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Hi All

Have you any experience of moving somewhere new on your own? I would love some input into my plan for the future, if you would be so kind.

My circumstances are as follows:

I have found myself a bit isolated since I am widowed and no longer out at work. I seem to have only acquaintances rather than close friends nearby. I have joined clubs and keep busy with hobbies, but the few people I have met seem set in their existing groups of friends or are reluctant to do anything in the evening. I have retired before getting my state pension as I no longer feel well enough to work.

Lack of funds is stopping me doing more on my own.

So I have come up with a plan to sell my home and rent somewhere instead; this will give me some more disposable income, enabling me to do more and to travel to meet old friends and family. It would also take away some concerns re house maintenance.

Now for my curved ball…… It has been suggested to me that I move 100+ miles away to Warwickshire…… a beautiful area with plenty of new places for me to explore and good transport links for visiting friends and family. I have done some online investigating and it certainly has potential. Now I am wondering what pitfalls there might be that I have not thought of.


Created By on 10/03/2015

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11th Sep 2015 11:38:24
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I upped sticks 9 years ago to Poole, Dorset. No reason why this area. But chose out of the blue. Had a bad marriage..and needed solace. Leaving my children (5) was the worst thing. They couldn't (wouldn't come) as they all had their lives in London.
I could have stuck with the life..but it was unbearable for me...
Very happy in such a beautiful area...great beaches..Blue forest on doorstep and only max 2 hours commute to visit children.
I wouldn't ever go back...move forwards is my "motto"
I was alone and still live alone..but have settled well and have my life.
Just going to the beach to watch the world go by is enough for me.
Don't need money to do that...I pay my way myself and have asked for nothing...Very much happier these days. x
29th Dec 2020 20:39:11 (Last activity: 17th Feb 2021 19:07:11)
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Hi I’m planning to move to Eastbourne or Chichester. Semi retirement. A few friends in the area but moving on my own away from family. Any suggestions on these areas or anywhere you would recommend close by. I enjoy walking, music and theatre. So really a small town rather than village life. Must be also near a station to London. Thanks....
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 29th Dec 2020 23:02:57
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Response from ozziegirl made on 15th Jan 2021 18:03:01
I think both Chichester and Bournemouth are good options. Take a look at Lewes too. It's got a lot going on and is supposed to be a lovely place to live.
Response from Streudal made on 17th Feb 2021 19:07:11 > @ozziegirl
Hi .....where abouts in Auss?? I lived there for 10 fun filled years 🙂
4th Feb 2021 03:25:02 (Last activity: 4th Feb 2021 08:19:40)
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Hello ....I have moved around an awful lot Uk, France, Australia. Just within France the expat community varied tremendously across regions. Important to rent first and in the Uk i found it quite useful to stand in a queue in a PO to gauge atmosphere. Although this is pretty impossible during Covid. Its very easy to think the grass is greener on the other side - there is also equity release for you if its mainly a money move. I found a perfect town in my travels but it is further north - a place called Southwell near Notts. 5yrs ago it was a lovely diverse little town with its own Cathedral, special shops and a really friendly attitude. I remember sitting in a cafe one day looking at tourist info and a lady came up to me out of the blue to offer help. Right opposite there was another cafe with a group of people from an Italian conversation class. Wish I were there now as its not too friendly where I live. This my first post so hoping to make friends along the way 🙂
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 4th Feb 2021 08:19:40
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20th Nov 2020 13:26:09 (Last activity: 15th Jan 2021 18:08:28)
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Good luck with your move, you will be surprised how strong you are doing this. I moved from Scotland to Berkshire 15 years ago on my own. Although it was lonely to start off with, I like where I live and have made friends (albeit they don't all live near me). I have thought of moving again as I took early retirement this year and it doesn't seem a scary option this time as I did it before but don't know what I want at the moment. Before you decide where you want to go decide what it is you want from an area. I like it this far South as the weather is much better and I am in a location that I can get to a beach within 1.5 hours, Airports 30 mins away (as I like to travel) and the area is safe.
Response from ozziegirl made on 15th Jan 2021 18:08:28
Yes, I agree with Angela. I think it's very wise to perhaps rent for while in the area you think you'd like to move to. Or at least do multiple weekend trips with AirBnB or SisterStay or the like. Find out how friendly it is and get a feel for prices. Maybe see what local groups there are. Check out on MeetUp whether there are active groups around your main interests.
14th Jan 2021 18:17:29 (Last activity: 14th Jan 2021 20:23:58)
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Hi I'm in exactly the same position as you describe.. I was widowed in April and my young daughter moved back home. It was at the start of the covid outbreak and she had just split up from her boyfriend. A mix of practical and emotional reasons. She is adrift. My priority is to make sure she is stabilised in her life and then consider moving. Its good to know others out there feel the same as I do in terms of moving after a bereavement. Thanks
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 14th Jan 2021 20:23:58
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13th Dec 2020 03:31:43 (Last activity: 13th Dec 2020 08:43:30)
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Moving to a new location is a good decision for the persons facing bad experiences in their current location. Back in 2018, I faced a bad time in Arlington where I was living with my sweet wife and 2 kidos. It was very difficult for me to make the decision to move to a new place. But the environment around me forced me to move. Finally, I moved to Fort Worth and thanks to Invoke Moving ( the movers helped me make all moving things easier.

Now, It is about 2 years that I'm happily residing in Fort Worth. I believe moving to a new place is not a bad idea if you feel uncomfortable living in your location.

Thank You
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 13th Dec 2020 08:43:30
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18th Nov 2020 17:57:01 (Last activity: 18th Nov 2020 23:13:34)
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Hi, just seen your comment. I am moving to Norfolk within next few weeks. Up on the north coast. Hoping people are friendlier there than where I currently live in Essex.
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 18th Nov 2020 23:13:34
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26th Aug 2020 15:36:50 (Last activity: 31st Oct 2020 15:56:24)
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Before i decided to retire to the seaside here in Torquay i used to spend the odd weekend in differnet places to try them out, especially in winter. I visited 17 seaside towns over 4 years to get a feel for each place. I decided to be near Babbacombe as there were over 50 clubs around Torbay area. I also volunteer for our local Hospice 3 times a week which i am missing dreadfully. I do an over 60's swim as well and we have coffee afterwards which i am missing dreadfully until both things comes back. I cannot tell you how much pleasure i get from volunteering . I would study the area before you move, visit and talk to people. Good luck.
Response from susikins61 made on 30th Oct 2020 19:10:46
I would highly recommend where i live here in Torquay, so friendly and so many things you can join here. Moved around with my hubbys career but i am originally from Yorkshire but not lived there since i got married in 1979. Looked at 17 seaside resorts over 5 years whilst thinking about retirement and waiting for my son and daughter to finish at University and start working. It has been lovely to be able to walk down by the sea without the tourists here i must admit but very sad for all the businesses here that rely on tourism too. But my aqufit for the over 60's now resumed though sadly we cannot have coffee afterwards. Back doing my voluntary shift for the Hospice, so far , so good. Have a lovely weekend.
Response from susikins61 made on 31st Oct 2020 15:56:24
WE CERTAINLY KNOW WE HAVE WEATHER DOWN HERE, STORM Aiden certainly was noisey last night. Got some huge Liners and Cruise ships sheltering in the bay. I did not realise how huge they are until you get close up. My home is quite high up so i feel the winds, my neighbour has a tree down but thankfully it fell on his back lawn. Calm now so a quiet evening ahead i hope.
19th Jun 2020 12:40:27 (Last activity: 19th Jun 2020 13:52:04)
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I am in a s similar situation. 75 years young, widowed no children. While I have a beautiful flat in London it get quite lonely.

I am thinking of moving into a retirement village somewhere,, whe 're one can hopefully meet like-minded People. Would love to hear from.some one who has.made the move and is contended.
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 19th Jun 2020 13:52:04
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21st May 2020 09:41:36
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Hi, After I lost my hubby I decided to sell up and move with my young cat from Bedfordshire to Norfolk. This meant having a one and half hours drive to see one son+ his family and a three + hours drive to see my other son + his family. However I soon made friends and I am really content and happy. The lock down has obviously affected travelling to see my family and them coming to see me but we keep in touch through social media and phone calls. Not the same as having a physical hug but I don't feel abandoned. Being able to sew, read and chat/text/use messenger etc keeps me up to date with things. I'm glad I took the step to move on from my old home. I am fortunate that I do drive. With hubby no longer with me it was for me the ideal move. I've been on my own for seven years now and don't regret moving to a new place.
6th Mar 2020 18:12:15 (Last activity: 7th Mar 2020 14:58:07)
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Thank you everyone, for your positive replies.
I actually live near the sea now but want to have a bolt hole inland!
I shall go ahead and investigate the area I love, there are parks, specialist shops, buildings of historic interest etc., to explore. Always feel as if I have ‘gone home’ when I visit, getting excited already!
Response from Susi23 made on 6th Mar 2020 18:37:51
I will E7D, it may take a while though!

I hope I can get used to being more practical when I am staying there too, can hardly keep ringing up my husband for help with burst pipes etc can I? Haven’t lived by myself for so long, and son and daughter live miles away. Time to face up to a new way of life!
Response from CaroleAH made on 7th Mar 2020 11:24:59
Great news, Susi. I know what you mean about doing the practical things. Before Christmas I had to change a circular fluorescent light tube in the bathroom. Did that okay but the light still wasn't right so I thought perhaps the starter "thingy" needed changing as well. Took the old one to the DIY shop and the very helpful gentleman found the correct size for me - replaced that and the light came on straight away without flickering. Felt as though I had won the lottery!!! Clipped the shade back into position .......... then during the night, the shade fell off (it's an uplighter - fortunately plastic) with such a clatter and scared me half to death. Thank goodness I didn't have a burglar and there was no damage to the shade and it is now hanging securely 🙂 Baby steps to start with but you will soon get more confident. Find out where to turn the gas, electricity and water off and have an emergency supply of candles and matches or torches in case of power cuts.
Response from Susi23 made on 7th Mar 2020 12:50:13
Thank you CaroleAH, that is really reassuring. You are right about the baby steps. Am looking up little properties online in my chosen area, don’t really know anyone there yet (ages since I lived there) but will get out and meet people.
Don’t think my husband will even notice that I won’t be living in the family home all of the time, he just does his own thing!
Response from CaroleAH made on 7th Mar 2020 14:58:07
Unless your husband is totally self-sufficient in your marital home i.e. does his own cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing etc he will soon notice that you are not there keeping things on an even keel. When you have bought your new property it might be worth investigating what the local U3A does in your chosen area. I've made loads of new friends since I joined and go on days out and holidays with them as well as reading books way out of my comfort zone in the book group. This is just the start of your adventure!
2nd Mar 2020 06:59:39 (Last activity: 2nd Mar 2020 22:51:43)
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Hi, I`m new here also.

I`m not single but live with my husband as friends really, after many years together. We do not want to separate, there are many advantages to staying married for us.

However I am very independent and like to do my own thing, I have inherited some money from relatives which is mine to spend. I like where we live but really want to have a place of my own too, at the other end of the county, about 25 miles away. I grew up there and absolutely love the area, visiting is not good enough!

My husband is set in his ways and won`t move there permanently but has no objection to me buying a little holiday home for myself. He has a hobby that takes him away quite a lot anyway.

Am I being selfish or weird? I do love the idea but get a niggling feeling that I will feel guilty because I shall not be doing the conventional thing.

Love reading about others who have moved away.
Response from Tr1sh made on 2nd Mar 2020 08:47:38
A holiday home by the sea sounds lovely Susi. Good luck 🙂
Response from CaroleAH made on 2nd Mar 2020 16:03:22
I would go for it, Susi. As long as you can afford the upkeep of a holiday home, why wouldn't you? It's actually no else's business and if it makes you happy I can't see any reason why you wouldn't. Good luck and do let us know how you get on 🙂
Response from SilverBlue made on 2nd Mar 2020 21:40:35
Go for it Susi, sounds lovely to have a home by the sea, I hope you find what you are looking for.
Response from Tr1sh made on 2nd Mar 2020 22:51:43
You are right! I was sure Susi mentioned the sea! 🙂
10th Feb 2020 13:51:28 (Last activity: 29th Feb 2020 08:35:33)
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Hi all, another newbie I'm afraid!
I am 66years old, and have arrived at a totally new lifestyle for 2020.
I have just retired.
I have just separated following my wifes announcement of an established alternative relationship.
I have put my house on the market, and after splitting the proceeds will have to move to new location to afford to buy again.
So, all to look forward to, new lifestyle, new friends and best experiences.
I hope this site will be helpful in moving forward.
Response from Tr1sh made on 10th Feb 2020 16:50:19
Hi Mark.

I too have just retired, it takes a bit of getting used to but you are obviously dealing with a the additional issues of moving and starting afresh. It's probably the best way to go, move on and have new adventures.

All the best

Response from CaroleAH made on 28th Feb 2020 10:07:47
Hi Mark,
Good luck with you new life - you sound very positive about it. The same thing happened to me 7 years ago - my partner announced that after 10 years together that we were incompatible; the week after I moved out there were photos all over Facebook of him on holiday with his new floozy!!! All very hurtful, but it certainly gave me the incentive to move on with my life . I'm fortunate in that I moved to a village about 3 miles away from where I used to live so I kept my old friends, made lots of new ones and now have a very busy lifestyle which keeps me out of mischief 🙂
I hope that all goes well with your house purchase and that you can start to enjoy your retirement doing things that you want to do.
Response from SilverBlue made on 28th Feb 2020 13:03:49
Hi Mark

Good luck with your move, retirement takes a bit of getting used to but you are going to be busy moving and hopefully creating a new life for yourself.

Have fun and lots of adventures.
Response from Markthebuilder made on 28th Feb 2020 15:06:08
Hi SilverBlue,
Thanks for your comments.
I fully intend to go onwards and upwards on my journey through life!!
There is no stopping a man who has just found the excitement of supermarket shopping on a Friday morning!!!
Response from Markthebuilder made on 29th Feb 2020 08:35:33
Fabric softeners? Oh... I have just looked them up. Perhaps I ought to go and buy some!!
28th Feb 2020 08:01:08 (Last activity: 28th Feb 2020 15:08:06)
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Ouch mark that sounds difficult. You sound positive and k wish you all the best in your journey. Ali
Response from Markthebuilder made on 28th Feb 2020 15:08:06
Thank you Al!!i
6th Jun 2019 14:45:17 (Last activity: 9th Feb 2020 17:34:43)
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Hello I am new please be kind I am a bit shy also I didn't realise this was based in the UK but, we are all human beings with feelings thoughts opinions. So , my brief issue is I find myself at my age 60 needing to move, I'm in a small town right now, everyone is married how I ended up here is not a pretty story , but that is the past. I need to find some friends get out socialize , as this is not the type of town to do those things in trust me, when you see people in the corner with white sheets over their body you know your in the wrong town. With no culture here, single people, nothing, how do I know where to move to? I have no family left no friends, and am very cautious in that now, how do I know where to go have been researching till I'm blind but these websites contradict themselves sometimes . Anyway wondered what anyone thought. I'm a very caring person thinking of others first which is probably how I ended up in this situation. I'm staying with someone right now, and my job I can do anywhere in the world . Well thank you for anyone who read this God bless.
Response from Cottontail made on 9th Feb 2020 17:34:43
Hi Hayleygirl, must say my heart sank when I read some of the posts here. So many lonely people. I know that feeling, but it is universal not locational. However, that in mind, may I throw my suggestion in for consideration? Cornwall. You have the best of both worlds here, sea & coastline, towns and country. We are the most welcoming of people and regard ourselves as Cornish not British (Celts you see) Why is it that so many people holiday here every year? To recouperate? To enjoy the seaside, beaches? To escape from the boring 9 to 5 ? but they have to go back we have that 365 of the year. I am privilleged and maybe a touch biased as I'm many generations Cornish but I appreciate that I am very lucky to live in this part of the world (We Cornish smile a wry smile as we know we have the best kept secret and wouldn't want to be anywhere else).
The situation many find themselves in including myself, when children have grown maybe moved away, parents deceased, friends married and doing their own thing etc will not change simply by moving, but what will make it easier and different is choosing wisely..... We can still join the "Rat race" further "up country" should we choose to do so, but are always happy to return to the easier, welcoming, pace of life that is Cornwall. If you're unsure of an area, take a holiday/ short break there see how it makes you feel, the atmosphere, are people easy to approach and talk to? the culture of an area etc. I really hope you all find what you are looking for and I wish you good luck in your decisions and search for a more forfilling life. There is an alternative to the present situation you know, just got to be brave and take the leap, Good Luck and all the best. x
31st Jan 2020 08:29:05
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I know this is an old original post but it's so similar to my own experience that I just had to contribute. I lived in Suffolk over 30 years and met my second husband there. We owned a Park Home and were very comfortable. His sister lived round the corner and my brother and his family lived five minutes drive away. My grown up children and grandchildren lived not too far away. We regularly met friends at the local pub. Then my husband became ill. He died almost 2 years ago. My daughter and youngest grandchildren moved to Cornwall and, although I still had family and friends in Suffolk, I needed a change. Like you, suffolknan, I felt like selling my home and moving into rented so that I no longer had the maintenance costs and to release capital that would benefit me for my remaining years. I'm 72. I sold my home and, since November 2019 have been living in a rented cottage in Cornwall. It's a big change and I love it. I no longer have central heating, I have a wood burner and I no longer live in a bungalow, I have stairs to climb. As it's been wet most of the time since I moved, I haven't met many people yet but I have fantastic neighbours, and a pub and community shop a mere few minutes walk away plus I am close to my daughter, her husband and my young granddaughters. The family and friends I left behind have promised to visit in the Summer and I have changed my routine life so much that it feels like a new lease of life and I love it. I hope your move turned out as good as mine has.
25th Jan 2020 11:47:16
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Hi Suffolknan

I am in a similar position! I moved within Warwickshire ie from Rugby to Shipston on Stour, which is just on the edge of the Cotswolds. It is lovely here. 9 miles from Stratford on Avon . How did the move work out for you, if you don't mind me asking?
29th Dec 2019 13:25:56 (Last activity: 8th Jan 2020 00:26:11)
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Hi there, I'm newly joined, today! What caught my interest, apart from the prospect of the social interaction, was Suffolknan's posting on relocation. I found the site because I had Googled, "Relocating alone at 62"! I know the posting was a long time ago so am wondering how it woeked out for her, as I'm now in a similar position. I have a lovely home, good neighbours and a good job. All fine on the surface and yet I feel so isolated. With no family (my only daughter lives in Australia) I find that although some of my neighbours are friendly and helpful ... even walking my dog regularly when I was ill, at the weekends and main holidays it's all about family and I can go for days without seeing anyone. A couple of acquaintances I hoped might develop into friendships seem to have fizzled out. It's not that I'm needy; maybe it's just harder to make meaningful connection later in life.
I think what I'm trying to say, because it's what I feel, is are there really any pitfalls to relocating? If I add up what I have where I am, what's the real value? I love my home but I have to work full time to keep and maintain it, so I if I downsized I'd have more money and time. I'd also be able choose a nicer environment; more rural or even coastal. I'd love to hear from anyone who has done this. By the way - I am female - Henry was my old Labrador!
Response from wuzupcupp1 made on 8th Jan 2020 00:26:11
Hey! Henri! The "new friends" thing is definitely more difficult ....I have made a few "quality" friends because I walk my dog 3 times per day!

I was widowed at 46...sold my home and moved, alone, from Louisiana to California into a apartment when I retired! The "upkeep" on a home that was 30 years old, and quite large, was draining me in every since of the word....let alone the constant flooding, flood insurance, and hurricanes to deal with. With an apartment, they do everything for you....and that means everything! Even light bulbs!

I rented out my home, first, on VRBO , a one year commitment, and traveled off and on between rentals that I vetted and oversaw myself. That was very easy and exciting at first but I began to feel like I was living out of a suitcase....which, of course, I was! It did afford me to decide without a doubt to move to a resort town in Southern California after spending 2 full months here.

You can make a "move" as easy as pie and affordable if you do your due diligence BEFORE you sell your home! If there is anything I can help you with, just let me know!

20th Dec 2019 15:38:33
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I hate to rain on your parade. I have another alternative. Move away but to a flat in Over 55 complex. I love it in my flat. We have just had a Christmas Party with quiz , lovely food. We have a social committee which have all sorts of things going on. Fish and Chip suppers, bus to restaurant amongst coffee mornings to raise valuable money for charity. Most are in your situation here . They are all over the country. Ours is McCathy and Stone. You can have a downstairs flat with piece of garden. We have gardeners do our big communal garden but some real gardeners help out when they want. You can join in for tea in morning and afternoon where you will find others doing the same. This is a great life and we will never have to move again as we have emergency buttons for when we may need them which is not yet for me. We have communal laundry or if you have bigger flat can have your own washing machine. I use laundry as gives me a chance for a gossip. If you want privacy you have lovely flat for anything you need. I love it!
20th Dec 2019 14:26:53
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I think you are doing the right thing . I cannot see any pit falls to be honest only positives . Money in your bank to enjoy some travel etc . New people who may be more willing to include you
Don’t leave it until you are too old you will regret it that’s for sure . Write a list and put what’s good about where you are and what’s not so good and then compare with same list of Warwickshire .
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