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Weddings - who should pay for what?

What is a reasonable amount to spend on a wedding. My son is getting married and So far the costs are at £12000 excluding the honeymoon. I've been told this is quite reasonable. I'm paying half they are paying the other half themselves. Personally I can think of better things to spend the money on. I have been married 31 years. We got married at a Registry Office with 2 friends as witnesses. It cost £18. We then flew off to Italy for our honeymoon which we paid for ourselves. How much would you pay for a Wedding and who should pay?


Created By on 22/01/2017

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chari
13th Jan 2021 08:45:14
0
Thanks for voting!
I do not understand why young people think their parents should pay for a wedding when it is far far more important to get decent accommodation for their future. Perhaps if they had to pay for it themselves they might set their sights lower. It is not necessary or even a good thing to allow such a piece of one up manship and consumer display to be the start of a new life. Start telling them young that if they want a disney type wedding they should start saving up themselves
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 13th Jan 2021 08:49:43
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Catton
22nd Jan 2021 12:34:15
0
Thanks for voting!
Most couples marry later nowadays , are working and usually have their own home. We gave our kids a sum of money to put toward their weddings but we did not pay half. What are the bride's parents contributing ?
I paid for my daughters dresses. In fact the only thing 'free' was the church which was the most important bit.
britishtea
2nd Nov 2017 13:53:52
0
Thanks for voting!
Spend only what you can afforrd
CaroleAH
1st Feb 2017 23:16:52
0
Thanks for voting!
Pam, that is a large amount of money but probably the "going rate" for the lavish ceremony, reception followed by an evening reception, free bar and hotel accommodation etc which seem to be the norm these days. I'm sure that, at the end of the day, we all want to do our best for our children but struggling financially to do so for what basically is an extravagant day would just not appear on my agenda. You do not mention your son's fiancée's parents so presumably they have either opted out or are not invited to the wedding. So, what can you do so that there is no bitterness on either side of the family or cause for future arguments etc? If you can afford to spend that amount of money (but think it is a waste to spend it on a wedding and reception) could you offer to reduce their mortgage by that amount, or buy a new bathroom or kitchen or have the garden landscaped so that after the one day of celebration there would be something to show for your contribution and which, I hesitate to say this when they are not even married yet, would also be something that would add value to their assets should they part company.
jeanmark
31st Jan 2017 16:19:56
1
Thanks for voting!
I have to agree that appears steep Pam1960 but then my husbands niece got married 12 years ago and that cost my brother-in-law £10,ooo and it was in a hotel not a church. His daughter felt he was being 'cheap'.

I also got married in a Registry Office, although family was present, my brother-in-law paid for the buffet, held in our flat, as a wedding present and we didn't even bother with a honeymoon.

I sometimes think these days young woman are more concerned with having an extravagant wedding to show their friends than the actual wedding. I know it is a 'special' day but in these days of struggling with mortgages etc. you would think money could be better spent.

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