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Just joined so introducing myself

My husband died four and a half years ago, I moved from the North to the South-East to be nearer my children and grandchildren. I miss him dreadfully but am trying to make a new life for myself. Not lonely but feel very alone and don't sleep too well.


Created By on 16/11/2016

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jettez
23rd Nov 2016 16:59:43
0
Thanks for voting!
My husband died nearly 12 yrs ago. All I can say is memories keep us going keep mentioning g his name. Make sure your grandkids are aware of him. My husband didn't live to see our 4 lovely grandkids but they know all about him and are always asking if he is watching them.
Response from Jenninora made on 23rd Nov 2016 17:10:05
Oh Jettez. Welcome to Silversurfers. I hope you have fun with some of the going on. You will have missed your husband. This time of the year is difficult for many too. Grandchildren with the remainder of your family will be the solace. Which county are you living in?
Response from Lanlivery Original Poster made on 17th Jan 2017 19:37:54
We talk about Grampy all the time but the loneliness is unbeatable, no one to do nothing with as Esther Ranzen described it. Once the curtains are drawn it's a long night
LCraig
21st Jan 2017 18:53:18 (Last activity: 21st Jan 2017 20:22:50)
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Thanks for voting!
Hello Lanlivery, I am so sorry for your loss & know exactly what you are going through. I lost my husband in March 2015 unexpectedly & it's been almost unbearable at times. I understand what you mean by not lonely but feel very alone. I do work full time & that gives me a bit of relief from being alone during the day, but it's when I close the door behind me every evening & at weekends that the silence hits me. I have begun to talk to myself & the dog quite a lot. Obviously he thinks I'm completely bonkers - the way he looks at me sometimes makes me smile though & I feel so much better having him to talk to. I talk to Pete's photo constantly telling him about my day & sharing funny things that happened- I even comment during TV programmes that he would either like or hate! I allow myself to cry when I feel the need & I really do own my grief because it represents the enormous amount of love I feel for him & the gratitude for the 40 years we had together.
Things didn't turn out the way you & I thought it would, but suffering this huge tragic loss, has made me think differently about life in general. I am more tolerant of people but sad when I see them arguing or being aggressive toward each other. I want to experience things, watch my family grow & hopefully see all my grandchildren get married. But whilst living a completely different life & having become a completely different person now, I will always look back at the wonderful life I had with Pete & the enormous amount of love & laughter that we shared ............ thank heavens for memories.
Do write back Lanlivery & talk as much as you want to. You are not alone at all. I'm a good listener & if you ever find yourself in the New Forest, you'll have a shoulder to cry on. xx
Response from Jenninora made on 21st Jan 2017 20:22:50
How thoughtful, apt and sensitive. I hope you get comfort through the words and consideration of people. People who care! X
[deleted]
17th Nov 2016 09:58:55 (Last activity: 18th Jan 2017 10:05:24)
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Thanks for voting!
[deleted]
Response from Lanlivery Original Poster made on 17th Jan 2017 19:34:37
I lived on Morecambe Bay for 32 years so it was a massive change. I will get through this but it's hard. Thank goodness I have some of my family nearby though they have their own lived to lead and I feel lost especially in the evenings.
Response from Jenninora made on 18th Jan 2017 10:05:24
Lanlivery and just someone who has been left saddened or bereft with loss. It is difficult, so difficult, at the beginning. How long is the BEGINNING you are asking. That can stretch for as long as it takes for each person. As some responses have been to try something different or new often, I agree. I started off after a big change in my personal life by feeding the ducks etc. On my own. I thought, hey girl, a woman out feeding the ducks. I looked up and around and I loved the space and what nature was doing. The animals and birds busy themselves even if they are on their own. I took the hint and from them I took each day as a new day and a new beginning. Spring is just around the corner. I am looking to that. And it has been quite a long time when I started to reflect. Still reflecting.
Triandatesera34
24th Nov 2016 09:52:26 (Last activity: 17th Jan 2017 19:35:58)
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Thanks for voting!
Good for you Lanlivery. Tough time but you are being strong and will get through it - life will get better and you will learn to enjoy all again - and sleep better.
Response from Lanlivery Original Poster made on 17th Jan 2017 19:35:58
Sleeping is difficult and I know I'd feel better if I wasn't so tired. Spring is coming so things will look better soon
Rasco
18th Nov 2016 19:19:28 (Last activity: 23rd Nov 2016 17:38:56)
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Thanks for voting!
I only joined today, so like you Lanlivery am introducing myself.

Lost my wife of 36 years earlier this year.

I have a positive outlook and a belief in people being the source of good things to come in the form of friendship and company.
Response from Jenninora made on 19th Nov 2016 07:56:52
Welcome Rasco. Take it lightly. Enjoy it too.
Response from jettez made on 23rd Nov 2016 17:38:56
A lot of us in the same boat sunshine
Triandatesera34
19th Nov 2016 19:05:44
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Thanks for voting!
I too have only just joined today, and never having done anything like this before am finding it all very strange! I am also on my own now and although I live in a busy city and there are friends and family around, I find that it can be quite lonely as everyone else has their partner or family to go back to. Having said all that life is still very good just finding your way can take some time.
Tomtwodogs
17th Nov 2016 09:05:55
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Thanks for voting!
Yes welcome Lanlivery, enjoy it here ,x
Jenninora
17th Nov 2016 08:44:33
0
Thanks for voting!
Welcome Lanlivery. Have fun.

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