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Unloved

My partner who earns 10 times what I get gives the grandkids money when I can't afford to do that it makes me feel inferior.


I feel he always has to be the best even though when his kids were young he never had time for them, and now that he does they think he is the bees knees. It's getting me down.


Am I being unreasonable?


Created By on 26/05/2020

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Felix1
3rd Jul 2020 09:12:51
0
Thanks for voting!
They know you are partners and that partners share, do not worry. My husband has the most cash in our family so it is logical he can afford to give them the money. I give them treats, chocolate etc. They appreciate that too.
JazzeR77
5th Jun 2020 14:23:56 (Last activity: 20th Jun 2020 09:53:44)
1
Thanks for voting!
If you are in a loving 'partnership' then surely the gifts to the grandkids should be from the both of you.
Response from WesleyPegden made on 20th Jun 2020 09:14:44
I agree. My wife always earned more than me and it made me feel inferior but when our kids came along all that went away and they became both out priorities so the money difference no longer became important. Even today, with us both early retired, wife has larger pension but all monies go into a joint account and there is no thought about who contributes the most
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 20th Jun 2020 09:53:44 > @WesleyPegden
Hi WesleyPegden,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

JE
26th May 2020 23:08:59 (Last activity: 7th Jun 2020 14:03:25)
1
Thanks for voting!
I don’t think you should feel inferior just because you don’t have the money to hand out in the same way as your partner. You sound like you are equating money with love but that does not always follow. Making your family members feel special by little thoughtful gifts, words or gestures special to them will warm their hearts far more than money ever can.
Response from JE made on 6th Jun 2020 16:40:37
I don’t know why you think you are doing anything wrong. It seems from what you have said that you are giving them love, hugs and treats and I am sure they will be valued too. I have just read your other post and see that there are other issues here. Sorry that you are having such a hard time. You do not deserve to be treated badly and I hope you can get the strength and support to do the right thing for YOU. I wish you well and send a big hug.
Response from JE made on 7th Jun 2020 14:03:25
I think the first thing you need to do is speak with your GP as you say you are feeling depressed. It’s important that you take care of YOURSELF during difficult times.
Have you thought about contacting someone like Relate who will talk through your issues and support you. I believe that they can chat with you online these days as well as over the phone. If they are not the right people for you, then I am sure that they will be able to refer you on to someone more appropriate.
You say you have no friends, which is difficult, I agree. You do say however that you have a family and they seem to be aware of the issues. Have you asked them for their help and advice?
If not perhaps you could reach out to them.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained!
If you want to chat in private then feel free to message me.
Casualgrey
5th Jun 2020 23:21:20
0
Thanks for voting!
It might not be what you want but one sort out could be you having an affair yourself. It could make him jealous. At the very least you might enjoy the affection
Natasha F
27th May 2020 20:05:34 (Last activity: 27th May 2020 20:25:00)
0
Thanks for voting!
I've read your post, and it sounds like a painful issue. Do you feel sad because you need appreciation of your kids?
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 27th May 2020 20:25:00
Hi Natasha F,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

Yodama
26th May 2020 13:25:54
1
Thanks for voting!
Don't be disheartened irish.
Nothing beats warm love and hugs. I feel sure your grandkids will appreciate lots of hugs. Maybe bake them their favourite cookies or cake.
Money doesn't necessarily buy their love and one day in the future, they will see what value there was in your love.
People show love in different ways, maybe your partner doesn't know how to show it any other way than to give money. 🙂

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