View comments by: Most Recent - first / last | Most Popular - first / last | Replies - hide / show

Kinda lost - is it too late to start again at 65?

I’m married to a 78 YO man and am not happy. This is my second marriage and I married him because I was on the rebound and lonely.

Now 19 years later I’m so unhappy. Is it too late to start over again?

I’m 65 and not happy.

Created By on 16/04/2021

Not a member?

You need to be a member to interact with Silversurfers. Joining is free and simple to do. Click the button below to join today!

7th May 2021 02:05:52 (Last activity: 7th May 2021 22:22:19)
Thanks for voting!
I'd like to think it is not too late. 67 here and have been single for a while now.
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 7th May 2021 07:47:14
Hi ralfwechs,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

Response from ralfwechs made on 7th May 2021 22:22:19 > @Sally - Silversurfer's Editor
Thanks, Sally. I think I'm getting a hang of it now.
16th Apr 2021 09:44:37
Thanks for voting!
Theoretically it's not too late to start over, but in practice it's tough to find a man one's own age (I am similar in age to you) because men in their sixties look for women a good decade or more younger etc. Not fair, but that's the way it is....maybe it will change for the next generation....

Also, I dont' think lockdown/post-lockdown is a good time for drastic changes, as the whole last year has been so, so ghastly. To do something drastic with one's life when things are not 'normal' is dangerous.

Can you write down for yourself a list of 'Why I am unhappy?'....a 'What's wrong with me and my husband?, and 'Bad things about him/good things about him.'

Does he know you are unhappy?

SO many men are hopeless at 'reading' women. We tend to be far more attuned to moods than they are, by and large, and he may have no idea you are unhappy.

What is it that is actually making you unhappy?

Many men find it hard to show affection, which is SO essential to a marriage (far more than sex I would argue!!!!!!), but so often it is wives who have to show affection, and be demonstrative. Just sitting on a sofa together, holding hands, or in physical contact, can be enough. it's the feeling of being wanted and valued that each partner in a marriage needs above all.

Community Terms & Conditions

Content standards

These content standards apply to any and all material which you contribute to our site (contributions), and to any interactive services associated with it.

You must comply with the spirit of the following standards as well as the letter. The standards apply to each part of any contribution as well as to its whole.

Contributions must:

be accurate (where they state facts); be genuinely held (where they state opinions); and comply with applicable law in the UK and in any country from which they are posted.

Contributions must not:

contain any material which is defamatory of any person; or contain any material which is obscene, offensive, hateful or inflammatory; or promote sexually explicit material; or promote violence; promote discrimination based on race, sex, religion, nationality, disability, sexual orientation or age; or infringe any copyright, database right or trade mark of any other person; or be likely to deceive any person; or be made in breach of any legal duty owed to a third party, such as a contractual duty or a duty of confidence; or promote any illegal activity; or be threatening, abuse or invade another’s privacy, or cause annoyance, inconvenience or needless anxiety; or be likely to harass, upset, embarrass, alarm or annoy any other person; or be used to impersonate any person, or to misrepresent your identity or affiliation with any person; or give the impression that they emanate from us, if this is not the case; or advocate, promote or assist any unlawful act such as (by way of example only) copyright infringement or computer misuse.

Nurturing a safe environment

Our Silversurfers community is designed to foster friendships, based on trust, honesty, integrity and loyalty and is underpinned by these values.

We don't tolerate swearing, and reserve the right to remove any posts which we feel may offend others... let's keep it friendly!