Lost Love
Watch this postI recently lost the love of my life suddenly to cancer 2 weeks ago.
I am smart and realistic person who knows that time will heal my broken heart and happy memories will replace my darkness. But I just can't seem to figure out HOW this will happen.
I am in such a dark and lonely place and I know I am not alone.
Please if you have been where I am, how do I survive this?💔
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Sending you kind thoughts.
My husband and best friend died 20 years ago. It was a shock
to me. I have no children. For me to keep going, I went for long
walks and that really did me good. Writing in a journal about
whatever came to mind, using bad language if needed to express
my anger and then I tore up the pages. I took trips solo and that
helped me. Hope this helps.
So sorry to hear about your sad loss - you sound utterly bereft and I only wish that I had a magic wand to wave and words of wisdom that would make things easier for you. I think that first and foremost you must allow yourself to grieve and if that means shutting yourself away for a while and sobbing then that is what you must do. However, do not reject any offers of meeting up with friends and carrying on with life. You are only young and still have the greater part of your life ahead of you and I'm sure that your partner would not wish you to be unhappy for the rest of your life.
You need to take baby steps to start with and only do things and see the people that you feel comfortable with. Remember that many people won't know what to say to you and it may appear as if they are trying to avoid you. It is difficult in a way talking to a bereaved person because you don't know if they want to share their grief or if they want to talk about the more mundane problems of everyday living and keep their grief private. You will have to take the lead on that and if you want to talk about your partner and all the love and happy times which you shared then most people will join in and the chat will turn to "do you remember when?" and eventually your tears will turn to smiles as you remember daft things which were said and done.
The first twelve months are possibly the worst as you remember birthdays, Christmas, New Year and other anniversaries without your loved one. You will never forget him but, believe me, the pain in your heart will recede as time goes on.
Remember - baby steps to start with and be kind to yourself. I'm happy to chat either in this forum or in a private chat message. My thoughts are with you.
Carole