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Lochinvar
20th Dec 2016 17:35:49
1
Thanks for voting!
Hiya njbuckeyenut, as a Scotsman Originally from Edinburgh I can really recommend it as the place to be, but as you are in the USA I would go to Canada lots of Scotsmen there and they know how to celebrate!!!
Response from njbuckeyenut made on 4th Jan 2017 22:53:08
Thanks so much for your suggestion. I really must put Scotland on my short list of places to visit...and soon! Happy New Years!
cloudless13
24th Dec 2016 19:42:39
1
Thanks for voting!
Well you cant beat London on New Years Eve. Sorry not sure if you are already living here?
Whatever you choose to do, look for something that will make you laugh, smile and feel happy.
Response from njbuckeyenut made on 4th Jan 2017 22:51:15
Thanks so much for your suggestion. I ended up going to a spa and enjoy a day of self indulgence, and then booked a trip to the Turks & Caicos later to escape the darker drearier days of winter! So it was a very Happy New Years! Hope you had one as well! Cheers to 2017!
Yodama
11th Dec 2016 15:33:39
1
Thanks for voting!
Always good to get a log cabin in the woods and dance under the stars. But if you are a party animal, Scotland is the best, Hogmanay is the old tradition, bagpipes, kilts, haggis, what more could you want.
Response from Lionel made on 11th Dec 2016 22:49:08
Personnally I'd avoid the kilt and haggis. Not got the legs for one nor the stomach for the other.

And bagpipes? Well, why would one wish to breathe into a sheep's bladder to produce what only a few people recognise as music? Sounds more like a ewe birthing the third of triplets to me.
Response from Yodama made on 12th Dec 2016 08:49:13
Too early to be laughing quite so heartily Lionel, so your not going to Scotland for Hogmanay I take it? I can imagine the bleating of the ewe.
Kilt's? I must say I do like a kilt though, all that lovely gear they dress up in, sporrans, very atmospheric and manly.
Response from jeanmark made on 12th Dec 2016 13:54:22
I love the sound of bagpipes and for kilt's, well along with a Scottish accent who can resist a man? Well obviously Lionel.
Response from ecarg made on 12th Dec 2016 14:41:08
As an English woman living in Scotland I have to say Hogmany in Scotland is not what it once was apart from the party in Edingburgh ,which by the way has probably sold out of tickets by now.,Celebrations have diminished.When I first hooked up with a Scotsman first footing was common and neighbours welcomed the first footers in with a lump of coal as your entry fee of course they were happier still if you had a bottle of whisky as well.The first footer should be dark and handsome my ex passed muster on this account but he looked bloody awful in a kilt being tall and lanky.As for the bagpipes the further away you can get from them the better - maybe seek some sunshine for you New Year break or book into a spa but whatever you do forget about making resolutions - waste of time .
Response from jeanmark made on 12th Dec 2016 16:22:54
The only resolution I make is not to make any resolutions!
Response from Yodama made on 12th Dec 2016 17:03:59
I love all the theatre of a Scottish marching band and the swinging kilts. There was a story that during the war they were such fierce fighters they were called 'The Ladies from Hell'.
Response from Lionel made on 12th Dec 2016 17:07:59
Shucks, I'll live to regret that comment, I can see!

Jeanmark, I can resist anything male, in a kilt or not. But, a girlfriend from the very early seventies, a wee Scots lassie, blue eyed and blonde, from Edinburgh, wore an above the knee kilt for a dinner date one evening in London. She caused a stir in the hotel restaurant.

Whoever got her was a very lucky man indeed. Sadly, in a way, it wasn't me. But it wasn't for the lack of trying!
Response from jeanmark made on 12th Dec 2016 18:16:16
There you go Lionel, I could easily resist a blue eyed blonde wearing a kilt. I've let many a young Scotsman go or maybe they were frightened off by my Glaswegian father!
Response from Lionel made on 12th Dec 2016 20:45:52
Ah! But if he were a blue eyed blonde Scots lad in kilt and sporan, well, who could say? Such a specimen might charm even a Glaswegian father.

As for me, I resist the bagpipes preferring the harmonica (resisted calling it the mouth organ for, well, maybe obvious reasons). Still play one to my wife's enduring displeasure.
Response from jeanmark made on 13th Dec 2016 12:42:49
Very few people could charm my father and certainly not someone after his daughters!

My father used to play the accordion and certainly knew how to get us to go to bed. As a young child I would sit and listen as if it as the most beautiful sound in the world. Oh the memories as despite his dementia he was still able to play until a few weeks before his death. He couldn't remember who I was but did know his musical instrument.
Response from Yodama made on 13th Dec 2016 15:04:25
jeanmark, dementia is cruel, strange the old memories are remembered and not the more recent ones. What happened to the accordian, did any of you carry on the tradition?

Lionel, I think you have the makings of a fine cowboy, sitting around a camp fire, playing away with a bit of beef jerky to sustain you. You have chosen a life not too far removed. I bet you have a wide brimmed hat.
Be careful! Too much harmonica playing "home on the range" may result in your wife pitching a tent for you under the stars.
Response from Yodama made on 13th Dec 2016 15:07:18
You see! you even say "shucks" Lionel, I rest my case.
Response from jeanmark made on 13th Dec 2016 15:30:20
Yes LittleMinx, dementia is cruel but real. My mother suffered more as he wasn't distressed by not remembering. No, no-one carried on the tradition and sadly my mother threw the accordion out never asking it either of us wanted to keep it. That's life.

I now have a picture of Lionel sitting round the camp fire, wide brimmed hat on head and playing "home on the range" on his harmonica. There are bound to be some farm animals listening!
Response from Yodama made on 13th Dec 2016 16:20:01
My mum had dementia in the latter days of her life, it was painful that she did not recognize us.



Let's hope Lionels harmonica playing does not resemble the sounds of his ewes giving birth. (There is a resemblance to the sound in the higher register.)
Or indeed to cause the onset of any ewes giving birth if they are unfortunate enough to be within earshot.
He has his home brew ale and, I am sure, is never short of sausages for his barbecue .
Response from Lionel made on 16th Dec 2016 00:01:27
Ah, Home On the Range, a Stetson, hoss tied to tumbleweed, a camp fire and Heinz Beenz in a dixie! Let's not speak of the 'cawfee,' brewed for hours over the camp fire. Nor the glistening stars overhead, the rattlers lurking nearby and the coyotes looking for a good meal.

I love Westerns, Rio Grande, High Noon, Destry Rides Again. Pure fantasy; it never happened and never could. But it beats Star Wars et al because, as with all nostalgia, we know how it ended.

The ending for me once was, 'get your hands out of my pants, you dirty beggar!'

Can't open a tin of Heinz Beans without remebering, and smiling!
Response from Yodama made on 16th Dec 2016 00:27:37
You forgot chawin' on a piece of tabaccy and hitting the spitoon at 10 paces.
The Western I loved was The Big Country an epic adventure.
Response from Yodama made on 18th Dec 2016 11:31:19
jeanmark is making a resolution not to make any resolutions for the upcoming New Year.

My resolution which I make every year is:
" I must stop procrastinating, ah well , maybe I'll leave it till next year",
Response from jeanmark made on 18th Dec 2016 15:12:53
Nice one LittleMinx. As you are aware it is often said that when you see the first and last letters in a word you know what the word is. Well, a number of years back and before I retired, my husband gave me a poster to put on my office wall - 'Procrastination is the thief of time'. I read the Pro.......ion and thought why is that the thief of time!
Response from Yodama made on 18th Dec 2016 16:24:48
Funny jm, maybe in a glass half full way you thought it was promotion.
My father used to say that to me, wonder why?

I was going to write a song about the absence of Silver Surfers until I saw your post.

♫ Where have all the surfers gone
Long time passing
Where have all the surfers gone
Long time ago
Where have all the surfers gone
beamed up every single one
Oh when will they return
Oh when will they return?♫
With apologies to Peter. Paul and Mary.
Response from ecarg made on 18th Dec 2016 17:42:45
Getting used to the new format ,still can't find my private chats.
Response from Yodama made on 18th Dec 2016 18:14:50
It is on the far right of the screen escarg, You will see the two icons for chat and forum. just as it used to be at the bottom of the screen, I find this easier and a good deal better, Good luck with it.
Response from jeanmark made on 18th Dec 2016 18:47:57
Oh dear LittleMinx, that song is now in my mind.
Response from Yodama made on 18th Dec 2016 19:06:30
I hope it is in everyone's mind jeanmark, maybe they will return.
A trickle is fine, a deluge should liven things up a tad.
Wonder if Dr Tom has something to do with it hmm?
Response from Yodama made on 18th Dec 2016 19:11:07
I am fighting my urges at the moment, I bought a few boxes of chocolates for random Christmas gifts, they are looking very, very good at the moment, I am getting a crick in my neck looking at them, they seem to be beckoning me,................
I have just lost a nice bit of weight for my party gear, how many chocs would it take to increase my girth I wonder?
Response from Yodama made on 18th Dec 2016 20:14:15
I just gave jeanmark an earworm ha ha ha!
Response from Lionel made on 18th Dec 2016 23:32:04
Save yourselve the torture of looking at those chocolates. Send them here!
Response from Yodama made on 18th Dec 2016 23:38:32
They would never stand the journey, they have to be hand delivered and there are a lotttt of traffic jams, postal strikes and rail strikes, so, I'll just buy a tent dress instead. No more waspy waist.
Response from jeanmark made on 19th Dec 2016 15:14:46
Who needs a wasp waist, I now tell 'himself' that he's lucky in having more for his money than when he originally bought the licence to wed!
Response from Yodama made on 19th Dec 2016 22:22:45
Maybe I should send all the chocs to you then jm, it has become a challenge of epic proportions to avoid ripping the paper off and selecting one delicious morsel after another.
Kudos to me, I have not succumbed..................................... as yet!

Just been out for Christmas drinks and laughter with the old codger's in my pub. I do believe there will be a lot more lifting and leaning going on over the next few days.
Response from jeanmark made on 20th Dec 2016 14:13:26
I was surprised when at my Craft Club yesterday they started trying Rhubarb Vodka mixed with Processco and a Vanilla pod dropped in the glass - at 10am! They all enjoyed the drink but as I don't drink alcohol I had to have a coffee.

My Old Codgers Club is Thursday and we have been promised a visit from Father Christmas, the excitement is overwhelming.
Response from Yodama made on 20th Dec 2016 15:11:06
Glad you are entering the Christmas spirit so to speak jm, even if it is coffee. Since you are 5' will it be easy for you to climb on Santa's knee? I hope you are not on his naughty list, his elves read the posts on SS and report to him. Maybe tell him about the giant zip and stocking tops!! hmm?
My old codger's club have hearing problems, when they said "go on have another one" I said "this is an ABF" (absolutely blurdy final)
I don't know how many ABF's I had. All fun and good company.
I have been shopping and everyone is in an advanced state of bewilderment, putting lot's of shiny things in their trolleys, hypnotised by the music and colours. They should post psychiatrists at the end of every aisle.
The tills have their own Acapello chorus of kerching, kerching, kerching.
Home and coffee is best. Next, wrapping presents and writing late cards. Will this torture never end.
My Grinchiness has finally cracked under the strain, I find myself buying baubles, shiny things and lights. I think I will have Tesco's investigated, I am sure there are subliminal messages in the Muzac being beamed into our heads in the guise of merry Carols.
Going to climb on ladders and things to erect these said baubles and lights, I expect another trip in an ambulance shortly.
Response from Yodama made on 20th Dec 2016 15:13:26
Maybe it will be young Kyle the paramedic again.
Response from jeanmark made on 20th Dec 2016 17:58:50
Tesco Carols have had no effect on me but it could be the saucepan I wore on my head to prevent those subliminal messages hidden in the background music.

I'm sure steps will be provided so I can sit on Santa's knee and I think he already knows about the giant zip and stocking tops. I'm sure someone has told him I've been a good girl. this year.

Be careful when trying to erect your baubles, unless you have checked to see if young Kyle is on duty!
Response from Yodama made on 20th Dec 2016 19:24:25
Better put Kyle's number into my phone now, I am expecting to fall off the ladder imminently. I will make sure to fall in an elegant pose, holding my lace handkerchief to my tearful eye. Do you think that would do the trick? On second thoughts they guard their paramedics like Hollywood film stars.

Sorry if my messages are late and fractured jm. 'Tis the season you know, lot's of knocking on my door and tea and various other plans and things. Where oh where is that log cabin in the woods when I need it?
A picture of you walking sedately down the various aisles, full of composure while wearing a saucepan on your head at 5' tall, sends me into gales of laughter.
A question? Would you use the saucepan as a fashion statement, have the handle out to the side at a rakish angle? Maybe a bit of fake snow and glitter, copper saucepans are the prettiest, lovely glow to them don't you think?
Response from ecarg made on 20th Dec 2016 20:24:05
Little Minx and Jeanmark
Thanks for the comedic banter my imagination is working over time with visions of saucepan helmets ,falling stepladders and a dishy paramedic called Kyle.
I have succumbed to the season and cracked open a bottle of wine (I drink very rarely) it's not the best and probably should have been left on the supermarket shelve .Hoping your baubles are in the right place and stockings well filled.
Response from Lionel made on 20th Dec 2016 20:24:21
Saucepan on head, jeanmark. Now I think Ive identified you!

There was a lot of talk in the Ostrich pub many years ago about this woman who wore a saucepan on her head. Some said she was crazy, but others said, she must have a reason for doing that, so they all got out saucepans and wore them.

The local copper felt there were too many nutters to arrest and went home to find ... a saucepan.

Me? I just kept the tin foil around my head. Looks better than saucepan, don't you think?
Response from jeanmark made on 20th Dec 2016 20:34:46
No Lionel, a copper saucepan is much more elegant and as LittleMInx has suggested I will wear it with the handle out to the side at a rakish angle. I never really felt right with tin foil around my head, it didn't suit my complexion.

Ecarg, enjoy your wine our posts may then make more sense!
Response from Lionel made on 20th Dec 2016 20:46:52
Ah, a copper saucepan, set at a rakish angle, well, resistance is futile. Just show me a beechwood spatular and a good meal will be wisked up in moments. You do like scrambled eggs, cooked by someone with tin foil on his head?
Response from Lionel made on 20th Dec 2016 20:52:19
Enjoy your wine ecarg and yes, then much of this will make more sense. If it ever does make sense to you, would you tell me about it please?
Response from Lionel made on 20th Dec 2016 20:56:57
A paramedic called Kyle? What about a paramedic called ... well ... Steph, Samanatha? I'd even settle for Erica at my age! OK no interest to you but ... there's got to be someone who likjes a tin foil hat!
Response from Yodama made on 20th Dec 2016 21:41:48
Kyle was a very handsome, kind, built like a brick lav', paramedic who whisked me away to hospital a couple of weeks ago, I did inform him of the picnic on Lyra that Starmaiden's FC13 and LM and entourage were planning, our Spaceship was stocked and ready to leave on our space journey. Since I had suffered a head injury, he was concerned that I was delusional and rambling. He wanted to change course to a psychiatric facility until I assured him that it was just the nearness of his personage that had an effect on me.

Now, could your Steph or Erica compare?

escarg, not any amount of wine will help to make sense of these posts, a modicum of madness is required, although a tot or two would help things along.

I am tutting and aghast to think you would consider tin foil, so prosaic dahlink!
We do not make any substitutions, jeanmark's shiny copper saucepan is the epitome of fasionable defensive gear when there is an imminent threat of subliminal coersion.

I have seen the most darling colander, I could see Lionel wearing that at a jaunty angle. On Lionel, it would be a most attractive fashion statement. Alas,messages seeping through the holes would prompt all sorts of coersive crazy buying. As we well know, Lionel suffers intense pain if he has to pay for shopping. His wife suggests raspberry leaf tea (muffled chuckle)
Perhaps a nice roomy stainless steel wok?
Response from Yodama made on 20th Dec 2016 22:30:51
Us wrinklies have to keep the wheels turning, here is the quiz:
Did you spot the deliberate spelling mistake?


Coercive,
not coersive.
(That is what is known as a coverup.)
Response from Lionel made on 20th Dec 2016 22:44:45
Ah! Minxie, you so remind me of someone else!

Could my Steph or Erica compare ... well, clearly not for you, but my delights are somewhat different. Twenty five or more years ago I had an abcess on the lower jaw. It was Bank Holiday evening. My ex called my dentist, a friend from a few hundred yards away. In his surgery that late evening, the dental nurse, a fulsome blue eyed blonde leant over me. The pain, well, went to the back ground. During the operation my Dentist was recounting Jilly Cooper's Riders, which had been televised that evening. He'd had a few drinks. He was, well .. I've cut horns from bulls many a time.

After the op the dental nurse leaned over me and said, open wide. Although he had heavily sedated me, hysterics set in. 'Shouldn't that be my line,' through numbed jaws.

All but my ex fell about laughing and to this day I still have a stitch in my jaw he couldn't remove for laughing.

Oh, dahlink, the great housekeeper has passed on. Gabor.

Minxie, colander, tin foil or whatever it rather depends on where one purchased the item. Selfridges ... a little passe, doesn't one agree ... but Harrods, my former corner shop, well, need one say more. And please, no one mention copper or we'll have more bleeding hearts on about 'slave' labour in the Zambian copper mines.

Oh no, let's not start on that one, else I might be tempted to say the best copper articles are available from ... Harrods. Feel a diplomatic incident coming on?
Response from Lionel made on 20th Dec 2016 22:47:13
Spelling mistake? Oh, no, I was in reveries about a blue eyed blonde nurse. Pity she worked in a clap cinic!
Response from Yodama made on 20th Dec 2016 23:53:01
RIP Za Za! Married nine times, lived life to the full.

You do like your blue eyed blondes Lionel, you are also afflicted with that irrepressible imp who pops out at the most serious of times. (I mean humour). You were a brave man to have made that remark.
You are very lucky you did not have a pair of forceps attached to your tongue and plugged in to the mains. Or given a lobotomy with the drill, an added extra since you were nicely anaethestised anyway. You know about angry women with sharpened nails and weapons close at hand don't you?

Forget Harrods, I found a very nice colander in the skip at Buckingham Palace, one or two diamonds missing, but hey! Beggars can't be choosers. What a find!

Very interested in the clap clinic. I did stand up comedy a while back, I'm not saying I was bad, but I certainly would have sent my audiences to your clap clinic had I known about it, miserable devils, never clapped once.
Response from ecarg made on 21st Dec 2016 03:56:04
I'm enjoying all your nonsense don't know what made you think I was trying to make any sense of your banter I've got more sense than that but not enough to stop myself buying cheap rubbish wine. Sending you all a hearty round of applause.
Response from Yodama made on 21st Dec 2016 09:56:20
Thank you escarg, ( bowing) something to lighten the soul in these dark times, not enough silliness in the world is there? Good thing jeanmark and Lionel have such funny things to relate or there would be not banter. I still can't stop laughing at the thought of this sedate lady walking through Tesco with a pan on her head.

Wonder what silliness you have tucked away, ( not talking about buying plonk here), join the banter.
Response from jeanmark made on 21st Dec 2016 16:00:50
I can't stop smiling at your description of a sedate lady, with my background 'sedate' means something entirely different. Of course you may believe I am walking with a saucepan on my head (copper mind you) having been 'sedated' and thus walking around Tesco's looking as if I have been drinking escarg's wine?
Response from Yodama made on 21st Dec 2016 16:39:17
I do hope jm that "himself" wears matching attire, when in Tesco, maybe a more manly copper bottom stainless steel affair? He would have to have the handle at quite a different angle to yours, you could both become quite entangled, maybe another job for young Kyle?
Otherwise what would be the point in just one of you arming against such devious subliminal messaging. The other could be guided towards the most expensive red items by the mere jingling of jingle bells.
You would be able to tell when this malady presents (being a nurse for so long) the victims eyeballs start to rotate like catherine wheels on steroids, the smile fixed, akin to a horrific rictus. arms outstretched,
A horrible sight. so sedated by fine wine could make the whole expedition more palatable,

I am on last minute card duty today, people I have not heard from for at least a thousand years are sending me cards full of merry messages, I wish they would make Bah Humbug! cards.
So I am dashing off equally merry message cards and running like a person who has had too much chillie.
The lady at the post office smiles at me in a kind of pitying way which I read as "poor soul, look at her run........again."
Response from jeanmark made on 21st Dec 2016 18:41:03
'Himself' doesn't need to wear the same attire, his natural aversion to buying anything that isn't on the list is sufficient. He also appears to have a condition called 'selective hearing' although that usually only works where my voice is concerned but may kick in if it affects the wallet!

I make my own Christmas cards, maybe I should explore a design incorporating 'Bar Humbug'. I have to say if I receive a card I wasn't expecting I just try to add it to next years list. My sister has eventually gotten rid of all such cards by 'forgetting' to send them each year, she gives money to Charity instead. I did get caught out today, last year my 'brother-in-law' (he remarried after my sister died) didn't send a card and so I took him off my list this year - yep, I received one today. Oh well, I'll have to add him back to the list.
Response from Yodama made on 21st Dec 2016 19:24:51
Mad stamp licking is in order methinks jm, oh wait, they are self stick now. Good luck with your new design for next year's grinchy cards.
You talk of selective hearing, I have told my neighbours for years that I don't celebrate Christmas or send cards or buy presents or visit or receive visitors. Deaf!! nothing has changed, I have now changed, bought a tree and baubles, tons of chocs and sweets, finest of whisky, wines, large joints of gammon etc, etc, etc; Cracked under the relentless barrage!

Looking for a clown costume now, oops! I meant Elf costume.
Time for a spaceship and Fruitcake13 if she comes back from Metagalaxy.
Response from ecarg made on 21st Dec 2016 20:51:17
Sorry to say I don't have any silliness tucked away although I have plenty of places it could be tucked, and that is why I appreciate reading the banter .I now have a picture of a sedated Jeanmark walking like a robot through Tesco's with a copper saucepan on her head and visions of it setting off the alarm system as she tries in vain to beat a hasty retreat.
Response from Yodama made on 21st Dec 2016 21:06:30
You see you made me laugh, you do have some silliness. I think jeanmark has set a precedent here, sales of saucepans in Tesco's have sky rocketed. I suppose they will have better looking ones in Waitrose do you think, or as Lionel say's in Harrods for the pawsh people.
Yes that picture of jm and her saucepan won't leave me, I keep thinking of it and it sets me off again.
Response from jeanmark made on 22nd Dec 2016 14:46:52
I think we should all start a trend and see who has the best saucepan on their head whilst shopping and how soon it catches the BBC'c attention. I wonder what the headline would be?

If sales of saucepans rocket in Tesco I will expect some of the profit, however, if Waitrose or Harrods asks me to try theirs I will of course, for an appropriate fee.

Ecarg why do you think you have no silliness, you have just demonstrated that you have and thus joined our team.
Response from ecarg made on 22nd Dec 2016 16:03:34
No I'm just jumping on the bandwagon ,but I could join in by beating out a tune or two on the saucepans and if youv'e got the lids even better = cymbals and really create a riot in the aisles.

As one who has just got back from the Christmas food shop the above would have been a welcome distraction.
Response from Yodama made on 22nd Dec 2016 17:17:23
There it is! the impish humour surfacing escarg, my theory is that everyone has a hidden imp.
I don't think jm would be thrilled at a crazy rhythm beaten out on her head in the middle of the aisles.
Did you say Christmas food shop???? That means the Christmas food cooking, since I am the mum and know all and see all, I will be ensconced in the kitchen at my son's house.
He will probably ply me with sherry throughout. Such is his confidence in his mother turning out superbly cooked cuisine while tipsy, he has no way of knowing that it may all end up in disaster, with his mother looking like the cook in Fawlty Towers - soused!

Jeanmay, I feel it is a bit obvious to be wearing an undisguised saucepan, even if it is priced at the high end. Always the entrepreneur, I have hit on an idea.
I have a magnificent turban purloined from an Arab Sheik some years ago when he kidnapped me. Wrapped cleverly, around the metal secret message deflector, ( AKA the saucepan) who would know I was wearing a saucepan?
I have seen some cheeky little bobble hats made to all sizes by our knitting ladies at our pub if you would like one.
Response from jeanmark made on 22nd Dec 2016 18:51:17
A bobble hat sounds a sensible idea but I could knit my own, that way I could use a colour that compliments my complexion, a toned down Cerise maybe? But what colour bobble?

Ecarg, thanks for the suggestion of playing the cymbals on my saucepan but I agree with LittleMinx, the distraction may send me completely the wrong way down the aisles.
Response from Yodama made on 22nd Dec 2016 19:06:23
Hmm, Cerise jm, yellow looks fun, yes a yellow and green bobble.
You are the poster girl for Tesco's jm, escarg banging and you buying copious amounts of aspirin, kind of domino effect.

D Day is coming up, bracing for the mounds of food and merriment. Then .......poof!.....it's all over till Easter.
I still don't know what my kid's have planned, told me not to worry, so I am worried. I will however fill the boot of my car with "extra's" a honey glazed ham, cheeseboard, biscuits for cheese. samosa's ( by request) mince pies, crusty bread, Christmas pud and trifle laced with sherry. [

If, and I do not want to tempt the God's here, if I get a flat tyre or the impending hurricane due to rock our land stop's me on my journey, and the AA can't get to me in time. I will somehow survive.
Response from jeanmark made on 22nd Dec 2016 19:33:46
Look out for the BBC news item on ecarg and me entertaining customers at Tesco's with me wearing a bright yellow hat with yellow and green bobbles. I think ecarg may wear a balaclava so she can't be recognised, in appropriate colours of course!

My step-daughter, a superb cook and planner, is entertaining us for Christmas Day and has only requested our presence, so we will have a nice relaxing time without any effort - well, my step-granddaughter will be demanding a great deal of attention.

If the AA know you have a car full of goodies, they will make sure they can rescue you if only to get as far as their headquarters. You may be even luckier if Kyle hears of your plight and comes to the rescue.
Response from Yodama made on 22nd Dec 2016 19:59:07
Do you know jm? You are so lucky, waited on hand foot and finger. what am I doing wrong?
Maybe we should all wear a fringe in Tesco's, a lunatic fringe ha, ha, ha.

Now.......I didn't want to bring the subject of young Kyle up again, the thought did cross my mind, shame it is not cold enough for a bout of hypothermia, he could wrap me in a blanket, Sigh!
You joke about my boot full of goodies, I am always prepared for all eventualities. I was in a traffic jam for four hours once, so traumatised me that ever since I carry in my boot:
A portable gas stove
small kettle
plastic cups
tea, coffee, sugar and dried milk
soup
minute noodles
can opener
dixie
plastic knives, forks and spoons
blanket and pillow
portable potty (diving off into the bushes is not a pretty sight)

Since then I have never been in a jam and feel quite miffed that now I am prepared, nothing happens. Let's see what this supposed storm does.......er, what was Kyles number again!
Response from Yodama made on 22nd Dec 2016 20:07:08
Woke up early this morning, put on some nice clothes, full warpaint and coiffed hair, waiting for the hordes of visitors, not a soul visited. Just got rid of the glam and wearing a bear onesie, hair like Worzel Gummidge and..........visitors.
Response from jeanmark made on 23rd Dec 2016 15:30:31
That is so typical, it's the same when you rush around to make the house clean and tidy and no one comes until it's all messy again. It's like a poster I saw that said "Sorry for the mess, you should have come last week when I cleaned up".

The contents of your boot reminds me of a night sister I once worked with. She had to drive 20 miles along country roads to get to and from work. Her husband was a paramedic and during winter he always made sure her boot contained a survivors kit minus the 'potty'. Like you she never had to use it, but was convinced that if it wasn't there, she would have been stranded.

The wind is now getting stronger but not enough to cause a problem, but I think I will stay in anyway.
Response from Yodama made on 23rd Dec 2016 16:16:43
Everything blinking and beeping in my house, lights, cookers, phones. Lovely spicy aroma's from the kitchen, cooking ham in beer and spices, let it soak overnight, and then roast it tomorrow with honey and mustard, Just had a panic phone call from my son, extra plates, knives and forks etc; needed. Oops! just remembered, I have to make a boozy trifle.
When he bought his house I wanted to buy him the essentials, "don't worry mum, I've got everything", good job I have a big boot.......son's!

Wind is a bit mad here, but not too bad, I just look at the tree outside and gauge the wind by looking at the branches.
Alway's good to be prepared, I should take a leaf out of your night sister's book, I don't have a medical kit, should get at least a small one, and a ball point pen in case of an emergency tracheotomy ( saw it in a movie) . I bet she didn't have mulligatawny sou[ though!
Just have to wrap presents I was not going to buy, ( grinchiness ruined forever) then ready for the epic journey.
How are your plans going jm?
Response from ecarg made on 23rd Dec 2016 16:53:03
After reading your posts I feel more than a little unprepared ,my boot contains no emergency provisions or equipment except a bottle of water and a blanket that was only put there to stop stuff sliding around causing clatter bangs which I was sure was the engine failing.If i encounter problems I will use my mobile phone I have great faith in the rescue services I might be sent another Kyle or at least a lookalike.
I haven't made soup or cooked a ham but I know someone who has so thats Ok.
The downstairs housework is done and as no one will be frequenting my bedchambers the dust can stay in residence I can always draw pictures in it for a little light relief when the power goes off ,living in an all electric house is something I,m prepared for having a primus stove and tin kettle prehaps I should transfer these to the boot then I can offer Kyle a cuppa .Oh dear just remember I've run out of matches .No not Tesco's again where's my hat?
Response from Lionel made on 23rd Dec 2016 17:37:21
Ladies, I could get jealous of this chap Kyle! What has he got I don't have? Well, youth, of course! A shortage of white hair ... flashing smile, a la Hollywood and of course, he's tall! Oh and he knows all about body parts and what to do with them in an ambulance.

Bah humbug! I studied pig physiology; not much use in the back of a speeding ambulance. Actually, not much use anywhere except in pig sty.

Gonna wrap my head in tin foil; those negative waves are coming.
Response from Yodama made on 23rd Dec 2016 18:56:37
Aaaaaaaaah! now Kyle, a sort of paramedic Cary Grant. and yes he has knowledge of all body parts, I know, he put little electric stickers all over my waist area and chest area, knew what he was doing.
Don't be jealous Lionel, you have the blonde blue eyed nurses to fire up your imagination.

We have escarg falling in love with the very idea of him, the new poster boy for NHS. I wonder why you need to anchor everything down in your boot escarg, I have visions of you going around corners on two wheels. I never had any emergency stuff in my boot until I experienced the 4 hour traffic jam, nearly died of thirst and wanting a pee, not to mention the hunger pangs.
My house is all electric too, I have portable gas stove and heater in case of emergency, as we live so far out in the boondocks, we have had a few electric outages. Being a girl guide probably turned me into a "be prepared" kind of person.
So you are an arty kind of person? drawing in the dust is one of my favourite pastimes. People love coming to sit in my chaos, it makes them feel good about their own housekeeping skills. they say they feel " relaxed" in my house.
Before you start firing up your kettle for Kyle escarg, I saw him first!!
One more foray into Tesco's and I am done.
Just bought a really neat hat with silver foil lining, they are available on this site,

http://www.lessemf.com/personal.html

You can be more fashionable Lionel. they have really good stuff now. Tin foil is old hat ( if you will excuse the pun).
How do your pigs feel now Christmas pork joints are selling like hotcakes, a little nervous??
Response from jeanmark made on 23rd Dec 2016 19:20:54
Well ecarg, you have definitely joined the club and I, like you, only have a blanket in my boot but you never know when you may have to lie on grass. Also one thing I have learnt in life is that dust only gets so deep and I sometimes think I could enter my bedroom waste bin for the Turner Prize, I'm sure I would win. I must try a little dust art, it sounds very therapeutic.

My house is both gas and electric but I also have a motorhome if things gets desperate and we could sleep in there if necessary.

I haven't cooked anything as I assume it will all be done for me. I was never gifted with culinary skills but I can cope with anyone suffering food poisoning. That experience is not related to my lack of culinary skills.

Lionel, don't despair about Kyle, I'm sure he is a young whippersnapper that you could knock spots off. But he did help LittleMinx and that has to count for something.
Response from ecarg made on 23rd Dec 2016 22:53:39
Little Minx Kyle is all yours if Jeanmark is right and he is a young whippersnapper then I would prefer to be rescued by a more mature paramedic who can cope with all emergencies in and out of ambulances.
Response from Lionel made on 23rd Dec 2016 23:34:00
I'm sure I should bow out here and leave this to you three ladies ... oh, but what the heck!

Jeanmark saying she never knows when she might have to lay on the grass - reminds me of a Lurpack advert - I wish I'd had more grass stains, dear! Oh, please, let's not go down that road. Mmmm. Change of mind. Please do go on.

Minxie mentioned Girl Guides. I was a Boy Scout until a Guide got in the way. Yes a blue eyed blonde, what else, who lead me into ... we were seated next to each other, compelled to watch an awful Scout/Guide AmDram. After the lights went down ... well the first act finished before we had. I got sacked at thirteen years old!

But Kyle, if he was a Cary Grant type, well, ladies, you have nothing to get excited about. It seems Grant had an on off/affair with actor Randolph Scott for many years. So, as the saying goes around here, if he's too pretty he's sooooo not for you dahlinks!

Always the one to deliver bad news!

Well, Kyle, if you're reading this I've pricked your balloon. (That's one of of many feed lines for you three ladies!), someone please pick up on at least one) ... if Kyle attended me in this remote part of Suffolk, I'd send him to jeanmark, Minxie and Ecarg and plead for a blonde. If he can't keep you all busy, you'll certainly occupy his mind and some. But, I think, in the end (?) he needs a good agent, a nice Jewish agent, one who will ensure his assets are used to the fullest, in the best interests of showbiz, of course. Another Jacobi or Gielgud waiting in the wings?

As Bill Clinton said when he was President of the US ... I share your pain. Mmmm. Not my pain baby!

Sweet dreams.
Response from Yodama made on 29th Dec 2016 13:11:42
Ever the entrepreneur Lionel.
Re: the Scottish theme for New Year's, if you are thinking of going to Scotland, don't by shy about trying the Haggis. I saw a TV programme about the origins of Haggis, it was invented in England, who would have thought?
By the way, if you feel you can't wear a kilt with aplomb, there are trousers with the tartan called Trews, some soldiers I knew wore them, so all is not lost.
You may bump into njbuckeyenut, she may have been curious enough to join in the festivities.
Somehow I think she was looking closer to home, New York may have been a better suggestion.
Lochinvar
24th Dec 2016 10:29:05
1
Thanks for voting!
Hi njbuckeyenut,

Sorry you didn't get many sensible replies to your request
Response from jeanmark made on 24th Dec 2016 14:35:27
Oh dear Lochinvar, is that a reprimand?
Response from Lochinvar made on 24th Dec 2016 15:58:55
Just that there were 126 replies but only 2 suggestions, I feel we need to encourage new members ....
Response from jeanmark made on 24th Dec 2016 18:04:41
A reprimand then........
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