape from reality but should it be a one way street?

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