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Mary Jessica's latest comments
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26th Jan 2019Mary Jessica commented on:
Relationship break downsI was close to my grandson 5 years ago. My son met and married a young lady and his relationship with me became more than distant. It seemed like he didn't like anything about me. That I can live with but the immediate refusal of me stopping by on Easter (about 5 years ago) surprised me. His sudden change I still can't understand. They seem to not care that my now 12 year old grandson wishes to see me. Today is my birthday weekend. I just feel stunned that for 5 years I kept thinking that if I'm patient and understanding they will allow me to visit my grandson without being rude to me. My son texts me and asks if I can stop by to visit only when his wife is at work. He works nights. She works days. I just don't understand why when she is home he buries his head in the phone and clearly doesn't want me in his home. This wouldn't bother me but for the fact that my grandson also texts me and says he misses me. And is looking forward to seeing me on the weekends he is with his dad and step mom. I end up crying into the night and feeling very badly for my grandson. His father works tonight and tomorrow into the morning. I don't understand why I felt afraid to ask if I could see my grandson while his dad is at work. His step mom has an 18 month old baby and I would love to visit them as well. But know ing the answer would be NO, with eye rolling and attitude I just stayed quiet. When the pizza delivery guy dropped off their pizza I let myself out in a polite manner. When I got to my car I wept all the way home. Is this normal? Does anyone else feel this way? Before my son met this young lady he would allow me to take my grandson for an entire day. I took him to wave parks, and for walks, and lunches out, even movies and bowling. Once he met this person almost all visits with my grandson were denied. The child suffers. And I struggle with not knowing the best thing to do for this wonderful 12 year old boy. Ive thought about moving out of Va to Md because I feel that perhaps this is happening because I live to close. When my son bought his house one of her parents moved in and helped him with his mortgage. At The same time my son asked me to move closer to their new home. I did this and I've regretted the 2 years that I've lived only 20 minutes away. I feel like if I lived farther away he might be less uptight. At this point I've dealt with his wife's silliness. One day about a year ago she told my son that I gave her a mean look. I wasn't able to see my grandson for 6 months. I would be crazy to give her a mean look. I would not do anything stupid to give her a reason not to let me visit. Are any other grandparents experiencing this and watching their grandkids grow up from a distance. I tried to prepare my grandson and explained to him that I was thinking about moving to Md where a lot of my old friends live but he became very sad and asked me to stay close by. I was surprised at his reaction. He hides his feelings when my son's wife is around. He seems afraid to upset her. So what I thought was normal detachment from me was just him hiding his feelings of happiness when I stop by. I always ask first before a visit and I make sure my visits are short. What else can I do to make this easier for my grandson? I have no hope to be close to my younger grandson. When my son placed him in my arms a few weeks ago, at a soccer game, his wife snatched him away from me. This was embarrassing because we were watching my older grandson playing defense and I were standing in front of the bleachers. The other parents and family members saw her snatch the baby from me. I am guessing she was in the bathroom when my son handed me their baby. And I guess when she saw me holding him, it struck a nerve. But I can't imagine why. I know she gets jealous when my son gives his eldest son attention but I am just a gramma. There's nothing to be jealous of because I'm not there much and I don't want my son's attention. I just want to visit my grandson and love him. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I'm worried about my grandson and I have given up ever being close to the baby. I feel alone with these thoughts of sadness. I live alone and don't date. I have a little dog that I'm curling up with now. I don't know what I would do without the comfort of my sweet little dog.