Man at Work - looking for relationship advice
Watch this postThe man = single - no girlfriend, in 60's, at work he finds me as soon as I arrive. He then finds me throughout the day. He has found out loads about me and shows a great deal of interest in me. He is an intensely private man and lives on his own.
He remembers everything I tell him and he talks about me a lot. He says I make him nervous - he is a little shy.
Me= widow in my 60's- like this man. He was in a really angry mood one day and I didn't realise. I asked him out and he said "I don't think so".
Since this he has carried on asking about me and seeking me out at work. Recently, he asked whether I still visit my husband's grave which I thought was odd. He is so private that he doesn't always answer questions people ask him but we know he is definitely single, no GF, not gay, and lives alone.
He seems to have had a very bad life via his mum/dad/siblings. What is this man up to? He constantly looks out for me and my safety. I like him but I am confused.
Is he just playing silly games?
I could do with some good, friendly advice.
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(a) very nervous about striking up a new relationship due to a terrible past relationship tarnishing his opinion of women in general so that perhaps your invitation caught him off-guard and his refusal was a knee-jerk reaction which he now regrets, or
(b) he is in fact already in a relationship which no one knows about, whether platonic or otherwise, or simply with his family if any
(c) he is connecting with you as you are in a similar age, stage of life, situation as him, and you seem very friendly, but it may be he doesn't want it to go beyond just an office friendship; or
(d) has some form of personality disorder, autism (thus lack of social skills and ability to relate) and
(e) his curiosity is unhealthy, a possibility you can't ignore.
I think that I would be friendly but emotionally guarded and see if I could find out anything more about him through discreet and subtle questioning of him, himself, generally without raising suspicions from colleagues or other information eg online, social media etc.
If he persists in extracting personal information from you without providing any reason for his interest I would be very concerned, personally. His interest alas could simply arise from loneliness, a parallel of his life with your life, birds of a feather etc and/or a lack of friends on his side for whatever reason and he is giving out the wrong signals. You would expect a reciprocal exchange of information from anyone interested in a relationship. Good luck!
I agree men always say women are hard to understand but men can give us a run for our money as well.
Take care, Silveroctopus, and keep in touch either on this open forum or in private chat. Carole