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Lies on social media

I wonder if anyone has had any experience of lies being told about them on social media?

In this case, a woman is claiming to be a victim abused and harassed by the father of her baby. In fact she is now refusing to let him see the child, despite promises to the contrary. She has repeatedly blocked him from sending texts and messages and he has respected this throughout her pregnancy. During the time he had contact copies of his texts show nothing but care and concern for her health and a wish to be a good father. She allowed him to see the child once and again once for the half siblings who loved her while she was in a relationship with their father. The atmosphere was lovely and relaxed. Then the accusations and blocking began again and he is afraid to contact her in case she makes more accusations, upon which she accused him publicly of abandoning his child. Now she is posting photos of herself as a strong single mother who will bring up her child without the father and is refusing to name him on the birth certificate. He is devastated and his mental health is suffering.

Does anyone know what can be done to help him be the father he wants to be to his child? Her cruelty to both him and the child is terrifying but she seems to have all the power.

Created By on 16/03/2021

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17th Mar 2021 12:32:57 (Last activity: 30th Mar 2021 03:21:36)
Thanks for voting!
It would be interesting to know if this woman is claiming child benefit from the father of the child. Presumably, he could go to court to make arrangements for access visits, especially if he is paying maintenance. I don't know what he can do about the defamatory statements on social media especially if she is blocking him. Do they have friends in common who he could message to dispute the lies this person is putting on-line?
Response from Fightingon Original Poster made on 23rd Mar 2021 01:33:01
Thank you for your interest Carole. He is more than willing to pay maintenance and be an active father. He has in fact sent her money and flowers on her birthday while she was pregnant as she was unable to work. This was when he was still allowed to text. At this she claimed on FB he was emotionally manipulating her and was also using his children to do so as they had made birthday cards for her. This was such a shock as she presents herself as a strong, empathetic, caring woman. Despite promises to use his name and hers on the birth certificate it appears that she has not even named him as father. He has sought legal advice and has been able to complete forms to change this legally though cannot change the child's name without her consent. He will have to do a DNA test to claim his child. After this he will be able to claim parental responsibility but a solicitor has advised that because she is intending to breast feed for as long as possible he may not be able to look after the baby till it is weaned. Meanwhile he cries every day, missing his baby and is losing the ability to function normally as this is overwhelming him. Naturally this is having a terrible effect on his whole family including his other children. If a man took a baby away from a woman and refused contact the law would be on her side and there would be a public outcry! How is this fair?

As for the defamatory comments he has contacted the police who can do nothing though they have given him a crime number in case of escalation. He knows about the comments through mutual friends and will not sink to her level to post comments himself and has requested that they don't either as he believes this will fuel her lies that he is 'controlling'.
Response from CaroleAH made on 27th Mar 2021 12:40:10 > @Fightingon
It sounds as though your son has done everything possible to remedy the situation and now, if possible, he needs to concentrate on his mental health and also that of his children who must be bewildered by the whole affair. If this woman won't accept maintenance for the baby (if she does, this implies that she recognises that he is the father and has parental access rights etc) then your son could possibly set up a bank account for the child and pay money into that so that there is a lump sum to give the child when he/she is older.
I'm sorry that I can't think of anything else which might help.
Response from Fightingon Original Poster made on 30th Mar 2021 03:21:36 > @CaroleAH
You are right Carole. His family and friends cannot believe this is happening and are supporting him. He is looking to find counseling though his GP more or less said there was not much available and he is searching privately. He does have some really bad days though is trying to stay on top of it. There is so much talk about violence towards women at the moment but very little mention of the insidious attacks on the mental health of fathers in these cases, which is so much harder to prove. Sadly he has friends and acquaintances who have gone through similar problems and in one case the man was convicted of abuse. I know him and a gentler kinder man you could not imagine. Some of his friends had even witnessed her attacking him physically but this was not followed up. He had a complete breakdown and several of the other men we know have committed suicide as a result of being denied access to their children, even after court orders have been fought for. It is so easy for a mother to claim the child is ill or any other excuse and it seems almost impossible to implement the court orders without other lengthy legal processes. Please don't get me wrong, my heart goes out to genuinely abused women but the cruelty of denying a child the right to a father by using false claims is despicable. Even the solicitor (a woman) has said this is becoming very common.

Sorry for going on. You have caught me after a very bad day as he is now not only worried about the situation but the effect on his other children and the rest of the family. This woman seems to have power over all of us and there is nothing we can do, at least in the short term and meanwhile this poor baby is growing and developing without half of his family. Thank you for listening.

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