View comments by: Most Recent - first / last | Most Popular - first / last | Replies - hide / show

I’m new to this.

Hi, I have just joined and really don’t know what I am doing.

I really just want some one to talk to, I lost my husband 8 months ago and grief is taking over my life.

I can't focus on anything - he was my life now he’s gone.

Created By on 24/10/2020

Not a member?

You need to be a member to interact with Silversurfers. Joining is free and simple to do. Click the button below to join today!

2nd Nov 2020 10:03:34 (Last activity: 22nd Dec 2020 16:55:49)
Thanks for voting!
Dearest Eebby I can relate to your feeling so well as I lost my lovely husband early December last year and I still expect him to walk in the door.
This virus problem arrived in March and I was isolated just when I needed everyone more than ever so I understand just how you feel.
It is hard passing the 1st milestones such as our anniversary and his birthday and him not being here for our childrens special days but we got through them (just)
I have learnt to put special memories in a compartment in my brain to go to when I am feeling low and have a good old cry, then try and give myself something to look forward to however small,at the moment with lockdown on us again it is difficult as you well know.
We where married 45yrs and both very young at heart in our outlook to life,enjoying holidays and socialising so he is greatly missed we where due to go back to Spain for 3mths when he died to where we had lived for nearly 10yrs and ran a business so loosing him was a big shock not only to us his family but to many many friends here and abroad and keeping in touch with them has made the days pass.I do hope you receive some comfort from replys you receive and can slowly move forward as I know it is so hard for you.
Response from Dinabob4 made on 22nd Dec 2020 16:55:49
Hi Willow2, Thanks for sharing your story on this site. You have had a difficult year. How are you doing now? Restrictions are of course, still a bit part of our lives. Dina
13th Nov 2020 14:35:05 (Last activity: 13th Nov 2020 20:35:47)
Thanks for voting!
Hi Sorry for you lost.... I was told that to had love is better then to had never been love at all... I lost my wife of 13 yrs but remarried please take comfort that there is friendship near and you have a love that is true.
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 13th Nov 2020 20:35:47
Hi Awal,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

27th Oct 2020 11:31:23
Thanks for voting!
Hi Eebby

Welcome to the site, it is a good step to make.

I am sorry to hear of your loss. I understand it is a really difficult time and at such an early stage. It cannot be underestimated at all.

I would say you do get stronger as time passes and you think of your loved one and all the good times. You build your life little by little and feel them with you in your heart as you find your way into a new chapter of life.

It is harder to focus in the early stages. You could try writing a little list of things that make you feel a little better for a while. It could be anything: such as: a walk in the park, a relaxing bubble bath, watching a comedy, reading a few chapters of a book (any subject you could take), a heartwarming film or maybe a chat to a friend or family member.
Look at the list when feeling down. Maybe journalling might help let your feelings out a bit.
I like to write down everyday a few thoughts and about what has happened.

If you are in the UK you could ask for bereavement support from charities such as Cruse, if it helps to talk.

Take care
25th Oct 2020 18:42:05
Thanks for voting!
Hi Eebby so sorry for your lose I also lost my husband but not as recently as you believe me when I say it will get better remember it’s early days take care
24th Oct 2020 23:55:08 (Last activity: 25th Oct 2020 11:22:17)
Thanks for voting!
A loss such as yours is beyond words, Eebby. I can't discuss grief because in an obscure way I'm in grief; I won't discuss sport because I detest it. If you think of anything else ... just post. I'm usually around the area.
Response from Eebby Original Poster made on 25th Oct 2020 11:22:17
Hi Lionel,
Thank you for your kind words and I am sorry you are also suffering a loss. I like listening to music of all genres I’m not into sport either so we have that in common. I am quite a private person and it takes a long time for people to really know me, the real me. I enjoy eating out and a glass of wine now and again. I like visiting different places Ive not seen a lot of the world but I do love the Far East my husband and I have been there a few times.
24th Oct 2020 18:28:36 (Last activity: 25th Oct 2020 11:12:46)
Thanks for voting!
Hi Sorry to hear about your husband. I’m sure you will find friends here talk to & not feel so alone.
Response from Eebby Original Poster made on 25th Oct 2020 11:12:46
Hi Mary, thanks for your kind words, things are still a bit raw at the moment but I am trying to put myself out there but its not easy I am quite a private person and its a bit scary. This is the first step so wish me luck.

Community Terms & Conditions

Content standards

These content standards apply to any and all material which you contribute to our site (contributions), and to any interactive services associated with it.

You must comply with the spirit of the following standards as well as the letter. The standards apply to each part of any contribution as well as to its whole.

Contributions must:

be accurate (where they state facts); be genuinely held (where they state opinions); and comply with applicable law in the UK and in any country from which they are posted.

Contributions must not:

contain any material which is defamatory of any person; or contain any material which is obscene, offensive, hateful or inflammatory; or promote sexually explicit material; or promote violence; promote discrimination based on race, sex, religion, nationality, disability, sexual orientation or age; or infringe any copyright, database right or trade mark of any other person; or be likely to deceive any person; or be made in breach of any legal duty owed to a third party, such as a contractual duty or a duty of confidence; or promote any illegal activity; or be threatening, abuse or invade another’s privacy, or cause annoyance, inconvenience or needless anxiety; or be likely to harass, upset, embarrass, alarm or annoy any other person; or be used to impersonate any person, or to misrepresent your identity or affiliation with any person; or give the impression that they emanate from us, if this is not the case; or advocate, promote or assist any unlawful act such as (by way of example only) copyright infringement or computer misuse.

Nurturing a safe environment

Our Silversurfers community is designed to foster friendships, based on trust, honesty, integrity and loyalty and is underpinned by these values.

We don't tolerate swearing, and reserve the right to remove any posts which we feel may offend others... let's keep it friendly!