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New member in Scotland, chose Friendship would also like companionship.

Hi , I'm a loving and caring & friendly soon to be 65 year old, looking to find friendship & companionship in my life. I am relatively recently widowed and although I reached the depths of despair that you would understand, I with a little help from someone special, have risen back up to what might be called normality.


Even so life isn't 'complete' and I would like to expand my friend base. If nothing else but to give me an interest outside of my narrow little life.


Despite my recent woes, I am fairly positive, happy, settled to a degree. I realise life does and must go on. More importantly, I still have so much more to give. I am up for chats, jokes, stories and listening. Looking forward to hearing from any like-minded folks in need of some intelligent contact especially during this strange and awful year.


I live in Fife, Scotland although distance is no object to an online friendship. Mike.


Created By on 10/12/2020

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Candy Cane
31st Mar 2021 00:20:41 (Last activity: 31st Mar 2021 07:50:25)
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Hi Mike! I too became a widow several years ago. I am 68 and have 4 wonderful grand children. My husband and I lived on a small fam and we were both teachers. I have defendants from Five land. Their last Nome was Five!!! I am living in Western Pennsylvania.. Love to chat with you..
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 31st Mar 2021 07:50:25
Hi Candy Cane,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

ShirleyVee
10th Dec 2020 13:51:39 (Last activity: 7th Jan 2021 00:05:30)
1
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Hi Mike. I too am widowed - albeit for nearly 10 years. I live in West Yorkshire but visit Scotland where my son and his family live in Rosneath. I miss them very much and have considered moving closer but to be honest I really don't think I could cope with 350 days rain a year! (My estimate 🙂 )
I am 67 and live alone so have had quite a solitary year apart from caring for my dad.
I hope you get plenty of people to chat to - I find it quite difficult to know how to talk to a complete stranger but I pop on to this site every couple of days to put my two pennyworth in when I can.
Enjoy finding new people
Shirley
Response from MikeB322 Original Poster made on 13th Dec 2020 00:32:07
Hi Shirley, thanks for your message. Wasn't it Jim Reeves who said a stranger's just a friend you do not now. Oh no too cheesy lol. I can imagine it's been a tough year for you. I live with my son but it often feels like I'm alone too. Steady with the rain comment it's no more than 349 days a year.

I'll be glad to share two pennyworths with each other. You don't mind Scottish currency do you? have you got a bubble to enter into for this Christmas?

I think I'll just be having a bubble of 2 - less washing up and more mince pies for me.

OK, take care & stay safe.

Mike from Fife.
Response from ShirleyVee made on 13th Dec 2020 10:57:15
Hiya Mike
Christmas will be just me and my 90 year old dad as it was last year. He doesn't say much and hopefully he'll stay awake till dinnertime - he's lovely though.
Do you put decorations up for the two of you? I confess I don't bother much with the festivities since the grandchildren moved up there 3 years ago. They lived in a caravan for a year while they got sorted and I was babysitting for new year when there appeared a gale force wind and lashing rain... sheesh! That was an experience! Of course here its all blue skies and sunshine....
Do you have grandchildren? I wish I could set a date to visit them - and their parents of course - but hey, who knows when that will be.
Stay safe in your bubble - let's hope not for much longer
Bye for now
Shirley
Response from MikeB322 Original Poster made on 15th Dec 2020 21:36:13 > @ShirleyVee
Hi Shirley, I hope that things go well with you and your dad on the day. I put a tree up with as many lights as I can get away with on it. I have some illuminated decorations; a couple of candle bridges; and some telephone box 'snow globe' type things. I don't have hanging decorations. That's about it.

It will be very low key here. I will try to make it as special as I can for the two of us and make a decent lunch.

I do have Grandchildren but nowhere near here. I think they are ok.

Wind and rain? Up Here? never!

Take care.
Response from ShirleyVee made on 18th Dec 2020 13:54:08 > @MikeB322
Hello Mike
It's been a really bad week for me with one of my grandsons very ill in Govan children's hospital with something as yet undiagnosed - very frightening. He seems to be improving but still not able to eat - then to cap it all my dad fell and broke his collar bone so am now staying with him. A good end to a seriously rubbishy year. - not.
Anyway - have you ever been down to my part of the world? I live in Huddersfield - summer wine country though that doesn't make me Nora Batty (if you're familiar with the programme). It's not a bad place although I confess if I'm not too old and fit enough if and when the time comes I shall look towards Northumberland as a final move.
I looked to see where Fife is and see it's by Edinburgh - now there's a train station! Or am I the only one who struggles with the platform layout there? It's quite possible it's me - my sense of direction has always been lacking .
Anyhow - time for a Cuppa with the invalid - bye for now
Shirley
Response from Dani made on 18th Dec 2020 15:33:22
Hello Mike and Shirley,
It really is an odd season, isn’t it? I’m so sorry about the medical problems in your family, Shirley, and hope that everyone is feeling a little better soon.
It’s funny how many of us have ended up living with a member of our family other than a partner. I was widowed a little while ago and have an adult son living with me. It’s not a problem, and we get on well, but it’s not what I would have chosen at this stage in my life, and it certainly puts constraints on one’s freedom. We also have his children to stay very often; again, delightful but limiting in terms of having a life of one’s own.
So I guess that this Christmas we need to count every single tiny blessing, love everyone we’re gifted with and share as much joy as we can.
I wish you both, and everyone who might read this, peace, good health and hope for the future. ( and a glass of bubbly)
Dani
Response from ShirleyVee made on 19th Dec 2020 12:21:25 > @Dani
Hello Dani
Thanks for the message. Whereabouts are you?
Funny thing with people eh - the other mans grass and all that - I would give a great deal for visiting grandchildren but mine are 300 miles away and in these awful times it's not an option.
I used to have a few family members living close by but 2 recently died and everyone else - bar my dad - have moved away..
Anyway it's nice that you've joined in - do you spend much time on the net? I'm not very tech savvy, just enough to get by but struggling a bit with this because I don't have my nice new tablet with me and am using my phone. I shall pick it up tomorrow when I take dad for a ride out.
Meanwhile have a lovely Christmas and perhaps we'll speak again... Keep safe
Shirley
Response from MikeB322 Original Poster made on 19th Dec 2020 23:14:56 > @ShirleyVee
Shirley, I hope that your Grandson gets better very soon, It must be a terrible worry for you all. pass on my best wishes to your dad for a speedy recovery. I injured my shoulder in August and it is no better now. I think it has developed into a frozen shoulder. I've been referred to the hospital but I won't hold my breath on tha one.

I can't say I 've been to Huddersfield, but I have been to Yorkshire a few times. Northumberland is nice - plus it's closer to Scotland. I'm not keen on Edinburgh Waverley at all. Haymarket is better, very basic just two sides.

News of the latest restrictions have come through today. We're no further forward than we were in March. Let's hope that the vaccine works.

OK, you take care and stay safe and I'll think of you poorly family.

Mike
Response from MikeB322 Original Poster made on 19th Dec 2020 23:21:18 > @Dani
Hi Dani, I'll have that bubbly tomorrow , it's my Birthday. The day I should have become an OAP . I think our government just wants us to work until we drop to save paying out pensions at all.

Like you I am recently widowed with an adult son living with me. I wouldn't have chosen this either.

Covid will not really have any impact on our Christmas at all. It will be just anothe rday , although I will try to make it as special as we can.

You take care and best wishes to you and your family during this 'festive' season.

Mike
Response from ShirleyVee made on 24th Dec 2020 10:08:41
Hello Mike
Well grandson is home but still undiagnosed so I think it's going down as a viral thing. He still has problems keeping anything down but has started to improve. My dad meanwhile has now been diagnosed with alzheimer's- I can see me spending more time here with him that at my own home, I really must bring my tablet!
All set for tomorrow? Christmas all bought in? They say the only difference between Sunday dinner and xmas dinner is xmas day but i wonder how many people still have a roast every Sunday? Definitely something that belongs in my childhood- somewhere along the way weekend merged with weekdays, probably when shops became forever open eh.
Anyway, you and your son have a lovely Christmas as best you can...
Shirley
Response from MikeB322 Original Poster made on 28th Dec 2020 23:27:43 > @ShirleyVee
Shirley, I'm sorry not to reply sooner. I'm afraid I usually rely on notifications which don't appear to happen on this forum. I will check more frequently.

I hope that your Christmas went as well as it could. My lad and I got by and got on OK on the day. It is is a quiet time for us. Only the second Christmas with just the two of us.

Alzheimers. Oh dear, I fear things are going to get tougher for you in the coming months & years. It could become all consuming but remember that you have a life to live yourself. Please utilise all the care and services that will be available to you.

This week is the time we should be looking ahead to a new year and hopefully new & exciting things. Plan for yourself and then make things fit around those rather than the other way about. easier said than done I know..

Look after yourself.
Mike
Response from ShirleyVee made on 31st Dec 2020 12:48:24 > @MikeB322
Hello Mike - Yes I know how difficult 'occasion' times are when you've lost someone close but it does get better. When I think of my husband now he belongs in a different life, it will be 10 years in march since he died and since then I have moved into a retirement flat which I have never shared with anyone so I don't have lingering memories. My mum on the other hand died 16 months ago so it was the 2nd Xmas for my dad and me too - and yes, it still feels raw.

I read that your son is on the autism spectrum - does he require care? My grandson - the still poorly one! - is also autistic, though high functioning. He is 10 at the moment and I don't really know what to expect as he gets older... he is also severely dyslexic and dyspraxic so is heading for a nightmare few years at secondary school 🙁

How are you getting on with the tier system? We escaped tier 4 for a little while longer which meant I managed to get my hair cut today - a little bit shorter than usual to last me through another lock down (or two).

Anyway - enjoy your new year's eve, I shall be tucked up in bed when it arrives- and speak again soon...
Shirley
Response from MikeB322 Original Poster made on 7th Jan 2021 00:05:30 > @ShirleyVee
Hi Shirley, Happy New Year. I went to bed early watched the bells at midnight and woke up without a hangover.

I am my son's carer, He would find it extremely difficult to live independently, so what will happen to him after I pass has preyed on my mind for the past 20 years. Today we had a telephone assessment for Employment Support Allowance which had us stressed to the max but I think we got on ok.

His time at school wasn't great despite it having a substantial support department. I find that our children with a 'hidden' disability really get a raw deal. Prepare for confrontations.

Tier system? We are on full lockdown. That plus the awful weather has kept me in all week.

Hopefully this , plus the vaccine will see an early end to this.

I hope that all is well with you. Stay safe. Mike
Maggie321
15th Dec 2020 20:34:08 (Last activity: 30th Dec 2020 16:11:00)
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Hi Mike. Sorry for your loss. I know how you must be feeling as I too was recently widowed...June to be precise. I am 63 years old. Like you i realise life goes on even if it is hard at times.

I live in the West Midlands. My family are very supportive but sometimes it's just nice to talk to someone outside the family. So look to making some new friends to chat to

Maggie
Response from MikeB322 Original Poster made on 15th Dec 2020 21:48:14
Hi Maggie, I am so sorry for your very recent loss. 6 months after my wife passed away I was a million miles away from a 'life goes on' attitude. Last Christmas came 5 months afterwards and both it and new year were tough times.

A year later it is better but it has to be worked at. With Winter, covid, lockdowns etc it would be very easy to slip backwards - I'm trying hard to not let that happen.

I am glad that you have a supportive family. My internet friends have been a great help.

My first wife came from the West Midlands - I was serving in the army abroad but spent a bit of time there aver the years. She came from Oldbury, by Smethwick my daughter was born in West Brom.

Long time ago now.

Stay safe and take care.

Mike
Response from Maggie321 made on 16th Dec 2020 15:42:13 > @MikeB322
Hi Mike.
It is still very tough at times. I have been through the "whats the point of it all" phase and still find it hard to get motivated with things. Christmas is one of the times I have been dreading and wish it would just pass me by. My daughters insist ii spend a lot of time with them and the grandchildren.....that helps a lot.

I was born in West Bromwich and have lived in Great Barr all my life. I am lucky that my family all still live near to me.

I look forward now to hopefully a better new year and with luck in time beginning to enjoy life again. Until then, it is just nice to make some new friends to chat to.

Best wishes
Maggie
Response from MikeB322 Original Poster made on 28th Dec 2020 23:41:13 > @Maggie321
Hi Maggie I hope that you got through Christmas OK. It's good that you have family near to you. It's just me and my boy here.

We had a decent day. Low key obviously but the meal was pretty good. Last Christmas was awful, Just another bad, bad day. This year still difficult but 100 times better.

With my 1st wife, we had a daughter born in West Bromwich. I remember buying my wedding suit in the town as well. It was bostin! My ex lived in Warley by Oldbury.

I hope that we all can have a better year. take care of yourself and don't get too low.

All the best
Mike
Response from Maggie321 made on 29th Dec 2020 11:04:46 > @MikeB322
Hi Mike

Christmas was emotional as I expected but with the support of my family, I managed to get through it ok. Expecting New Years Eve to be very emotional too. Probably sounds stupid but I will feel like I am leaving Rob behind!!

I hope you and your son have a Happy New Year.......indeed I hope 2021 is a better year for everyone.

Take care
Maggie
Response from MikeB322 Original Poster made on 30th Dec 2020 16:11:00 > @Maggie321
Oh Maggie, I know exactly how you feel. I hope that you don't feel that you are leaving Rob behind. The thought of wishing anyone a Happy New Year will obviously go against what you are feeling.

In my limited experience next Christmas will be better in that respect although there will still be sadness there. I try to remember the good Christmases that we did have and knowing that she would not want us to feeling sad.

I am not too bothered about what 2021 has in store. I can't see it being hugely different. What I want is that at this same time next year we all will be in a position to look ahead with optimism.

Take care Maggie, Keep your family as close as you can.

Mike
alusru
13th Dec 2020 10:26:07 (Last activity: 15th Dec 2020 21:28:57)
1
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Hi Mike, I'm pleased to see/hear you are looking for outside interests and contacts. This year has really brought home the fact that we humans are social animals
.
Until now I felt very comfortable being divorced and on my own. However, there really is too much of a good thing ! Intelligent conversation is desperately needed !

I live in lancashire, a long way from Fife. It seems a long time ago, but when the world was real I drove through your area quite a few times. It's a pretty part of Scotland . Have you ever been to lancashire?

Half of my extended family live here in England but the other half is in the USA, where I have lived for much of the time.
Keep in touch if you feel interested
Response from MikeB322 Original Poster made on 15th Dec 2020 21:28:57
Hi Alusru, Thanks for your message. I don't mind my own company but like you , it's nice to talk with someone else sometime. Aye, Fife is a nice place to be.

I've been in Lancashire a couple of times briefly. I meet up with an old army pal for reunions.

I've missed out on the last two reunions, this year thanks to Covid 19. I'll be glad when 2021 arrives but we won't be getting away from the virus anytime soon.

Stay safe and try to enjoy Christmas.
ecarg
13th Dec 2020 11:34:57
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HI Mike
Thankyou for your response.I have tried to private message you but the link isn't working .If you would like to try to private message me that would be great.
ecarg
10th Dec 2020 19:22:08 (Last activity: 13th Dec 2020 00:24:39)
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Hi Mike
I'm sorry that you have been recently bereaved
Your positive attitude is great ,intelligent contact has been in short supply this year .I'm not the Brain of Britain but am happy to chat online.I live in Dumfries and Galloway
Response from MikeB322 Original Poster made on 13th Dec 2020 00:24:39
Hello ecarg, Thank you for your message. I'd have to say my positivity isn't yet 100%.

I feel so much better being able to chat to someone. I did join the dating side but I don't really feel quite ready for that. It's hard to have a conversation trading set 'one liners' and I feel a little scared about being the stuff of someone's dreams. A 100% match on paper doesn't really mean anything .

Anyway, I'm Mike, I live in Glenrothes, Fife. I live with my Son who is aged 26. He is on the autistic spectrum but is intelligent, and a know all, lol. He is OK really but is a bit vulnerable.

I spend too much time on my PC but my hobbies are pretty much internet based. Main hobby currently is doing family tree research.

I follow Raith Rovers Football team which sometimes gets me down to Burn's country when the coronavirus isn't on the go.

OK, that's enough from me. I'll think of some things to ask you for later. Stay safe during this awful time.

Mike.
Sally - Silversurfer's Editor
10th Dec 2020 11:54:32
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Hello Mike and welcome - We also have a Local Community section - if you post this in our Local community section you may be able to connect with other members who are more local to you - https://www.silversurfers.com/silversurfers-local/

Hope this helps 🙂

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