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How do you pick up the pieces when your husband takes his own life?

Hi, I'm new here, this is my first post. I am 53 years young! Last August my husband took his own life - I'm not going into it, it would take far too long and I would chase you all away! I have 3 children, aged 15, 22 and 25. All four of us are either on medication, receiving counselling or both. But I don't want this to sound like a sob story, I just find life so very hard. 4 months after he died I found out two things about him that devastated me and give me some answers as to why he did what he did. Our world was ripped apart by his death, and I have gone from missing him and loving him, to hating him and the hurt he has caused us all. My main concern is my 3 children and helping them to get through all this, I also have my 93 year old mother living with us (since 2008) and she has stroke damage, dementia and alzheimers and I am her full time carer. Effectively I am housebound, which I am finding very difficult now. I have my own problems as a result of losing my husband (together 31 years, known for 34) but everybody else has to come first, I am at the back of the line, which I know is not good but I also believe that the majority of people in this position would do the same. I feel very alone, even in a household of 5 people, and this gets me very down. So I thought I would check out the internet and look for local clubs, that sort of thing, and came across Silver Surfers! So I thought I would check it out and see! I hope to make friends on here, maybe socially (I live in Morden, Surrey), but just have a place to go to and chat about anything and everything to help me to stop dwelling on all the negative issues that I am going through. I love a good laugh, I do enjoy craft, cinema, theatre, music, reading, coffee shops, travel, food, driving, pubs and I am sure I can add to that list. I just don't get the chance to do much of it anymore. So if anybody is up for chats, and can help me find my giggle again, then I would love to hear from you. Thanks x


Created By on 16/06/2017

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Iolanthe52
21st Jul 2017 16:41:52
0
Thanks for voting!
Sorry to read about your troubles, happy to chat to you anytime you feel lonely. I understand loneliness as, most of my friends are married so it's difficult to share times. I'm divorced. Children married and live away so I find myself alone quite a lot.
chrissyp
19th Jun 2017 00:46:33 (Last activity: 22nd Jun 2017 14:54:54)
1
Thanks for voting!
Hi Livelife3

I am sorry to hear of your situation and hope that you can all put together and recover from this.
Please message if you would like to chat.
Chris
Response from livelife3 Original Poster made on 22nd Jun 2017 14:54:54
Thanks Chris, I may take you up on the offer, but today I am tight for time. Thanks again and I'll be in touch again soon. All the best, Eve
Dianelily
21st Jun 2017 21:59:20 (Last activity: 22nd Jun 2017 14:52:41)
1
Thanks for voting!
Hi Livelife3.
Very sad to hear your story. I have had some bad times too, although nowhere near as bad as yours. If you would like to chat please message me. More than happy to chat with you.
Response from livelife3 Original Poster made on 22nd Jun 2017 14:52:41
Thank you Dianelily, appreciate that very much.......and I am sure there are people with worse problems than me too. Life can certainly keep us all on our toes, it's the days that you don't fancy dancing that are the problem. Thanks again, I will message you when I have a bit more time to sit at the keyboard. All the best, Eve
Silversurfer's Editor
17th Jun 2017 09:08:26 (Last activity: 22nd Jun 2017 14:48:47)
1
Thanks for voting!
Hello livelife3 ... Welcome to Silversurfers 🙂 I am so sorry to read your sad news, but inspired by your positive attitude to move forward. In our mid 50s we are known as the sandwich generation and you are certainly the ham or jam in your family. You have a challenge to juggle your 3 children whilst caring for your mum, and I know how that feels, as I also have 3 daughters and a mum with dementia. I am sure you will get chatting to some like minded members of our community here and hope we can brighten your days. Best wishes, Sally 🙂
Response from livelife3 Original Poster made on 22nd Jun 2017 14:48:47
Thank you for your message Sally. Even if I only make a few contacts, that's a few more than I've got now! All the best, Eve

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