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Starting a new Life

Hi All, Hope every is well, I have not been on the forum for while, so it's like starting again!! I now find myself about to start a new life, on my own and as it stand I have no choice to move away, although I don't really see family here. I would like some info and advice on starting on my own (after 30 years of marriage and no my choice to end it) I will have limited funds and will certainly want to work, but it is the social side of this that I would really appreciate guidance. Has anybody else been through this and how did you establish yourself. Don't want to give a sob story but would really appreciate some info and a chat with someone who is able to give advice. Thank you !


Created By on 28/10/2016

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JEN66
7th Dec 2016 19:36:58
0
Thanks for voting!
I have gone through similar and in 2011 retired. Thought it wouldnt be a problem but it was. Too many hours in the day to fill and everybody at work. Then in 2012 I saw a leaflet whilst having a pub lunch with a work friend. It was advertising a friendship group. Plucked up the courage and went for coffee with the group then one of the ladies asked 'did I play Bridge' I said no and she said if I were to learn I could partner her. Through the organisation U3A(University of the Third Age) I learnt and now have a great social life throught the friends i have met. U3A is for semi or retired people but it doesnt have an age limit so if you are in your 50s you are still eligable to join. It cost £10 per year and covers all areas ie UK. If you google U3A and the area where you live, it will bring up all the activeties they do ie in my case Bridge Photography Opera, walking the list is endless and the average price for two hours enjoyment is a £1. There is also a world wide friendship groups called Meet ups again google Meet ups and it will bring up activities in your area. That can have a cost to it because alot if it is going out for meals, but there are walking groups where it costs nothing. LIfe will get better. I havnt looked back since and can honestly say I am contented. Good luck
Georgie Girl
1st Nov 2016 18:32:34
0
Thanks for voting!
Welcome to you Positivity, whereabout in the country are you?
jeanymay
31st Oct 2016 18:13:28
0
Thanks for voting!
So sorry to hear of your problems. Divorce is never easy, but to have to move away must be terrible.
Making new friends may need a little work, but joining local groups will really help you.
The WI has changed immensely, and has young, old and in between members. They also have other groups to join such as, walkers club, book club, craft group, theatre/cinema group, which would get you out and about on a regular basis.

I hope your Silver surfer friends are able to offer you some support and comfort on your journey to a new life.
4everYng
29th Oct 2016 06:47:34 (Last activity: 31st Oct 2016 18:00:14)
0
Thanks for voting!
Sorry to hear this wasn't your choice, but life is a funny thing. Not easy to hear right now I suppose, but this may turn out to be a good thing in disguise. Think about something you really enjoy doing that maybe you didn't do as often as you would like because your partner didn't care for it -- and go do it! Take a free class at your local college or library or community center. Go read to someone at a senior center. Get involved where you feel comfortable. Helping others when you are struggling really lifts you up. Just try it. You'll meet new people and experience new things.

Also know that time does heal -- so stay busy so times goes by faster. Before you know it, you'll look back and realize it wasn't such a bad thing. One door closes, but many open
Response from Positivity e Original Poster made on 31st Oct 2016 18:00:14
Thank you for your comments and I will try some of the ideas suggested. As you say time heals. I have the momentous task of the divorce etc.
Please stay in touch
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Tomtwodogs
30th Oct 2016 09:45:13 (Last activity: 31st Oct 2016 17:57:29)
0
Thanks for voting!
Hi Positivity, yes I have been where you are today, and on day one you feel frightened of the future and totally alone, I was married for 27 years, and was about 50 years old when we split up. all I had ever worked for.. gone !,. but believe me it does get better in a short time,. I think the first few weeks are infinitely the worst,. but slowly and surely things start to fall into place,new friends start to appear , circumstances, and likewise priorities change, and a whole new world WILL open up to you if you let it !! looking back I wished it had happened to me years ago !.,. I have never been happier !
go out there and knock em dead , and the very best of luck.. Tom !
Response from Positivity e Original Poster made on 31st Oct 2016 17:57:29
Thank you for your comments and it is nice to hear from someone who has been there.
Moving somewhere so different is daunting and unfortunately my daughters for now seem to be with their father, so very much on my own.
I am trying to be positive and your words help, so thank you.
Ladyfromthesea
29th Oct 2016 20:05:07 (Last activity: 31st Oct 2016 17:54:11)
0
Thanks for voting!
Positivity e, if you can still work then the workplace itself is a source of new friends and a social life too. With me, I spent most of my life single and married late in life, only 8 years ago.

It can be quite daunting, doing things on your own. For instance, I used to find that some people thought I was weird, going on holiday on my own. But that was compensated for, because I found that loads of other people were on their own, and you just meet someone along the way, and you get chatting. Just in the street, on a bus, or in a cafe. Now I'm married, nobody starts chatting to me because I'm with my husband!

Your limited funds won't stop you walking down the street, or sitting down on a park bench. These are the places you will find people talking to you for free! Some of them, you may get to know and meet new friends.

Take it slow.
Response from Positivity e Original Poster made on 31st Oct 2016 17:54:11
Thank you so much for your comments and you are right, many things are free and I hope moving on will allow me to meet new people and in time friends. It is such an enormous challenge right now. I am trying not to feel anger and hurt towards my husband especially as I feel he has had someone else for a little while, and the children seem to be siding with him. That said I will try and look for the positives.
Keep in touch
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