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Sibling insult

Hi, new to this site!

So I was with a few family members-2 sibs, daughter, nephews,etc. My older brother ( we are all 60's or better) made a rude and mean comment about me in front of everyone, as a joke. My sister laughed out loud, but while I was being put down, the comment was in her favour. I felt embarrassed with my daughter there, in that I felt I was being disrespected and she saw this. This is the norm for my family...for whatever reason, I'm the one who they feel they can disregard I guess.

Not sure how to handle this. Should I remove myself from family gatherings, as some of my sibs are toxic to me? I already have done that with 2 so far. Or should I tell my brother how much he hurt me? With my family, if I did that, he would likely just snicker and say OH it was a JOKE! Then they would spread the gossip that I am upset by this and make me the fool.

My family as a rule never apologizes, with the exception of a few of us.

A large family of 10 sibs. Not sure how to deal with this.

Created By on 20/04/2021

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20th Apr 2021 11:06:57 (Last activity: 20th Apr 2021 17:54:53)
Thanks for voting!
Hi Moondancer5,
I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation with your siblings.
I feel you should bring it up to his attention. He may not realise how hurt you are feeling.
If he sniggers at you then you know you tried and you can pick and choose what future gatherings you go too.
I'm sure that over the time its easy for them to continue to treat you as the butt of their jokes if they have always done so in the past. But at 60 plus they should know better.
Though they are not mind readers so if you can chat face to face with him do or write him a letter telling him how hurt his niece was and you were at his treatment of you and that now you are all getting on in age maybe a bit more respect is called for.
Also maybe you could approach your sister first and say the same to her,
As a mother or Aunty I would hope she would care enough for you or at least her niece that she would not want to continue hurting either of you.
We can choose our friends in this world, we can't choose our family. I wish you good luck and hope it will be sorted. I have lost 2 of my 3 siblings they died in their early 50s so that is what makes me say you should at least try once more with them to try and make it better for you.
Take Care
Response from moondancer5 Original Poster made on 20th Apr 2021 17:54:53
Thank you for your response...excellent advice, It's along the lines of what I was thinking too. Sorry about the loss of your siblings. <3

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