Worried about husband!
Watch this postI've been feeling a little anxious about my husband lately. We've been together for 20 yrs and married for 17 of them. No kids at home, and we both work full time. I feel like we're drifting apart, and I'm experiencing bouts of sadness due to this.
Firstly my husband lost his sex drive. Initially, I didn't know why, but after some prompting, he told me one of his testicles had become swollen, and that he was worried. Long story but I convinced him to visit his doctor, He had a few tests, and it was the diagnosis was a Varicocele. Not life threatening and has since had this fixed a couple of months ago.
Our sex life is still non-existent. My husband tells me he hasn't had any libido for months and that it will probably not return. I sense a loss of intimacy in our r/ship. He seems ok with it. We have slept separately for probably 3 yrs due to husbands snoring keeping me awake. We don't mind sleeping separately tbh so this isn't an issue as per se, but it also means we don't have cuddle time anymore, which makes me feel like I am living with a friend.
Our days off together are ok, but no brilliant. My husband goes inside himself a lot, reading newspapers, watching tv etc and I am becoming increasingly lonely. I don't feel like I am a needy type person, but our marriage seems very weird now.
Please if anyone has any suggestions or you've been through a similar experience, I'd love to hear your thoughts. TIA
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A bit sad for you but one suggestion is to take in an early morning cuppa to your husband and ask him about his plans for the day. Perhaps finding a common interest, even if it’s his, such as F1, which my husband loves and I know a little about! Walks together and lunch out, old photos to sort. It can be hard work but worth a try, and have you told him how you feel?
My husband is most indignant that I told him I no longer want to make love as it was most uncomfortable and usually unsuccessful ( he is 92 and I am 78). We still have a cuddle with a cuppa in the mornings though.
Good luck.
If I might offer some advice, is to move on. I would take my own advice if it was not for the grandchildren. I could not stand losing them.
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I am off on my first weekend away from home soon - not dating, just a retreat for the bereaved, but it's a break, and a taster to see if I can manage on my own.
Patricia
I was in a marriage for about 23 years and the last 12 must have been pretty much like that, I felt my life had been wasted. All the good years when I was the only one up for it.
Separated in 2001, eventually divorced, then after 6 years and a brief but unsatisfactory relationship found the love of my life... as they say.
So after a tremendous wait happiness came at last.
Then in 2017 got prostate cancer..... so that put an end to that. Still keep going though, but partner also got a cancer, was sorted out, but then died this April after a short but straightforward operation.
So sometimes life is just what it is, 'a bitch'
Sorry, I have been no help, but maybe after hearing this you won't feel quite as bad?
Good luck.