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Is a ‘stiff-upper-lip’ mentality partially to blame for today’s mental health problems?

Prince William blames the stiff-upper-lip mentality of his grandmother’s war generation for today’s mental health problems, at a recent summit.

Strength, dominating positions of power, the hunter-gatherer, the idea that strong and silent is alluring/attractive, the “show no weakness” bravado of heroes in our media.

In many of these macho images, there is little room for showing poor mental health. The men who are most revered in society (famous, wealthy, successful, powerful) are not always ready to admit their struggles in public and that can leave the “average bloke” feeling uncertain about speaking out.

It is great that the tide is turning for men. When Prince William and Prince Harry began talking openly about their own mental health challenges, it gave the nation an incredible lift. One by one, more of these revered men are coming forward and openly addressing mental health; footballers, politicians, actors, anyone can talk about it. We don’t consider that these men are weak or failing by speaking out, in fact, they are the brave ones.

Prince William who is 37, appeared for the first time at Davos, claimed that today’s generation learned to bottle up problems from their parents and grandparents who lived through World War II.

He added: ‘Completely by accident they passed that on to the next generation, we all learn from our parents we all learn from how they deal with things.

‘So this whole generation inherited that this is how we deal with problems we don’t talk about them.

‘I think that now there’s a generation here that are realising this is not normal and we should talk about them. We should get over it.’

Suicide is the most common cause of death for men aged 20-49 years in England and Wales.

What are your views?

Should we be more emotional and show our feelings or is the stiff-upper-lip mentality still appropriate for today’s generation? Should we suppress emotions at risk of our mental health?

Is a 'stiff-upper-lip' mentality partially to blame for today's mental health problems?

541 people have already voted, what's your opinion? Yes No

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DavidE1
24th May 2019
0
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People need to stop thinking about themselves have a little humility and help others. Depression and anxiety are indulgences unless there is a chemical imbalance/ genetic reason. Anyone can achieve anything within reason, but we have so many 'snowflakes' and apparently 'hate crimes' . Hate is the word of the playground and lacks definition. PTSD however is very real-because of the horrors of islamic terror in those poor benighted countries like Afghan and syria
Onecott
22nd May 2019
0
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Perhaps not to blame, but it’s not very helpful for serious concerns .
Pendle Witch
11th May 2019
1
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I feel the 'stiff upper lip' generations have long gone.

Perhaps todays generation should stop being told how wonderful they are, then it wouldn't be such a shock when they go into the real world and they would cope better.
Bey
24th Mar 2019
1
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I think the 'stiff upper lip' is to blame for people not wanting to tell anyone about their mental health problems.
We think it's shameful to admit we're feeling anxious,depressed, suicidal. If people haven't experienced the same feelings, you're told - stop thinking about it, ignore it etc. Believe me if it was that simple no'one would have problems.
I suffered for 18 months by which time I felt completely insane.
I went to the docs who put me on antidepressants. When I told my husband he said 'why didn't you tell me you felt that bad'. I did, repeatedly, but unlike a broken leg no'one can see a broken mind unless you take extreme measures, I did'nt, but felt like it.
If anyone else is suffering please go to the docs and get help.
If anyone is 'going on' about something ng that's stressing them listen properly, help by trying to sort the problem or persuading them to get help.
Dancerupstairs
19th Mar 2019
1
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I don't believe that the stiff upper lip is to blame, but rather the measures we use to constantly compare ourselves to others! Success is seen as material possession, body image, educational bits of paper and other such crazy markers more and more. This leaves little hope for anyone who is any way "different". That difference creates a negative, whereas it could so easily be seen as a positive!
Not2grey
24th Feb 2019
1
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Too many young people seem to spend their time on social networks and are always comparing themselves to others - that way madness lies .
There is a lot to be said for just being content .
I feel sorry for them there seems to be so much pressure on them to have the perfect lifestyle/figure/family/hime/job etc. When I was younger we didn't have much money and most of my friends were in the same boat - we envied people who had money but never tried to emulate them . Trying to 'keep up with the Joneses never made anyone happy .
Janishall
5th Mar 2019
0
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viking
22nd Feb 2019
1
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The so called social media is much to blame over this than will be admitted by these rich fake news sites that are read avidly by the younger generation, and everything therin ,to them is absolutely true.
Every thing from body shapes to brain functions is covered and the "norm" is pushed via further advertising thereby pushing into the sub bliminal. Result some very sad and disallusioned teenagers with some form of mental disarrangement who think that they do not conform.
Felix1
21st Feb 2019
1
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Due to more career and education opportunities away from their home towns, people now lack the security of close friends and family to whom they could turn to in times of stress.
Yogafan
19th Feb 2019
2
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I don't think its the stiff upper lip.I think its more to do with social media.Years ago people spoke to eachother in person,offloading issues,having a shoulder to cry on.These days people talk to eachother on their phones via Whatsapp etc,or Facebook and so on.
John Walsh
17th Feb 2019
4
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It would have been very interesting, as my dad used to say, if this country had been invaded in the last war. There would have been a lot of resistance but a lot of collaboration as well. Its all very well to talk of strong or weak people, but its our own take on life and our upbringing that makes us who we are. The influence of parents is crucial too. As well as that, the circumstances of life mould us as well. Some people just get a raw deal.
HeatherM658
14th Feb 2019
1
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Am sure Social Media is a lot to blame too
NatalieL6
13th Feb 2019
0
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I think that unfortunately the children of today are faced with far more pressures than we ever did and it is causing them problems which they shouldn't have to face at such a young age. This continues into adulthood. Over sharing, and suppressing emotions can be as bad as each other. Its finding the balance which is the key to good mental health.
judeholland
12th Feb 2019
0
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i work full time and care full time if that is possible and i just have to maintain a stiff upper lip and carry on which is very difficult my mental health is suffering as a result
viking
12th Feb 2019
2
Thanks for voting!
"Snowflake" is a very apt title for to-day.
Because everyone is being encouraged "to come forward and find help" there will be a sharp increase of people demanding some form of treatment, after all the NHS is free or this is what the snowflakes feel.
Tr1sh
10th Feb 2019
4
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Prince William, like most of us, can only speak from his own experience which is clearly different from anything the rest of us will ever know.

It is, perhaps, not fair to compare previous generations as each will have faced different challenges. My mother's life was very different from her parents just as my life has been different from my parents.

Personally, I think, it would be more helpful to tackle what can be done to solve today's problems rather than point the finger back at a generation who lived through the hardship of war, loss, poverty and rebuilding.
jeanmark
10th Feb 2019
2
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Well said Tr1sh, but I do believe history can help a little in trying to understand problems of today. I also see no point in comparing one generation with another, and I have never believed that because one person coped with a given situation, everyone else should also cope.
Tr1sh
12th Feb 2019
1
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Hi Jeanmark

Thank you. I agree with your comments too. History does have a lot to teach us.
Jean177
8th Feb 2019
4
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A difficult subject but I was a child in the 1939-45 war and everyone needed this stiff upper lip to cope on a daily basis . We were also taught to put others before ourselves, whereas today’s youth seem to think only of them selves .Every generation copes in their own way , social media today has changed society completely so we have to recognise that it has put far more mental pressure on people, who then need qualified help . I have great admiration for the mental health nurses and Drs , but at the moment they seem to be fighting a loosing battle with such huge case loads .
TheEscapee3108
8th Feb 2019
5
Thanks for voting!
Having worked as a mental health nurse in a very busy crisis team for the last 20 years I have very little to comment except that absolutely nothing shocks me in the world of mental health/illness. The subject is far too broad to reduce the cause down to the stiff upper lip sydrome, believe me!
Waspi59
5th Feb 2019
0
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Yes as children we were not allowed to cry. Or we got a slap for crying ridiculous. Trying to stifle crying and tears so as not to get another slap.
ChristineM1947
5th Feb 2019
5
Thanks for voting!
I think us silversurfers have been able to speak out about a lot of topics, deemed taboo by our parents and grandparents, including death, sexual problems and health, illness, physical and mental, and mostly grief, we found a voice that our parents would never have discussed out with close family, the 1960's gave us that opportunity, today I think we are heard, but not sure if younger people listen, preferring the social media network to gain life skills, which actually seem to be failing them
Lucky Lips
5th Feb 2019
1
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No it is something that is getting worse and bigger by the day as many people do suffer with this awful illness, it is one if those disabilities cannot be seen, l would just like to say l feel for anyone who has got this l have had this awful illness for about 40 years

Lucky Lips
JudithB49
5th Feb 2019
5
Thanks for voting!
It is the actual lack of moral fibre that causes it and the increase of social media which promotes self obsessed behaviour . In fact a bit more stiff upper lip wouldmhelp . The increase in mental vulnerability is due to the increase in being too easily upset or offended. We have spawned a " pathetic" generation. As a child my father could see i would be a victim of bullies , so he taught me to stand up for myself and i have never taken any attempts at knocking me down or harassment . Take a look at schools .... since removing the birch there have been far more injuries , attempts of suicide and actual deaths amongst children ...... A lack of discipline and respect has a lot more to answer for .
jeanmark
5th Feb 2019
2
Thanks for voting!
But Judith, how do you account for mental heath issues in older people? It isn't only the young that suffer, those brought up with the stiff upper lip mentality can, and often do, succumb to mental health problems as a direct result of being expected to 'soldier on'.
Wendyphillips709
5th Feb 2019
2
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I think younger people speak about how they feel but the 50 plus often feel they have to be strong and carry on that’s how we were bought up . our parents after the war years ‘just got on with it’ and we were expected to be the same . Not always easy to do that though !
ChristineH212
5th Feb 2019
3
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I think the opposite is true. Far too much emphasis on self and not enough acceptance that hard times will befall us all. Inner strength helps to get through it.
AndrinaB
5th Feb 2019
1
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I think it's more a case of not wanting others to see your weaknesses or admit that your life isn't perfect.
Junebee
5th Feb 2019
-1
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I was only talking about this a few days ago to a friend that I thought most of the problems come from people no longer have a stiff upper lip upsetting things are unable part of life that you have to deal with .
jeanmark
5th Feb 2019
3
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There are many things in life that not everyone are able to deal with and being told to have a 'stuff upper lip' can make things much worse.
Crystal eyes
3rd Feb 2019
1
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Yes people do not like you to see their vulnerable side so they keep quiet as showing any weakness might be exploited or laughed at in society in general.

So they put on a brave front.

And say nothing about their real feelings....sad really.
DipsyDitsy
3rd Feb 2019
4
Thanks for voting!
NB.Prince William is only 36!
There are lots of routine physical health checks but what about emotional/mental health checks. I think it is still harder for men to admit to feeling emotionally upset than it is for women to do so. Telling people, including children, to not be soft is not helpful. People just need someone to listen sometimes.
biker babe
2nd Feb 2019
6
Thanks for voting!
Prince William should think hard before he opens his mouth! How did he think people coped during wartime? bit of an insult in someways, whats wrong with having a ‘stiff upper lip’! what would he know anyway!
jeanmark
2nd Feb 2019
3
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Both princes have done a great deal to raise awareness of mental health problems so why criticise them for raising it.
LanceFogg
1st Feb 2019
6
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I know I wrote a piece earlier but after reading the comments that have come in since I can't help but ask a few questions and I would be grateful if someone can answer them -
1. What exactly do we mean by mental health?
2. Is it any different to mental attitude?
3. Why are we so preoccupied with mental health issues these days? Are they on the increase or do they just get more publicity?
4. Or are we looking for answers to the problems of terrorism , knife crime, etc. as being explained by the culprits suffering from mental health problems?

It seems to me that currently there is a wave of opinion which wants to decree we are a caring nation and that our behaviour and attitudes needs to change to fit in with that presumption and that care for the "mentally displaced" needs to be part of that.
The problem is that those who are classed as dinosaurs, i.e. those who were familiar with the "stiff upper lip" approach, get pilloried as being incompatible with our beloved new "caring society". I find this very disconcerting because those who support the new caring society are themselves becoming intolerant.

Eventually all "dinosaurs" will be classed as having mental problems and be re-conditioned so as to fit in with the new society. Shades of thought control and 1984 all over again??
SusieB100
1st Feb 2019
0
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Good points Lance - judging by the constant reports of what would appear to be a mental health epidemic, we are all mentally ill. Some say that if you think you are sane then you are probably mad. I quite like being sane - guess that makes me mad too!!!!
jeanmark
2nd Feb 2019
6
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Well Lance, what do we mean by physical health, does that need an explanation? As to mental health issues, they are not new but yes, they are on the increase and people are now recognising they should have the same attention and understanding as physical health. As to a caring society, we have always been a caring society, that is not new, but what is being asked is for us all to be more open and supportive of those experiencing a difficult time. The fact that we may have experienced the same or similar thing doesn't mean everyone else should also cope and neither should we imply they should. I also believe that close knit communities are now a thing of the past, the safety net that these communities provided has been lost.

We are not dinosaurs, but to believe we have survived therefore everyone coming after should, and without question, is no longer considered an option as society has changed dramatically. Surely it is up to us older, and hopefully wiser, individuals to help younger people to recognise the value of living. Whether they want that help is up to them, but at least we can try.
ChristineH212
5th Feb 2019
2
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Excellent questions and I feel you are spot on. Of course we need to support people with genuine needs. But we seem to be a society solely opposed with the relentless pursuit of self gratification. So much so that we thing nothing should ever go wrong to spoil our perpetual happiness. This quite takes away from people with genuine mental health issues. So well said Lance
ChristineM1947
5th Feb 2019
-1
Thanks for voting!
totally agree, to much emphasis on anything going wrong in life becomes a mental health issue, people are so wrapped up in their tiny problems that those that are genuinely suffering with mental health issues, like ex-servicemen, seem to be bypassed for a teenager who cant cope as their social media friends made criticism's about them, or a prospective employer asked too many questions, sorry if I sound flippant, but the last two points do not leave you with mental health issues, the make you find a back bone and become more self sufficient and independent
SusieB100
30th Jan 2019
9
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Well, this is a tough one and I know I risk being labelled heartless but here goes.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with what is colloquially known as a stiff upper lip, which I prefer to refer to as stoicism. On occasions of late I think more people would benefit from exercising this instead of constantly bearing their souls in what seems to have become a fashion trend.
It has become almost de rigour to tell the world of every slight, hardship or difficulty one suffers in the normal course of life and it has become a vehicle for every ‘celebrity’ to ‘inspire’ or ‘set an example’ to their followers. Or is it, my cynical self asks, perhaps just another way of ensuring they stay in the public eye? It is as if they wear their (sometimes imagined or exaggerated) depression, abuse or suffering in much the same way they would don the latest pair of must-have trainers.
Yes, there are times when it is a good, in fact essential thing to talk about personal suffering especially when mental health is genuinely affected but is it necessary for the whole world to suffer in brother or sisterhood when what is really going on is a case of simple fed-upness?
I have no issue whatsoever with those who are truly going through mental trauma or real depression and think it is an area in which we should be showing far more sympathy and investing in quality counselling but in many cases a good old fashioned stiff upper lip and the acceptance that you are not the centre of the universe can get you through the daily difficulties that beset us all at some time or another.
Lionel
30th Jan 2019
3
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Well said SusieB. Heartless? No, pragmatic, I would say.
jeanmark
31st Jan 2019
3
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I don't think you are heartless Susie B but sometimes, those in the public eye can bring comfort to others and can often encourage them to seek help because of their openness. Because a celebrity is open doesn't mean their inner self isn't suffering and they may be going through real depression.

I have found that often people expect everyone to react the same way to similar problems and at times stoicism can have a negative effect on others. The fact that person 'A' coped after a tragedy doesn't make person 'B' any less of a person because they are unable to, that's the problem with being an individual.
SusieB100
1st Feb 2019
0
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Hello Jeanmark,
Yours is a well-reasoned view which I take on board. However, my point was although in some cases celebrities who have suffered genuine mental health issues can indeed bring comfort and encouragement to others, there is a swell of those who ‘jump on the latest bandwagon’ as if, somehow, they will miss out unless they too have endured similar issues.
I fully understand your point that not everyone can cope with simply putting on a brave face and relying on stoicism to see them through and have no issue with the need to seek help but there seems to be an epidemic of so called mental health issues and I know from my own experience with friends that more often than not they are simply fed up and in need of a pal to talk to, a good long walk or a new focus. Life throws all sorts of problems, sorrows, hardships and heartbreak at all of us throughout our lives and a stiff upper lip can often help you to cope.
It is not a terrible thing and there is nothing wrong with it you know.
jeanmark
1st Feb 2019
4
Thanks for voting!
Thank you SusieB, I don't disagree with you and I am aware that there are those that jump on the band wagon to get attention. However, I also know, as you do, that stoicism can also be detrimental to some individuals if they believe they must 'soldier on' despite their inner suffering. Men in particular are often left to suffer in silence because they are told to 'man-up'. I also agree it can sometimes be difficult to identify who is suffering and who just wants attention. Experience has taught me to just assume all need help until proven differently and that is my problem!!
SusieB100
1st Feb 2019
0
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Going back to the original question of ;is the stiff upper lip mentality partially to blame for today's mental health problems?' well I am not convinced. But maybe you are kinder than me Jeanmark!
jeanmark
1st Feb 2019
1
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I'm not sure I'm am kinder than you but I have witnessed the problems caused by a stiff upper lip, if is being used in the context of that very British ability to "remain resolute and unemotional when faced with adversity". As a result I do believe that some problems are caused by it, but by all means not all.
biker babe
2nd Feb 2019
1
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Thank you for your ‘heartfelt’ response! I agree with you wholeheartedly!
ChristineM1947
5th Feb 2019
1
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well said, my thoughts exactly, too many people have actually forgotten how to just have a "chat" with friends and colleagues and feel better afterwards, they seem to prefer to have issues which to my thinking is just life in general
KarG
22nd Feb 2019
3
Thanks for voting!
Jeanmark, on reading through replies on here, I have to say, you have the most compassionate, well rounded view of the whole mental health issue. Like the physical pain threshold, one person's ability to withstand mental anguish, is different from another and having to mask it by whatever means, can be detrimental in the long run. Yes, social media is to blame in that young people are less inclined to talk to each other and open up.
However, it is a great help in that, when they realise they are not alone, when they see a celebrity open up about similar issues, they are experiencing, it gives them confidence to discuss it. Rather than criticise people, of all ages, for the inability to cope, being compassionate is so important. The arrogance of considering other people's problems and how they affect them, trivial, no matter at what age, is as incompassionate as it is cruel. Nobody knows what's going on in someone else's mind and what might seem like a overreaction to a simple problem could just be the straw that broke the camel's back for a person hiding high anxiety.
jeanmark
22nd Feb 2019
1
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Thank you KarG for you kind words.
Lionel
29th Jan 2019
3
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No, a stiff upper lip, so to speak, is not to blame, in general, for todays mental health problems. As said below, their case is singular.

Canvassing a one size fits all policy towards todays mental health problems is a dangerous road. The question is, where does it end? How does anyone one know, professional or otherwise, who is genuine, who is attention seeking or who has an ulterior motive for claiming mental health problems?

Worse, what is normal? What is the determinant for normal thoughts or behaviour?

Do we yet have a diagnosis for, let alone a cure, for a wounded spirit? I believe that condition is at the root of so much.

Wearing our hearts on our sleeves, excusing bad or perhaps serious criminal behaviour because we've got 'issues' hardly seems the way forward for a robust society or for the one claiming 'issues.'

For myself, I have found throughout adulthood, my faith in God my creator and a vigorous prayer life is the great healer. Only God has the keys to a wounded spirit and much else besides. Talk to him, he doesn't tick check boxes.
Lionel
29th Jan 2019
3
Thanks for voting!
In respect of the two Princes I do not think anyone may have an accurate opinion of their personal troubles. They have been raised in a bubble, separated by class and expectation from all of us.

Many of us have been through marriage break ups and divorces or had a parent die unexpectedly. Their parents break up was played out on the stage of the world's media. The circumstance of their mother's death is still, twenty years on, the object of media speculation and inflated theories. Like the Kennedy assassination it won't end, not while there's money to be made from it.

No one reading this is the heir, and possibly next king, from the House of Windsor. The life long expectations and responsibilities are enough in themselves to unsettle William's mind. How may we, or even professionals, enter into that with him?

Most of us on Surfers are well acquainted with grief, heart break and the tragedy of loss. Having now lost all my birth family and many of my wife's family, I thought the worst was over. Then, my 19 year old step grandson hung himself last July. Even that doesn't measure up to the Prince's loss. And here I must thank a Surfer member for her help and guidance in leading my adopted family through that awful time. Thank you so much. But I'm not a Prince of the Realm.
Margaret Hart
29th Jan 2019
3
Thanks for voting!
The stiff upper lip mantality cannot be completely blamed for the mental health problems in the U.K., the biggest fault has to be the lack of medical health. A large no of people here were brought up by adults who thought that way and who thought children should be seen and not heard but then things changed rapidly. Women were suddenly expected to take a major part in earning the family money - Gordon Brown told all students that they were useless unless they had a degree and caused mayhem in this country. Suddenly we had no apprentices to replace retiring people and the country was upside down. We have been short of everything except bank managers and they were playing dirty tricks on their customers. Now we have mothers going back to work a few weeks after they have their babies so babies start their most important years of their lives witheither child minders or in nurseries. The very lucky ones are taken care of by grandparents who do an excellent job. Nurseries could not possibly afford to employ staff to do what a mother would ie spend enough time with them to play, read, chat about everything, nappy train them in effect bring them up. They’ve become more or less rented children put aside until there is time for them. The biggest loss in these situations isthat very important attentionwhere they get taught how to grow up into a decent human being with good manners. I feel very sorry for babies today and for the parents who are missing so many pleasures.
WellMan
29th Jan 2019
0
Thanks for voting!
Stiff upper lip simply is not being honest with oneself and those around who care. So simply no ability to allow or accept help or comfort for those who care.

Plus stiff upper lip does everything to increase suffering in complete solitude ... no room for others to join and hold hands.

Not being honest and being self inflicted isolation of denial destroys hope blinding one to be unable to recognise solutions.

May as well walk around with a large card saying "I am not real", " I am not here", "I am a cardboard cut out" Hence my stiff upper lip.
Wilf
29th Jan 2019
7
Thanks for voting!
Difficult question as there have always been mental health issues and I know from my family that unfortunately quite a few people has issues in the past and I am talking in the last 100 years. It must be sensible for people to talk about their issues. We are all human and whats the point of suffering in silence? Need to enjoy life and if people are having mental health problems then society is duty bound to help and one of the best methods is for people to be able to discuss those issues. I think the 2 Princes have done a great service by getting this difficult subject out into the open. Lets smash all taboos!
Alicia
29th Jan 2019
5
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I think that people with mental health problems do not discuss it openly as they know many people will not understand. It is time to stop the ignorance and people should be more open to learning about mental health problems.
Marley444
29th Jan 2019
3
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Whilst there may be a link to the British stiff upper lip upbringing, I think one of the main contributors to mental health issues is the use of recreational drugs. I think we are only at the beginning of the mental health issues that will manifest over the coming years. It is a fact that the use of weed/cannabis brings on psychotic episodes and has an impact on the brain. I have been saying for many years that this is going to be a major problem for mental health and the NHS. No one knows the ingredients that are used and we know that it is produced by criminals ... it is a no brainer, excuse the pun, that mental health decline will have a bearing on the use of drugs but it doesn't seem to be being addressed at grass roots level.
Wilf
29th Jan 2019
1
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I totally agree Marley. It seems that even long term use of cannabis can lead to neurotic behavior. I also read the other day that London is the cocaine capital of the world with scientists testing the River Thames and detecting traces of it in the now all week. It was only heavy doses at the weekends. This long term use of drugs has got to lead to mental issues.
Alicia
29th Jan 2019
-2
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Mental health issues often start in the childhood years, recreational drugs have nothing to do with it.
Wilf
29th Jan 2019
3
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I am not so sure I think a lot of people get mental health problems when they are adults and come up against the pressures of the world at least that is my experience of friends and colleagues
jeanmark
29th Jan 2019
2
Thanks for voting!
Sorry Marley, mental health issues are not new and most do not relate to recreational drugs. Such an implication can further prevent people seeking help if they believe it is assumed they are drug addicted.

In 2017 there were 5,821 suicides registered in the UK . Men remain three times as likely to take their own lives than women and the highest suicide rate in the UK are for men aged 45-49 (2017 Samaritan's Suicide Statistics Report). There is no way they can all be related to recreational drugs. The problem is far more complex and there are many factors to be considered, recreational drugs play a very small part.
jeanmark
30th Jan 2019
0
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Sorry Alicia, not true for most mental health issues. People can have a very happy childhood and still develop problems, the same as many can have an appalling childhood and still survive without issues.
viking
31st Jan 2019
1
Thanks for voting!
Quite agree with your comments.
If this site were operational in say 15 years time, it would be interesting to then find out how the mental stability of those individualswho to-day are rubbishing the information given out by hospitals and scientists now.
The public has to balance how many of the interlecturals who are in denial , but are in fact imbibers of narcotic drugs themselves.
Dezzi
29th Jan 2019
2
Thanks for voting!
This is a difficult question as I cannot say Yes or No. I don’t think that the stiff upper lip particularly is to blame for mental illness nowadays. With the high upper class it might still be but for the average people it is more to do with men having to show they are strong and not succumb to any signs of weakness. However, I believe this is changing with the modern generation as many of the youngsters want to show their feelings. However, it is well known that children bully children and if a bully spots a weakness in any child the bully will stress that child will cruel jibes and sometimes striking them, hence sometimes making them mentally or physically ill. At these times the parents must keep a look out for signs of bullying and talk and help their child. Children don’t like to appear different from their peers and feel forced to cooperate and look to play. Follow the leader but inside they are very uncomfortable going against their natural feelings.
LanceFogg
29th Jan 2019
2
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Now I've heard just about everything!!
It seems that a large slice of our society are intent on blaming anything else except their own incompetence or shortcomings. On my last contract with a major construction and consultancy company, we had an office talk in which mental health was given as much priority as physical well-being which to begin with sounded reasonable. However as the presented proceeded I began to feel more and more that the issue was being used an excuse. If the workforce didn't do well then there must be something wrong with their mental health. No way.
We have already entered into the era of everyone being offended which, according to some pundits, is a representation of a certain type of mental illness. So you're offended; my response is typically "hard cheese".
When I came back from Saudi Arabia where I been working for 12 months I had problems leaving because my visa had expired by 2 days. In the end it took me a further 10 days and a fine of £50,000 in order to exit. I was naturally rather annoyed and get it off my chest I concocted a note in the form of a newspaper front page in which I liberally used the F word. In jest I emailed to some colleagues in my business with the result that the next time I was due to attend a regional meeting I received an email requesting that I did not attend. Certain members of the group had been "offended" by my note. My reaction? I replied with a newspaper article in which a psychologist claimed that it was good to say F-word because it helps you get the problem out of your system.
Chances are these comments will either be censored or redacted.
4
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You were correct ... I did censor a couple of the words you used 😉 there a plenty of other websites which tolerate the use of swear words, but I am afraid we don't. However, we do encourage freedom of speech so your comment is equally welcome 🙂
jeanmark
1st Feb 2019
1
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Interesting comments Lance but sometimes the use of certain words may help the person speaking them, but can have a very detrimental effect on the person it is aimed at. I spent a number of years caring for patients of which some could only express themselves by the use of profanity and I am sure you will believe that helped them. Now imagine your 19 year old grand-daughter was the young student nurse receiving this abuse, does this change your mind or do you think she should have accepted the abuse and not have been frightened and upset?
Billythequiche
29th Jan 2019
5
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Difficult to make a sensible comment. I don't think I have or had a mental issue but the perceived wisdom is that every feeling less than optimal must have a label and explains everything.
I didn't have ADHD, but often got my knuckles rapped for not paying attention.
I don't think I had dyslexia, but if I did, sitting for hours reading and spelling out loud sorted it.
I didn't have "clinical depression" but when I lost loved ones, my job, or just wondered how to pay the next bills, I sure felt depressed.
I didn't have PTSD but took some time to get over a serious motorbike accident.
So you see, I don't know if I am lucky and mental illness free, mentally ill and deluded about my condition or just ignorant of how to tell the difference.
I will make one comment that I feel very strongly about and risk the wrath of many. It is an insult to our services, armed and emergency, or those who have been through a terrorist incident for the condition PTSD to be claimed by those having a lesser upset or those looking for a label to get sympathy.
Alicia
29th Jan 2019
2
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Having PTSD is not an insult to our services! The condition can be caused by other traumatic incidents, in childhood for example.
Lionel
29th Jan 2019
1
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Alicia, that's not what Billy wrote.

He said, PTSD, shouldn't be claimed by those having a lesser upset or those looking for a label to get sympathy. That is the insult to our services.
Billythequiche
30th Jan 2019
1
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You misunderstand me, having PTSD is not an insult, CLAIMING you have PTSD when you haven't is.
jeanmark
30th Jan 2019
3
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Billy, I agree in principle but there is a difference between low mood and true clinical depression, if you suffer with the latter I can assure you you will know. I have to agree it may seem difficult to assess what is and what is not a mental health issue. The problem may well be with us being individuals and thus responding differently to similar situations. This can lead to some people not understanding why one person folds under pressure when others, under the same pressure, do not.

I do agree with your comment relating to PTSD when used as a label to get sympathy, but I'm not sure that something that appears minor to one person is necessarily minor to someone else.

I just feel that we should all allow people to express their thoughts without fear of being ridiculed and labelled. Maybe if we all begin to encourage people to be open and honest about their feeling, became less judgemental and more understanding of others perceived suffering things may improve - but I won't hold my breath!
MrsPat
29th Jan 2019
3
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Yes we should show our feelings more but then us women have always been good at that. My old man is the worse he has got about as much empathy as a dead haddock-one of the reasons I left him recently.
CaroleAH
29th Jan 2019
1
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Your Ex sounds as bad as mine, MrsPat! When a colleague rang him to say that I had been taken to hospital, by ambulance, with chest pains, he replied "Thank-you for telling me but I'm not sure what you want me to do!" I'm sure that all men cannot be tarred with the same brush 🙂
Lionel
29th Jan 2019
4
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No, Carole, we're not.
CaroleAH
29th Jan 2019
2
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Think MrsPat and I drew the short straws, Lionel
Lionel
29th Jan 2019
2
Thanks for voting!
Not neccessarily, Carole, my dear wife sometimes says I'm a one off.

Funny, she never says if this is a good thing.
CaroleAH
29th Jan 2019
1
Thanks for voting!
Having chatted with you in the past, Lionel, I'm sure that Kathryn means it as a compliment 🙂
jeanmark
31st Jan 2019
2
Thanks for voting!
No Carole, they can't all be tarred with the same brush. I have been married to a wonderful, thoughtful and loving man for 41 years. He is supportive in all aspects on my life, has always been there during low periods of ill health and has been very understand of my needs at such times. Mind you, he's pretty lucky in having me also!!!
CaroleAH
31st Jan 2019
1
Thanks for voting!
It sounds as though you have a perfect gem, Jeanmark - and I loved your last remark 🙂

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