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What would you do?

Married for 48 (for better or worse) my husband has always loved his home and garden and his interest in anything else has only been when it suited him. We have 3 grown up children who are all doing well and I feel this is the time we should be enjoying ourselves.


Seven years ago my husband began binge eating and consequently put on a lot of weight. He has been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and also has water works problems. His attitude to life is poor me and he spends every day pottering in the garden or reading.


We have no communication, never go out together and I feel more like his sister! I have recently inherited a house and a sum of money with which I would like to travel. I know what oh's reaction will be, sulking like a small child and not even interested in where or what I would be doing. I make a point of going out with friends for lunch or shopping and I get greeted with "it took you long enough".


What would you do?


Created By on 22/04/2018

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Yogafan
3rd Feb 2019 16:17:50
0
Thanks for voting!
Life is'nt all about him is it?You're in this together,or supposed to be,Apart from separating,you can find happiness doing stuff on your own.It makes a healthy r/ship.Obviously though you should also spend quality time together.My husband is approaching 60 soon.I can tell he's "winding down".Always used to be up for a long walk.These days I have to gently persuade him,which I never used to have to do.I'm a couple of years younger,but my head's still in my 30's!So I'm not ready to wind down.I do believe though its selfish to become a grumpy old person,alone yes!When you're in a r/ship...No.
Brinny Original Poster
28th Apr 2018 17:28:39
1
Thanks for voting!
Thank you all for your helpful replies. I will let you know what happens !
Frank
27th Apr 2018 08:34:59
2
Thanks for voting!
I have my interests and my other half has her interests it's always been that way. We d enjoy each others company must have 49 years have passed. Yes we have a joke about the time she spends along the street spending my money. To be honest she has more money than me because whats mine is hers and whats hers isn't mine. So if he wants to stay at home so be it but do encourage him to join a mens shed in your local area or the U3A organisation it might just give him an incentive to be more outgoing.
ecarg
24th Apr 2018 21:19:24
1
Thanks for voting!
Totally agree with Caroles advice find out if there's he wants to do and if he prefers to stay home that's his choice but it may be that he only feels safe in his own surroundings or is so stuck in his ways that any chance is frightening.Perhaps starting with day trips would encorage him to become more positive about future activities.
CaroleAH
23rd Apr 2018 20:24:06
1
Thanks for voting!
Like the other people who have responded to your post, I think life is too short to spend it working round someone else's choice of life-style. Having said that, you have been married for 48 years (which is quite an achievement these days!) so why not research the places you are interested in visiting and then present your husband with a list and ask him to chat about the places he would like to visit with you. If he shows no interest at all - then you have tried your best and should feel no compunction in leaving him in the garden and jetting off to enjoy yourself. Do let us all know what you decide and where you are going and Good Luck!
lifeinvanilla
22nd Apr 2018 18:01:59 (Last activity: 22nd Apr 2018 19:26:15)
1
Thanks for voting!
If I were you, I would do whatever makes you the happiest, otherwise you risk looking back with regret. Life is short .. just go out there and enjoy it! Make your plans, tell your husband and hopefully, it might spur him into action but if not, then you go girl and do the things that are important to you. I wish you luck!
Response from Brinny Original Poster made on 22nd Apr 2018 19:26:15
Thank you, let the travels begin.
SilverBlue
22nd Apr 2018 18:22:40 (Last activity: 22nd Apr 2018 19:24:28)
1
Thanks for voting!
Do what makes you happy, life is too short and we all need to make the most of the time we have. Enjoy your travels
Response from Brinny Original Poster made on 22nd Apr 2018 19:24:28
Thank you - it's always good to have another opinion.

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