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New partner

My new partner has been widowed for six years after a short (second) marriage. Her first marriage was ended sixteen years earlier in divorce in a potentially violent situation. I am having trouble living up to the expectations created by her second husband. She keeps photos of him all over the place and even gets up at night to look at them. I am feeling somewhat left out and am thinking of ending the connection. I would rather not bur can see no option at the moment.


Created By on 09/01/2017

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Georgie Girl
9th Jan 2017 10:56:18
0
Thanks for voting!
Morning orchardlane, how long have you been together? living together?
stuckinmani
10th May 2020 03:47:03 (Last activity: 10th May 2020 08:24:02)
0
Thanks for voting!
this post is almost 3 years old, just wondering how this is going? orchardlane
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 10th May 2020 08:24:02
Hi stuckinmani,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

SandieM1
2nd Jun 2018 19:54:34
0
Thanks for voting!
Before you leave. Try being you, just you for you. Your the one that matters x
CaroleAH
11th Jan 2017 23:58:01
1
Thanks for voting!
A priest once told me that if you are not "over" someone's death twelve months after the event - then you never will be. I thought at the time, and still do think, that this is a harsh, too generalistic point of view. However, once we have got through the first year of "firsts" - birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries, holidays etc without that loved one, whether it is a parent, sibling, partner or friend that we have lost, then we have to move on and carry on with our lives - hard as it may be because the alternative is sinking into a spiral of misery. Yes, there will always be memories and sometimes regrets but it sounds to me as though this lady needs counselling because she certainly isn't ready for a new relationship. You don't say if you are living together, Orchardlane. If you are, then it might be wise to move out and take a step back because otherwise you could end up being very bitter and hating this man, who may, or may not, have been a wonderful person. Feeling as though you have to compete with a former partner is not healthy for any relationship. You are you and should be appreciated for being the individual that you are. You don't have to break things off completely - if you enjoy each other's company then you could still meet up for meals or outings to the theatre etc without the added complication/pressures of a relationship. I do hope that the comments that have been made on this website have helped you.
[deleted]
9th Jan 2017 10:16:13 (Last activity: 9th Jan 2017 16:13:28)
1
Thanks for voting!
[deleted]
Response from jeanmark made on 9th Jan 2017 16:13:28
I have to agree with LittleMinx, the decision has to be what is going to make you happy. Maybe she wasn't really ready for another relationship as she doesn't to appear to have come to terms with her grief and as a result you are suffering.

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